I Must Have Murdered A Dentist In A Former Life

Today was Root Canal Day – Part 1.

Yeah, you read that right. Part one. Which means I have to go back. And I’m not talking about going back to get the crown made and put on. I’m talking I have to go back and have another partial root canal done. In two weeks. I must have pissed the dental gods off something awful with all my bad talk about Dentist McDouchey and just hating the dentist in general.

Let me just tell you why the dentists of the world have it in for me. First, let’s rewind to Wednesday afternoon. I get a call from the dentist’s office to tell me, frantically, that I have to come in at 9 instead of 9:30 so that the dude will have enough time to do the procedure of removing the nerve from my tooth.

So this morning, I bust my ass to get there before 9. Because I try to follow directions. So I get there about 8:57 and I walk in the front vestibule, turn to the office door and notice the lights are out. So I pull on the door and it is locked. There is NO ONE there. The people who frantically told me to be there RIGHT AT 9, were not even there themselves. As if I did not hate this dental office anymore, they wanted to throw one last log on the Hatred Fire.

About 9:15, some woman comes and half-heartedly apologizes for being late. I was on the phone with my mom at the time, and made damn sure I told my mom loudly how ridiculous this was and how angry I was. Just loud enough for the dental assistant lady to hear. And the people down the street.

Dentist McDouchey didn’t even make it there until after 9:30. Which, what the fuck? I could have slept an extra half hour. He numbs me up and gets going. I turned on my iPod right away and said as little as possible to him. Thankfully since he’s such a jerkface, he wasn’t saying much to begin with. Although, anything he did say, I didn’t understand because he’s foreign and has a heavy accent and mumbles.

It went fine. I didn’t feel anything after the Novocaine kicked in. It was just a lot of drilling, a lot of weird smells and some weird beeping. So he finishes up, puts the chair upright and all I hear is dentalwordsIdon’tknow solution dewifodwnvodsoi two weeks. And then he looks at me again and says “two weeks” and him and dental assistant lady walk out of the room. I just sat in the chair because WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN TWO WEEKS?

Thankfully dental assistant lady came back in so I was like “why do I have to come back in two weeks?” And she said, quite snottily I might add, which I won’t even point out that she kept me WAITING, “like he just told you, you have to come back in two weeks to finish.”

Me: Finish what?

Snotty Dental Bitch: He just TOLD you.

Me: I didn’t UNDERSTAND him.

Snotty Dental Bitch: Finish the root canal.

Me: Why didn’t he finish today?

SDB: Like he just said, you somehow have made it so that you, and only you, are responsible for having a dried out root and nerve. So because you suck and have dried out the inner recesses of your TOOTH, he has to do extra work to get the rest of it out.

Me: Um, OK, what?

SDB: He had to put solution in there and seal it up and hopefully it will soften the rest of the nerve up and hopefully you don’t fuck it up and dry it out again and then come back in two week to get it all out.

So not only did I got through a root canal, so I’m in immense pain, I also still have part of the nerve left so I still have the sensitivity. It’s like I won the devil’s lottery and get to live in hell with a space heater.

I was fine up until about 2 this afternoon. I ate lunch, took some Advil, but then it started to get unbearable. I got some Vicodin on Monday, but I was a little nervous about taking it at work because I’ve never taken it before. So I didn’t know how I’d react and I figured I could get through the day with tons of Advil.

I was wrong. I was almost crying by 3, after about 7 Advil. And I made it until about 4:30, mostly by continually slamming my hand in the desk drawer to take the pain elsewhere, before I asked to go home. I popped the Vicodin as soon as I walked in the door. And let me tell you, it isn’t helping.

Yep. It has been almost 4 hours since I took it and it ISN’T HELPING. I still feel like someone is hammering on my jaw all while squirting acid into the little piece of nerve left. My ear is starting to hurt as is my head. And all the Vicodin is doing is making me dizzy. Which let me tell you, is not teh awesome because it’s making me have a headache. I don’t know what Brett Favre was thinking getting addicted to this shit.

So I’m going to try and go to bed. With a bag of ice on my face. So I hope you’ll forgive me for no DINAO this week. But I have something special planned for Monday, since it is Opening Day. So next week will be a bonus DINAO week because I’ll try to have 2 rounds, sans cartoons.

And if you know any sacrificial offerings I can make to Denticus or the other dental gods, it would be much appreciated. (And if this makes no sense, the Vicodin does more than make me dizzy.)

Edited to add: Thanks for all the comments!

I took 4 Advil before I went to bed and slept with an ice pack on my face and it seemed to work. It is A LOT better today. But I’m sticking with Advil and not the Vicodin, unless it gets out of control.

And for all your suggestions to go see a new dentist, as much as I’d like to, since they’ve already started and have charged me out the nose for this, I don’t want to go somewhere else and get charged all over again and they have to finish it.

But BELIEVE YOU ME, once he’s finished, I’m off to a new dentist for the crown.