It’s Opening Day! Baseball season is officially here! Which means that maybe it will stop snowing and get above 40 degrees. And maybe I’ll be able to wear flip flops again sometime soon.
It also means it is completely acceptable to start drinking before noon and spend all day drinking Old Style and making out with cute boys in Wrigleyville.
Oh, who am I kidding? That is acceptable all the time.
In honor of Opening Day (Go Cubbies!) I present to you the Opening Day Death Is Not An Option. For any new folks, the idea is to vote for one of the two choices that you’d sleep with, and death is NOT an option. (Previous rounds can be found here.)
Round 8
The Vomit in Your Mouth Edition
Randy Johnson vs. Rod Beck
The Announcer Edition
Peter Gammons vs. Harry Caray
The Manager Edition
Don Zimmer vs. Lou Pinella
The Both Are Just Ugly Edition
John Kruk vs. Gary Gaetti
The ‘Stache Edition
Dennis Eckersley vs. Jim Leyland
The Death Would Be An Option for Kristabella Edition
Derek Jeter vs. Alex Rodriguez
The Pitcher Edition
Barry Zito vs. Tim Hudson
The I Wouldn’t Kick Them Out of Bed Edition
Mark Mulder vs. Troy Glaus
The Yummilicious Edition
Joe Mauer vs. Pat Burrell
The Two of Kristabella’s Favorites Edition
Mark Grace vs. David Wright
A nice blend of nasty and yummy for a Monday morning! Leave your choices in the comments!
:::
Also, it is the last day to vote for the Chicago Woman of the Year, so if you wouldn’t mind, please go cast one more vote for my friend Jenny! Many, many thanks to all the people have voted so far!
Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977 
Yeeeehaaaa, I’m first!
1. Rod Beck – Death should be an option – Randy Johnson scares the crap out of me
2. Harry Carey – how could you not?
3. Sweet Lou
4. Gary Gaetti – I like him
5. Dennis Eckersley
6. Ick Ick Ick – OK – A Rod
7. Barry Zito – how cute!
8. Mark Mulder – DITTO!
9. Pat Burrell – how HOT!
10. Gracie – now and forever
Oh, and I’ve been a typical Chicagoan voting for Jenny – vote often – under every email address I have. I hope she wins!
By: Mahnee on March 31, 2008
at 6:23 am
1. Death….
2. Carey…maybe he’ll sing me a song…ick!
3. Lou
4. Gaetti
5. Eckersley…though I think the 70’s called him and wants their hair back…
6. Jeter
7. Hudson
8. Mulder
9. Burrell…rawr!!!
10. Wright
Of course I’d have to get a roll of duct tape…no one is aloud to speak of baseball when I’m around 😉
By: Melissa on March 31, 2008
at 8:49 am
Burrell’s man boobs scare me.
By: -R- on March 31, 2008
at 11:02 am
What is wrong with Don Zimmer’s Face!?
By: Michelle on March 31, 2008
at 11:58 am
You are so mean.
1. I will tug on Randy Johnson’s hair…because the other guy is a walrus..
2. I’m picking Harry because he will be the first man to tell me I have no cellulite (did you look at his glasses? they’re thicker than Mr Magoo’s!)
3. Lou is gonna be my man for this one.
4. Kruk, I’m a Philly gal and he was a key part of the 96 season…so I guess he deserves my body for that.
5. Eckersly, I’ll pretend the year is 1972 and Eckersly is a sex symbol of the times.
6. A-Rod, Jeters a dbag.
7. Tim, Barry’s bed head leaves much to be desired. Who has he already tussled? Why didn’t he wait for me?
8. Troy. I have no other reason than my loins told me to pick him. I listen to my loins.
9. Burrell but only because of the Philly thing.
10. Wright…but I think they both are nice.
By: Melina on March 31, 2008
at 12:58 pm
Ooo…fun! And I say, “Go Cards!!!” The stadium is right down the street from my office and it’s pure torture right now.
1. Eww…Eww…Eww…Eww! Randy Johnson, but only b/c the diehard Cards fan in me couldn’t pick a Cubbie.
2. Peter Gammons
3. Lou Pinella – Dude, Zim looks bloated.
4. Gary Gaetti
5. Dennis Eckersley
6. Derek Jeter
7. Tim Hudson
8. Mark Mulder – I have a fan crush on him. 🙂 Although, Troy is cute too. Can I have both?
9. Pat Burrell – yummy.
10. David Wright
By: Tara on March 31, 2008
at 1:56 pm
Why do I love you when you are obviously evil and hate us?
1.Randy-handlebars are right out
2.Gammons? Less ooky somehow. I can’t defile Carey
3.Pinella-the other one? no. just no.
4.Gaetti of the no chins
5.Eckersley-even though it’s going to require a weed whacker.
6.Isn’t Jeter the one that screwed over Halle? A-Rod
7.Hudson.
8.Glaus-though he looks like an ass. Cute but ass= probably decent in bed and no guilt when I never want to see him again.
9.Mauer-the other guy looks at himself in the mirror too much 🙂
10.Wright
By: Raven on March 31, 2008
at 2:23 pm
Oh, this is SO not right. But because I woke up with morning with Kevin Costner’s “I Believe” speech running through my head, I’ll play.
1. Randy Johnson, but blindfolded.
2. Peter Gammons
3. Lou Pinella
4. Gary Gaetti (and ewwwww, I had to go vomit after the first 4)
5. Eckersley
6. A Rod
7. Tim Hudson
8. Troy Glaus
9. Joe Mauer
10. Mark Grace
And I should have boycotted it just because you had no Tigers listed. Sniff.
By: hotfessional on March 31, 2008
at 2:30 pm
I have an irrational hatred of David Wright. I know, it’s stupid. And also, he’s young enough to be my nephew or something.
SO, KJ — what does this week (or next, I don’t care) look like on your calendar? Want to stop by?
By: Marianne on March 31, 2008
at 2:35 pm
Ew. Randy Johnson.
Harry Caray, duh.
Lou Pinela (kinda cute in a teddy bearish way)
Gary Gaetti, cause he is a former Twin
Dennis Eckersley, cause I have good luck with Dennises
A. Rod, because NO NOT Jeter under any circumstances
Zito!
Troy Glaus, cutie
JOE MAUER, OBVI–My HS totally played in the State Tourney against his HS when I was a senior and he was a sophomore
David Wright
By: Laurel on March 31, 2008
at 3:32 pm
Oh now some of these are just nasty!
By: Vanessa on March 31, 2008
at 6:49 pm
Bigger news–did you not see who tagged you? Check out Jen Lancaster my friend, and Squeeee away!!!! : )
By: manic mommy on March 31, 2008
at 10:37 pm
Go, Red Sox!
That is all.
By: nancypearlwannabe on April 1, 2008
at 4:16 am
Randy Johnson
Peter Gammons
Lou Pinella
Gary Gaetti
Dennis Eckersley
Derek Jeter
Barry Zito (Huddy is kinda small)
Troy Glaus (Mulder spelled my name with a “y” and that still bugs me – plus he drinks Zima!)
Joe Mauer
Mark Grace
By: Lori on April 1, 2008
at 9:59 am
Not a single BRAVES player on here? Really? And I suggested this DINAO!
Therefore, I boycott. 😛
By: The Muse on April 1, 2008
at 12:48 pm
i was about to cuss you for the nasty fuckers on the list, but then I saw the hotties, and you soooo redeemed yourself. however, i’m still boycotting. 🙂
By: danielle on April 1, 2008
at 5:28 pm
I was going to participate, until I read all the Jeter-bashing going on on this site. I, as a die-hard Yankees fan, hereby protest. And furthermore, I’m reporting you. To someone. I’m not sure who yet, but someone! Huff!
Oh…and as for the first? Randy Johnson. Because they don’t call him the Big Unit for nothing.
By: Candy on April 2, 2008
at 8:48 am
Beck
Gammons
Pinella
Kruk – just leave the chew on the nightstand:)
Eck
A-Rod – luv the eyes!
Hudson
Glaus
Burrell
Wright
By: Christina on April 3, 2008
at 5:47 pm