Posted by: kristabella | March 27, 2008

I Must Have Murdered A Dentist In A Former Life

Today was Root Canal Day – Part 1.

Yeah, you read that right. Part one. Which means I have to go back. And I’m not talking about going back to get the crown made and put on. I’m talking I have to go back and have another partial root canal done. In two weeks. I must have pissed the dental gods off something awful with all my bad talk about Dentist McDouchey and just hating the dentist in general.

Let me just tell you why the dentists of the world have it in for me. First, let’s rewind to Wednesday afternoon. I get a call from the dentist’s office to tell me, frantically, that I have to come in at 9 instead of 9:30 so that the dude will have enough time to do the procedure of removing the nerve from my tooth.

So this morning, I bust my ass to get there before 9. Because I try to follow directions. So I get there about 8:57 and I walk in the front vestibule, turn to the office door and notice the lights are out. So I pull on the door and it is locked. There is NO ONE there. The people who frantically told me to be there RIGHT AT 9, were not even there themselves. As if I did not hate this dental office anymore, they wanted to throw one last log on the Hatred Fire.

About 9:15, some woman comes and half-heartedly apologizes for being late. I was on the phone with my mom at the time, and made damn sure I told my mom loudly how ridiculous this was and how angry I was. Just loud enough for the dental assistant lady to hear. And the people down the street.

Dentist McDouchey didn’t even make it there until after 9:30. Which, what the fuck? I could have slept an extra half hour. He numbs me up and gets going. I turned on my iPod right away and said as little as possible to him. Thankfully since he’s such a jerkface, he wasn’t saying much to begin with. Although, anything he did say, I didn’t understand because he’s foreign and has a heavy accent and mumbles.

It went fine. I didn’t feel anything after the Novocaine kicked in. It was just a lot of drilling, a lot of weird smells and some weird beeping. So he finishes up, puts the chair upright and all I hear is dentalwordsIdon’tknow solution dewifodwnvodsoi two weeks. And then he looks at me again and says “two weeks” and him and dental assistant lady walk out of the room. I just sat in the chair because WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN TWO WEEKS?

Thankfully dental assistant lady came back in so I was like “why do I have to come back in two weeks?” And she said, quite snottily I might add, which I won’t even point out that she kept me WAITING, “like he just told you, you have to come back in two weeks to finish.”

Me: Finish what?

Snotty Dental Bitch: He just TOLD you.

Me: I didn’t UNDERSTAND him.

Snotty Dental Bitch: Finish the root canal.

Me: Why didn’t he finish today?

SDB: Like he just said, you somehow have made it so that you, and only you, are responsible for having a dried out root and nerve. So because you suck and have dried out the inner recesses of your TOOTH, he has to do extra work to get the rest of it out.

Me: Um, OK, what?

SDB: He had to put solution in there and seal it up and hopefully it will soften the rest of the nerve up and hopefully you don’t fuck it up and dry it out again and then come back in two week to get it all out.

So not only did I got through a root canal, so I’m in immense pain, I also still have part of the nerve left so I still have the sensitivity. It’s like I won the devil’s lottery and get to live in hell with a space heater.

I was fine up until about 2 this afternoon. I ate lunch, took some Advil, but then it started to get unbearable. I got some Vicodin on Monday, but I was a little nervous about taking it at work because I’ve never taken it before. So I didn’t know how I’d react and I figured I could get through the day with tons of Advil.

I was wrong. I was almost crying by 3, after about 7 Advil. And I made it until about 4:30, mostly by continually slamming my hand in the desk drawer to take the pain elsewhere, before I asked to go home. I popped the Vicodin as soon as I walked in the door. And let me tell you, it isn’t helping.

Yep. It has been almost 4 hours since I took it and it ISN’T HELPING. I still feel like someone is hammering on my jaw all while squirting acid into the little piece of nerve left. My ear is starting to hurt as is my head. And all the Vicodin is doing is making me dizzy. Which let me tell you, is not teh awesome because it’s making me have a headache. I don’t know what Brett Favre was thinking getting addicted to this shit.

So I’m going to try and go to bed. With a bag of ice on my face. So I hope you’ll forgive me for no DINAO this week. But I have something special planned for Monday, since it is Opening Day. So next week will be a bonus DINAO week because I’ll try to have 2 rounds, sans cartoons.

And if you know any sacrificial offerings I can make to Denticus or the other dental gods, it would be much appreciated. (And if this makes no sense, the Vicodin does more than make me dizzy.)

Edited to add: Thanks for all the comments!

I took 4 Advil before I went to bed and slept with an ice pack on my face and it seemed to work. It is A LOT better today. But I’m sticking with Advil and not the Vicodin, unless it gets out of control.

And for all your suggestions to go see a new dentist, as much as I’d like to, since they’ve already started and have charged me out the nose for this, I don’t want to go somewhere else and get charged all over again and they have to finish it.

But BELIEVE YOU ME, once he’s finished, I’m off to a new dentist for the crown.




    Seriously! That is fucking ridiculous!

  2. Yikes, that is crazy weird. Good luck with part 2 and make sure not to “dry it out” or whatever the heck they are talking about.

  3. I hope that your tooth feels better soon. So basically you’re supposed to suffer for two more weeks until this softens up? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!

    Sounds like it’s time for a new dentist!

  4. Oh you poor thing! I can’t believe they are making you wait for TWO WEEKS! wow! i really hope the vic. starts working for you!

  5. That. Is. HORRIBLE! I hope it’s starting to feel better!

  6. ::: shaking head :::

    I can’t believe he said two weeks!

    I wish so badly you could find another DDS.

    And, I hope you get some pain relife from the Vic soon!

  7. YOU have GOT to get a NEW DENTIST. Call your Mom tell her you need her to drive you to the DENTIST tomorrow and get this taken care of (NOT the old dentist, a new dentist). We’ll talk about the dental malpractice after you feel better.

  8. I don’t have any great advice other than ask for Percocet. Vicodin is known to cause nausea, dizziness and headache in a large number of people. Percocet is a much better painkiller and does not have these side effects. Good luck, root canals suck.

  9. NEW DENTIST! NEW DENTIST NOW!! The whole thing sounds absolutely horrible, and I’m so sorry you’re in such pain. I agree with Jenny from Chicago – I would NOT be returning to that crack-head dental office!

  10. I hope you slept OK…I didn’t from worrying about you being in such pain. But that’s a mom’s job. I also hope the pain is gone….if not, I think you have to call douche bag dentist for some other pain killer….he’s the only one who’s going to be able to prescribe something different since he just saw you (and caused the pain). Let me know how you are!!!
    Love you. I’d take your pain away and suffer myself in a heartbeat if I could!!!!!!!

  11. Your dentist sucks.

    Forget the vicodin and switch to wine. It doesn’t help any more with the pain, but its more interesting and fun.

    And get a new dentist. There’s got to be more than 1 in Chicago. Personally, I wouldn’t go back there if he paid me.

  12. Ouch ouch ouch. I’m guessing wine is probably not an option right now, so all I can suggest is that you find some way to place a curse on Snotty Dental Lady at least. Hope you feel better soon…

  13. Poor baby. I’ll tell you though. Vicodin and a shot of vodka will help you sleep the night away…..

    Um, really bad cramps.

  14. Honey, you’re going to have to give me a head’s up when you’re done with the dentist, because I can’t take this shit.

    May I just suggest, maybe not the Advil…because of the blood thinning aspect? Or did they tell you to take that? I’d go with something different probably. Like a gun.

  15. I’m so sorry that you are in so much pain. It sounds absolutely brutal. Hopefully it feels a little bit better today. Dentists=devil. yuck.

  16. Oh man, you poor baby. I hope you are hopped up on delicious drugs today and in much less pain.

    I kill your dentist!

    (I make a lot of violent threats on your blog, no?)

  17. Oh that sucks, that sucks big time!! You should find out where that bastard lives and then go sit on his front stoop yelling obscenities and rhythmically kicking his front door until he agrees he’s a fuck up and that he’ll finish what he started for free. Take a couple fifths of Jack with you, you’ll need it.

  18. 2 weeks! That is BS. You Dr. is a jerk. I think you should call and see if they can get you in sooner.

    Be careful with Vicodin, it makes me high, and not in a good way!

  19. My poor Kristbella! I hope you’re better today. Rub whiskey on the tooth and gum and then take a good swig of it.

  20. This did NOT make me feel better about scheduling my impending doom. Err, root canal. Getting my wisdom teeth out was the worst pain in my life and if that makes me a wuss, so be it. Dental work SUCKS.

  21. Oh my god, hon, I am SO SORRY that you are going through all of this. A root canal sucks enough on it’s own, but to have to deal with an a-hole dentist and his snotty assistant AND still not be done with it is just unreasonable. What a douche. ARGH.

  22. You poor thing. Is it possible you accidentally went to a S&M dentist? There is no way these crazies could not realize how horrible they’re being.
    Good luck and in two weeks kick their asses to the curb!

  23. Root canals suck, but miss dental assistant doesn’t have to be such a bitch. She’s having a hell of a lot more fun than you are!

  24. Just put off my much needed root canal for ELEVEN MILLION years.

  25. YIKES!!! You could buy something right next to my house that will take you to a happy place. I’m sure the gentleman with the pounding bass would even deliver for a new client. 😉 Hope your all better soon!

  26. I’m beginning to wonder if the vicodin finally kicked in seeing as you haven’t updated your blog in a while! Hope you’re feeling OK!

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