World Upside Down

I actually meant to write this post on Monday, but since I have a tendency to forget things and get distracted by all things shiny and photos of hot baseball players with their shirts off, it slipped my mind. Which is actually surprising since not a day goes by when I don’t think about this time of my life last year.

It was a year ago today that I was officially fired because of my blog. When my world, as I knew it, was turned on its head.

For those of you who are new here, you can read the two-part story here and here of how it all went down. The bottom line is that I guessed the company’s new (STUPID) name, jokingly put it on my blog because of all its STUPIDNESS and when people searched for Slalom Consulting, when they found out the new (STUPID) name, I was the first hit on Google. Which was exciting for a hot second and then the whole firing took place and I couldn’t really be excited about my Google Page Rank status, now could I?

They had (STUPIDLY) decided not to make the new site live until the big party (which I ruined, by the way) later in the evening. So five locations of a company were TOLD the name, and being IT consultants, they Googled the new (STUPID) name. Enter Kristabella: Full of Snark. Top of page one. As Jen pointed out, I got fired because I was smarter than them. And that is why I love her. That and her love of trashy reality television.

I have moved on from that incident. I have grown and learned from it. For instance, I learned:

• It isn’t a good idea to call a VP at your company a pompous ass
• Repeatedly
• Even if he is
• Most companies are oblivious to the technological world we live in
• So don’t blog about work
• Everything really does happen for a reason

It is one year later and it still haunts me every day. I live in fear of being found out. While I really try not to blog about work, I worry that I’ll encounter another person who can’t get the fuck over themselves and take offense that I have a website. Where I say fuck a lot. And talk a lot about Bacon and sleeping with ugly celebrities and/or cartoons. It has changed me. And not it a good way.

I hate that I have this constant fear. Because I’ve done nothing wrong. This is my life outside of my job. And I shouldn’t be fearful that something like this could happen again. Because it really shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

I know. I fucked up last time. Had I read more Dooce and not just gazed at photos of her dogs and her baubles and fancy tea cups, I would have known DON’T BLOG ABOUT WORK! Especially don’t blog the new (STUPID) name, even if you think it is a big joke because who the hell names a consulting company with offices in Chicago after a skiing term? Besides stupid people? I like to think I’ve learned my lesson.

But my one mistake (in their eyes) shouldn’t make me worry. I HATE, like heat of a thousand suns HATE, the fact the jackass CEO at Slapdick Consulting has won. That until I let go of the fear that he created, he will always win and have a little piece of my soul. And as much as I tell myself I’m not fearful, it doesn’t stop my heart from racing and the bottom dropping out whenever I’m approached by a boss-type person about something I’m not expecting or told to come into their office.

I have to let it go. It happened. I ended up way better off, at a job I enjoy much more, where I get to do things that I enjoy and get to drink a lot more free alcohol. I can do that again, if I were to be faced with that again. I can bounce back. I am a survivor. Me and Beyonce.

Because I can’t let the asshats win. But I can turn Asshat CEO into an awful, awful character in my book. And that’s just as rewarding.