Posted by: kristabella | March 15, 2008

DINAO Round 6 – The Rapper Version

I know you were all thinking there would be no Death Is Not An Option this week. And most of you probably won’t look at this until Monday anyway. But at least I know that I did one this week.

I had all intentions to do this Thursday night. Because while I did have another going away party for co-workers, I planned on coming home before 10. The group was heading out to another bar around that time and I was just not going to go to that bar. I even told a friend at work to not let me go. Needless to say, alcohol took over and she’s like 5-2 so she had no chance of talking me out of it. I got to bed about midnight. And had to get up even earlier Friday morning to go to breakfast. So Friday was a bad day. So bad that I had to go home instead of going out with a fellow blogger in town because I felt like shit. Plus I totally would have been crabby and no fun to be around and I’m already an asshole in person, so adding crabby to that mix is a bad deal.

So anyway, here is this week’s DINAO. And thanks to Jules for the idea!

Remember the point is to pick one of the two that you would have to sleep with, knowing that death is not an option. (Click here for the links to all the previous versions.)

Round 6

The OG Edition

Snoop Dogg vs. Dr. Dre

snoop.jpg     dre.jpg

The White Guy Edition

Eminem vs. The Beastie Boys

eminem.jpg     beastie-boys.jpg

The Lady Rapper Edition

Lil Kim vs. Eve

lilkim.jpg     eve.jpg

The Dead Rapper Edition

Old Dirty Bastard vs. Easy E

odb.jpg     easy-e.jpg

The Yummy Muscles Edition

LL Cool J vs. Tupac

ll-cool-j.jpg     tupac.jpg

The Modest Rapper Edition

Jay Z vs. Kanye West

jayz.jpg     kanye.jpg

The I-Can’t-Wait-To-See-What-You-All-Pick Edition

Notorious B.I.G. vs. Lil Jon

biggie.jpg     lil-john.jpg

The Thug Edition

50 Cent vs. R. Kelly

50.jpg     rkelly.jpg

The Kristabella’s Favorites (For Their Music) Edition

Ludacris vs. Nelly

ludacris.jpg     nelly.jpg

The Ice Edition (that I forgot and added later) 

Ice Cube vs. Ice T

ice-cube.jpg     ice-t.jpg

Have at it in the comments!

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Responses

  1. here goes….

    1. Snoop – and a little weed
    2. Eminem – I could get my name in a song
    3. Eve – cleaner
    4. Easy E – sounds Easy and ODB looks ‘krazee’
    5. Tupac – this was really a hard one
    6. Jay Z – $$$$ and no like Kanye
    7. Notorious B.I.G. – No grills
    8. 50 Cent – RK should probably be in jail
    9. Ludacris – He’s just too cute

  2. I was scrolling through thinkin, I got this yo. This shit is mad easy-till I hit Nelly and Luda. Then I actually had a problem.

    Snoop- He’s chill and Dre looks mean.

    BEASTIES!- I did it like this, I did like that, I did with a whiffle ball bat.

    Eve-Hands, I mean paws down.

    Easy E-ODB grosses me the hell out.

    LL- MMMMMMMM

    Jay Z-Ugly trumps self important pricktard, even talented self important pricktard

    B.I.G-What? Okay! (GAH! That would make me off myself)

    Fiddy-Come on wid it. R Kelly needs to go to prison or that mutherfucking closet and stay there and never release another thing. EVER.

    And here is where the problems start. Damn damn damn. They are both cocky and cute. I guess the more talented of the too.

    Luda!

    and last, the Ice:

    Cube because T is doing that walking talking skankified floatation device Coco and has the mirrors by the bed to view it. EWWW.

  3. I have to say, even though I know he can be a complete pompous ass, I have an odd crush on Kanye West.

  4. I laughed my ASS off when I saw the title of this post in my reader. This page couldn’t load fast enough for me to see who you picked for our choices. Ok, I’m rubbing my hands together and diving in…

    1. Dr. Dre. I can’t get with a man that has a nicer manicure than I do (Snoop) and Dre might look mean but I know he’s just a big ol’ teddy bear. He was the first one to jump ship from Death Row Records, after all… and I can’t deny the whole California Love thing!

    2. This was tough for me b/c I love the Beastie Boys. I’m going with Eminem though, and hope that afterwards he won’t murder me and stuff me in his trunk.

    3. Eve, because Lil Kim scares me a little bit. At least her “fashion” scares me. Maybe I can then ask what Eve was thinking when she got those pawprint tattoos.

    4. Easy-E. ODB makes my gag reflex kick in, and not in a good way. Wait, is there a good way?

    5. LL Cool J, 6 ways to Sunday, too. That man is delicious. I could spend hours feeling up his abs alone!

    6. I love Jay-Z. I have to forgive him the whole Beyonce thing, but I still love him. Anyone who can put a sample from Annie in a rap and have it be relevant is ok by me.

    7. I know for SURE I wouldn’t be able to take all that “YEAH”-ing that Lil Jon would bring, so I suppose B.I.G. I assume he’d also tire out a lot faster.

    8. 50 Cent can find ME in da club! I mean, who’s going to pick R. Kelly?

    9. Luda & Nelly? Now you’re breaking my heart in two. I think I’ll pick Luda. He’s just so adorable and is not wearing grills.

    10. Cube for sure! Ice’s wife grosses me out so he’s automatically not an option.

    DUDE, what about Flavor Flav, my inspiration for suggesting this idea? You gotta add him, and whoever goes up against him is who I’m picking. I mean, you could pick ANYONE and they would be my choice!!!

    Jules
    House of Jules

  5. Hey, she’s alive. 🙂

    I have to say, its bloody cold in your city today, especially down by the lake. My ears are numb because I left my touque in the closet at home 🙂

    At any rate:

    1. Snoop, I suppose. He’s skeevy but I imagine he’s fun (and the ad with him playing golf? I can hit better than that)

    2. Beastie Boys. At least with 3 of them we could keep going all night.

    3. Eve – not quite so “out there”. Almost could take her home to meet mom. Almost.

    4. I think I’ll let Bacon pick this one for me since I have no idea who either of them are 🙂

    5. Tupac. Because, well, its Tupac.

    6. Kanye West (although he is an ass)

    7. Notorious BIG – only because Lil Jon doesn’t bode well for that sort of thing.

    8. R. Kelly. No, really.

    9. Ludacris – ’cause it would be fun sleeping with a guy named Ludacruis.

    10. Ice T. Only because I like Law & Order 🙂

    And I agree with Jules – add Flavor Flav because he’s just so ICK. Anyone going up against him would win, without trying. Even Larry King.

  6. My first time to answer the DINAO and I have to say it was a hard one. Basically, cause I am the whitest-non-rhythm-infused person on the planet and think that Will Smith is a master rapper. (And where was Big Willy on this DINAO????) So now that I know that death IS an option AFTER the sex…. here are my answers:

    1. Snoop Dogg (& the wacky ta-ba-key). Cause we all know munchies after sex is good 🙂

    2, Beastie Boys – Again. White girl who knows nothing about rap except that she is definitely going to get No Sleep Til Brooklyn with these boys.

    3. Eve. I love the color pink but that Kim chick made me throw up a little in my mouth.

    4. Easy E. He looks dead and I would seriously be killing myself afterwards on this one.

    5. LL Cool J. You’re either SWAT or your Not. DAMN!! Did you see those abs?!?!?

    6. Kanye – cause the boy looks like he got some skills!

    7.B.I.G. – all that metal in Little Jon’s mouth might hurt a lot.

    8. I was going to say R. Kelly and then I read the other comments & remembered he’s a pedophile. Rock hard body or not ~ that’s gross. I’ll take the 50 cents and make change any day.

    9. I have no idea who either of these guys are. So I’ll just blindfold myself and pick one….Ok, Nelly won.

    10. Ice T ~ only so he could explain to me what the “dum dum” is at the beginning of Law & Order:SVU. After that I would shoot myself and have Chris Maloney try to solve this sex crime 🙂

  7. 1. Dr. Dre – Snoop’s voice can get a little munchkin-ish.
    2. Eminem, but only b/c I like some of his songs.
    3. Eve – Lil Kim looks dirty.
    4. ODB, but only b/c Easy E had AIDS and I wouldn’t want any of that.
    5. LL Cool J – Ooo…this was a no-brainer for me.
    6. Kanye, but he wouldn’t be allowed to speak.
    7. BIG – I wouldn’t want to hear, “Yeeeaaahh!” while we’re doing it.
    8. 50 Cent – I’m too old for R. Kelly.
    9. Nelly – He’s from STL. I live in STL. So, I have to pick him.
    10. Ice T – I love me some Law & Order: SVU. Could I have a 2-fer and get the guy who plays Det. Stabler? 😉

  8. aw, now my feelings got hurt that I didn’t get the link love when I suggested the political DINAO. So I’m not playing this week … I’m sulking instead. 😉

  9. 1. Dre…he’s adorable.
    2. The Beasties! If I was going to have a group sex moment, it might as well be with them.
    3. Eve, most definitely…Lil Kim’s always in jail,I don’t want to have to make conjugal visits.
    4. Ok, both guys are dead…I think I’d still pick Easy E, even with (the) AIDS (as my grandmother calls it) than ODB. Remember when he legally changed his name to Big Baby Jesus??? ha ha, that was great.
    5. This lady loves cool James.
    6. Kayne and if he whined even once, I’d kick him out without cab fare.
    7. Lil’ John, we can get crunk together.
    8. 50 cent. Even though I can barely understand a thing he says I think it’s better than the possibility of getting pissed on.
    9. Luda…he said he wants a lady on the streets and a freak in the bed, he came to the right place.
    10.Cube. I have always had an unhealthy crush on him.

  10. With these choices? I gots to play.

    1. Snooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!
    2. Eminem. But Eminem 10 years ago, not now. Now, bleh.
    3. Eve
    4. Easy E
    5. L.L. fo sho. HL Loves Cool James.
    6. The modest rapper edition. That’s highlarious. And the answer is Kanye. bc Beyonce could kick my ass.
    7. What? Lil Jon.
    8. 50 cent. I don’t care to be urinated on.
    9. LUDACRIS IS THE HOTTNESS.
    10. Ice-T.

  11. Seriously, death is always an option

    1. Dr. Dre – love the arched eyebrow
    2. Beastie Boys
    3. Eve
    4. Easy E – Old Dirty Bastard reminds me of the guy with no teeth that tried to hit on me when we were out drinking
    5. LL Cool J
    6. Kanye – I don’t care – I like him in some weird way
    7. Notorious
    8. 50 Cent – I have to agree that R Kelly should be in jail
    9. Nelly
    10. Ice T – Detective Tutuolo hands down

  12. All I can is stare speechlessly at that picture of Lil Kim. And stare. And stare. I even see her now when I close my eyes. Scarred for life?

  13. By far, this is the hardest edition ever because most rappers, with the exception of Kanye, look like they don’t like to wash very much. And that is kind of a turn off for me. But anyways,

    1. Dre. Snoop is too gangly and just plain ugly.
    2. Slim Shady for reals, yo.
    3. Eve. I could try on her clothes afterwards.
    4. ODB v. Easy E? See what I’m talking about? Dirty!
    5. LL, but probably with my eyes closed the entire time.
    6. Kanye, but he probably wouldn’t care about MY pleasure.
    7. B.I.G. v. Lil Jon? Another filthy combination.
    8. 50 Cent. He raps about gettin it on all the time. He’s got to be good.
    9. Nelly
    10. Ice Cube. Have you seen the whore T is married to. It hurts my eyes to look at her.

  14. The OG Edition
    – Dr. Dre: He looked hot when singing “California knows how to party… in the city…” (Yes, I could keep going.)

    The White Guy Edition
    – Eminem: Good heavens I find him hot. 8 Mile? Yes please.

    The Lady Rapper Edition
    – Eve: She parties with Gwen Stefani, which makes her alright with me.

    The Dead Rapper Edition
    – Easy E: ODB’s grill scares me.

    The Yummy Muscles Edition
    – LL Cool J: No question. I would drizzle some honey on him and go. to. town.

    The Modest Rapper Edition
    – Jay Z: Kanye would spend FAR too much time looking in the mirror and admiring himself… and then talking about how much 50 Cent sucks. Plus, we already know that Jay Z likes the bootylicious girls.

    The I-Can’t-Wait-To-See-What-You-All-Pick Edition
    – Lil Jon: I don’t know why, but I think I would be so entertained by his constant proclamations of “Yeah!” “What?!” “Okay!” that it would make for a great story.

    The Thug Edition
    – 50 Cent: He’s hot, I like his music and R. Kelly is an (alleged) ewwy-creepy child molester.

    The Kristabella’s Favorites (For Their Music) Edition
    – Ludacris: Hometown love from the A-T-L, baby! He’s such an entertaining performer, too!

    The Ice Edition (that I forgot and added later)
    – Ice Cube: He makes me enjoy watching Law & Order.

  15. *** Er, that last one should be Ice T. (DUH!)

  16. I have probably lurking the longest and never respond.. 2 kids + 2 dogs + work full time = can barely keep my eyes open at night to read yet reply.

    Thug at heart like Kristabella (and she knows that) I could not resist replying:

    1. Dr. Dre – after seeing the “Up in Smoke” tour twice, not sure Snoop could keep his eyes open long enough to last.

    2. Eminen – I’ll let him Smack That, but might regret it later and wish I had chosen the Beastie Boys.

    3. Eve – Lil Kim is a bit too nasty for me…although not sure what animal Eve lets climb on her chest

    4. Easy E – ODB is way too crazy for mama

    5. Looks like I am outnumbered here, but have to go wtih Tupac and his California Love

    6. Jay-Z… Kanye might cry if he couldn’t have his way

    7. Biggie Smalls for sure, I’d even call him Big Poppa if he wanted…plus we were born the same year!

    8. Fiddy can take me to his candy shop because mama has a sweet tooth and R Kelly might try to kidnap my kids!

    9. Ludacris because we both like chicken and beer

    10. Ice Cube because I couldn’t touch anyone whose wife’s name is Coco and has a camel toe!

    Peace out!

  17. 1) Dre
    2) Eminem
    3) Eve
    4) Easy E – I thik he might have been considered sexy back in the day?
    5) this Lady Loves Cool J!
    6) Kanye
    7) Yeah!
    8) Fitty
    9) NellyNellyNellyNelly I heartheart Nelly!
    10) Ice Cube

  18. OK, I’m gonna play, but what do I win?

    Here’s my choices, and do I need to give reasons?

    1. Dr. Dre–classier of the two. Or Snoop Dog is just gross.
    2. Beastie Boys–cuz their Brass Monkeys are kinda hot, even though as a sophomore in high school I booed at them when they opened for Madonna’s Virgin tour.
    3. Eve, cuz Lil Kim looks skank.
    4. Easy E cuz Old Dirty Bastard looks like an Old Dirty Bastard.
    5. LL fo SHO, GOING BACK TO CALI a rockin’ cool song to take me back to college, plus, if Death ain’t a option (and yeah, dat’s me tryin’ to talk all rap atcha), ain’t TUPAC dead already?)
    6. Probably Kayne because he is dressed nice.
    7. Notorious BIG because I bet he’s notoriously big, and the other one is probably lil, yanno?
    8. 50 Cent cuz doesn’t he sing that Shake it Like a Polaroid song or one of those songs I might know? Or the Candy Shop? Something I could maybe recognize while he’s doin’ me.
    9. Nelly No QUestion.
    10. Ice-T cuz I saw him at the original Lallapalooza, cuz yea, that’s how old I am.

    OK, how did I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS FUN GAME?

    I’M HOOKED!

  19. I’ve been avoided posting my answers to this one. I think this may be the hardest one yet because like curlatini, I think that a lot of them might be a little smelly.

    1. Dr. Dre – Snoop it too scrawny.
    2. Beastie Boys – Um…there’s three of them. That’s three times the sex and it’s been a long time for me.
    3. Eve – I think Lil Kim might have crabs or something.
    4. Easy E – ralph
    5. LL Cool J – I pretty much have an orgasm every time I see that video where he’s eating the apple and licking his lips.
    6. Kanye – He’s a talented pompous ass.
    7. Lil Jon – Again…a little throw up.
    8. 50 Cent – I don’t mess with pedophiles.
    9. Luda – LOVE him.
    10. Ice T – I’m going with the Law and Order connection on this one too.

    Ugh…torture.

  20. This one was tough! Mostly because I am not so much a rap fan other than the really mainstream stuff.

    -Dr. Dre, because I have SEEN Snoop Dogg Fatherhood on E!

    -Beastie Boys, obvi. We played a lot of Beastie Boys in my freshman dorm room.

    -Lil Kim, because I love her on “Girlicious”

    -Eazy E, because… um… I could never sleep with someone with “bastard” in their name

    -LL Cool J, the classic!

    -Kanye. I do love him.

    -Biggie, another classic!

    -R. Kelly. Creepy, but cute.

    -Nelly–does he even have any big songs these days?

    -Ice T, L&O: SVU, y’all!

  21. 1. Dr. Dre. Snoop is too skinny, plus that particular picture makes him look like one of those wizards who were painted on the side of vans in the 70s.

    2. Eminem, I guess. Two of the three Beasties are better-looking, but if they’re a package deal then I have some concerns about that guy on the far left. He looks like the sort of person who will eventually have the body of a hitchhiker discovered in his trunk.

    3. Eve, by a landslide. I would characterize Li’l Kim’s outfit as “The Gods Threw Up On Me.”

    4. Eazy E. I refuse to sleep with anyone who could potentially e a Bond villain.

    5. LL Cool J, but largely because his acting amuses me.

    6. Kanye West, provided he keeps his mouth shut.

    7. Either one would be motivation to join a nunnery instead. I’ll flip a coin and say B.I.G.

    8. 50 Cent. I’d be somewhat afraid to say no.

    9. Nelly. Ludacris looks like a Ferengi.

    10. Neither makes me cringe. Ice Cube, I guess.

  22. 1. Dre
    2. The Beastie Boys (does that make me slutty?)
    3. Eve
    4. Eazy E
    5. LL
    6. Kanye
    7. BIG
    8. Mr. Cent
    9. Nelly
    10. Ice-T (I actually spoke to him once. He was nice.)


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