Posted by: kristabella | March 10, 2008

My Body Isn’t Quite Sure Of The Time

Why the fuck do we have this whole Daylight Savings Time? Why do I want to save daylight? Daylight needs to be shared and felt and seen. And don’t tell me because energy because when it is dark when I get up and dark when I get home, I’m using power. To light my house. And don’t tell me it is for the farmers. It’s fucking 2008, I think the farmers have the technology to not care about the sun and what the hell time it rises or sets.

Because my body, it gets used to things. It gets used to cookies and pizza and alcohol. And it gets damn used to the time. It knows when it is 6:30 AM. And it knows that even though the alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, it was not 6:30 AM. It was 5:30. And then my body revolts into a series of fits and tantrums. And there is usually crying involved. It’s not pretty. Why do we even have to change it in the fall? Why can’t it be like this all year round? They do it in Arizona. And no one there seems to mind. But that’s probably because their brains melted into a puddle from the HEAT and they don’t even know what month it is, let alone what time it is, but still!

What I’m saying is that I’m tired. And my cats are confused because they want to eat at weird times. But that’s probably not from the time change.

FuckDaylightSavings

So I want to say a big thank you to all of you and your nice comments regarding my little work situation. Things are OK. I think as the weeks go on, it should get less awkward. For right now, I have a hard time talking to anyone. Or looking them in the eye. I’ve resorted to dancing around with a monkey in a tutu to distract all of them from the fact that they are losing their jobs and I am not.

But that didn’t really help. Because they aren’t sure why I was the one they kept.

But I do have some serious Survivor Guilt. It’s not fun. I just try to keep my head down and make it through the day. But this morning in the staff meeting, when the VP was all “how was everyone’s weekend?” had to be one of the most awkward moments in my life.

Well, right after the moment I decided to bring a monkey in a tutu to work.

FuckDaylightSavings

war-child-logo.pngSo I found this out through Candy and Hotfessional, but Peach organized a bunch of bloggers to submit some posts to a blogger compilation book called You Are Not The Only One. And the proceeds are going to help War Child, which is an organization that helps children of the world that have been affected by war. So I not only got to submit some of my writing to possibly be published, I also got to help out a great charity, regardless whether I get published or not.

Submissions were due on Sunday, but I would encourage everyone to go out and buy a copy when it comes out because it helps a great cause and it should be some fantastic writing by fellow bloggers. Of course, if I actually made it, then you’re all REQUIRED BY LAW to go out and purchase it.

FuckDaylightSavings

So I went to Target this weekend and spent my life savings on shit I need and shit I probably don’t need. In my haze of shopping because I was still distraught from the dismantling, I bought a new hair dryer. I actually need a new hair dryer. My current one is making noises that a hair dryer shouldn’t make and I’m starting to wonder if the smoking is a good sign.

Anyway, I picked up this dryer. It was all pink and brown and cute! I don’t get something too cheap since the dryer is essential to my styling regimen. I prefer to only blow dry my straight-ish, limp hair with a round brush to give it a little bit of volume. At least for 20 minutes. And I want my dryer to get nice and warm so that the hair does the things the round brush politely asks of it. And no, don’t talk to me about curling irons and flat irons and anything that will add more time to my routine. I’m already consistently 5-10 minutes late for work in the morning.

(I also realize the smart thing would be to buy a nice professional hair dryer and spend the extra money because it is worth it. But alas, I am cheap and also poor.)

This blow dryer SUCKS. Well, for me at least. One, it doesn’t get hot enough. And the ends of my hair that I want the round brush to curl under REBEL. And there isn’t enough heat to melt the hair follicles into submission. And also, the “low” speed is like the high speed on my previous dryer. And since I don’t have four arms and a swivel head, it blows my hair everywhere and makes my hair a big, fucking rat’s nest. And on top of it, because the hair is blowing ALL OVER, I don’t get that little bit of body that the round brush usually provides from 7:15 – 8:30 AM. And it leaves me in a sad, weepy mess on the floor because WAH! MY HAIR IS FLAT! WHO CARES PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR JOBS? WAH! FLAT HAIR.

Perspective. I has it.

So I hear you all yelling at your computer screens, TAKE IT BACK, FUCKWIT! Ah. Yes. A very smart idea indeed. You are under the impression that I am SMRT. I am NOT. Because I threw away the box because in a momentary lapse in judgment, I threw the box away! Without testing out new dryer! Figuring it is a blow dryer, what’s not to love? In all its pink and brown cuteness? And now I’m suck with this piece of CRAP.

Actually, my mom, who has seen said tantrums live and in person, just offered to buy it from me because she realizes if she doesn’t, every email of every day until I chuck the dryer out the window will start with WAH! FLAT, LIMP HAIR! WAH! And it’s just as annoying in person as it is over email.

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Responses

  1. Seriously…sell me the hair dryer. It will be one less thing for you to have to deal with.

    And you have NEVER adjusted easily to Daylight Savings Time….not since you was born. I really remembered that when you mentioned the crying when the alarm went off.

  2. I was all ready to marry you, but I love DST. LOVE!!!! It is the happiest weekend of the year for me when it changes.

  3. Nothings beats a good hairdryer.

    Better luck next time.

    DST messes me up too. Oh well. Whayagonnado?

    =)

  4. I can’t seem to walk out of Target without spending at least $50.

    WHAT IS THAT? HOW DO THEY DO THAT?

    (I would’ve bought the hair dryer too if it was so cute and pink and brown. OR! If it had glitter. I’m a sucker for glitter.)

  5. You know what? It’s totally okay that bitch Stara won’t marry you over DST because I fucking hate it, so you are all mine baby. 😉

    Seriously what is up with this shit? I can’t even eat properly now. My body knows what time it is supposed to eat and the clocks on the stove and the microwave? THEY FUCKING LIE! BITCHES!

    It is not just ONE HOUR ON THE WEEKEND. It carries on for however long it takes my body to get readjusted oh ho and then we get to do it all over again. GAH STABBY HATE

  6. I, too, hate the DST. With a freaking passion. (And when I first read the first line of your post, I thought you said “this whore Daylight Savings Time?” and not “this whole Daylight Savings Time?” – but really, when you think about it, either is appropriate.)
    Me and CB have both struggled to get out of bed the last two mornings for work – both times have been a bit too far after the 7am mark to comfortably miss traffic. Boo.

  7. I’m going to have to disagree with you on DST… I hate it with a fiery passion in the winter, but I love it in Spring, because we instantly get extra daylight in the evening, and I no longer feel like going to bed at 5pm.

    I am actually quite gutted, because I got all excited about it on Saturday night, warned all of my family to be ready for it … and then found out that it was only happening in the States this week, and we have to wait until March 30th to get our lovely extra daylight. Gah.

  8. Blame DST for everything! Stupid DST.

    Once you’ve recovered from the loss of subpar hair dryer, I just bought a great cheap one that I would recommend. It’s ruby red!

  9. I can relate. I bought this one based on rave makeupalley.com reviews and I’m pretty meh about it (but that could be because I can only use the low setting — high triggers my shittily wired apartment’s circuit breaker).
    My assvice: read reviews on makeupalley and folica.com, and then order from folica or use an ulta coupon.

  10. You might still be able to return it to Target anyway. I was able to return something to Staples that no longer had a box. Tell them it doesn’t get hot and I think they’ll take it back.

    And I like DST enough but I HATE the time change. It is way worse when you are dealing with children and their reaction to it. I think we should just stay on DST the whole year. What’s the point of going back and forth????

  11. I love how your mom was the first to comment. Must have just caught your post during one of her gazillion refreshes during the day 😉 Love you, Mahnee!!

    I think the problem with your new hair dryer is your arms aren’t long enough. Maybe you could start hanging by your wrists at night – see if that helps.

  12. I hate DST, too. Though this year it didn’t seem to bother me so much. I must be getting old. Can I tempt you with flat iron. Only takes me 10 minutes to dry my hair and then 10 minutes to flat iron…come over to the dark side….

  13. Dude…I have that hair dryer (I also bought it because of the cuteness) but I LOVE it. I take it with me when I travel because I don’t want to have to use other people’s. I bet it will grow on you. Do you do the whole blow your hair dry upside down thing? That helps with the flatness.

  14. I HEART DST.

    I am a morning person, I get up at 5am, I work 9 hour days, earning an extra hour each day, and when i need time off, after just three weeks of work I get two days off gratis without taking my vacation time. So i get home at 4:30 PM, and its still sunny for some 2-4 hours. Go swimming, whatever. I hate it when DST ends, then its night to night. But for me, DST is marked on my calendar like my wife’s birthday and our anniversary.

    You on the other hand dont sound like you like sunlight at all, not a morning person, not a day person. You need a job in all night sports talk radio or on WLS midnight shift. Then you can drink before work, work, then sleep all day long.

  15. I got a professional hair dryer for Christmas one year and it was the best gift ever, even if I did have to request it. Throw in some Bumble and Bumble product and voila! Lovely hair. Take that, humidity.

  16. I HATE DST.

    I lose an hour’s sleep.

    It’s DARK when I get up now.

    My body clock is ALL MESSED UP.

    FuckDaylightSavings . . . *sigh*

  17. You have a way with words. Hilarious! I love the monkey in a tutu comment. Still laughing. Kind of crying. But not in a limp hair kind of way. Because I love my (cheap) Revlon hair dryer. And my natural curls. Boo. Did I mention I can be mean? Boo squared. Clearly, your mom will do a better job than I at alleviating your concern over your new dryer and overly limp hair.

  18. You need to thank your lucky stars you didn’t lose your job. The economy is crap right now. The job market follows suit.

    Don’t feel survivors guilt! Be happy you still have a job and can afford to pay your bills!

  19. I hate the time changing back and forth. I feel like it’s fine just the way it is now. Just leave it. Can we do that?

  20. Yeah, my alarms at 430 yesterday and 500am today were just cruel. And I like nighttime so I am ok when it’s dark early. There was a study I heard about that said it can take weeks to get used to DST in the spring.

  21. DST sucks! The dogs are all weirded out by the time and now one will eat and one won’t! Being early/late for everything, seriously, why can’t we be like Arizona? Except not hot!

  22. I don’t use my hair dryer anymore (trying to save energy, earth resources, etc) but I understand your plight. What you need is a Remington Wet to Straight hair straightener. You can get it at target, it’s about $25 and you can use it on wet hair. Just warm it up while you put your make up on. It’s awesome, I love mine. When I use it. Lol.

  23. I am so glad I read about that dryer! I have been needing a new one for about 12 years, (yes, since I was in high school, sheesh) and I am just not into spending a couple of hundred bucks on that crap, but I also don’t need flat fuzzy hair!
    DST: I hate it! it jacks me all up for about a week, and I end up like your cats: hungry at odd hours.

  24. I hate DST, I just hate it.

    As for the dryer, if you can’t get rid of it, either save it as your emergency back-up dryer or save it for your house guests.

  25. Dude, I have never, and will never, understand the whole daylightsavingstime thing! As for us here in AZ, it’s hard to remember which parts of the country are how many hours ahead & behind you during which time of year?!!! grrrrrrrrrrr

  26. I wish we would just stay on Daylight Savings Time all year. It’s the best. Neither Arizona or Hawaii observe DST, so maybe you should move to one of those states.


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