Posted by: kristabella | February 14, 2008

DINAO Round 3 – The Heartthrob Edition

So I’ve been a tad non-existent on here the last few days. I’m battling a severe case of the winter blahs. Probably because is like a real Chicago winter and not one I’ve been used to for quite some time. Like when I was 12. Why did I move back from California?

I’m tired of the cold. I’m tired of wearing my ugly boots that do NOT go with anything I own. I’m tired of hat head and wearing a hat in general because I look like a fool. I’m tired of ice. I’m tired of brushing snow off my car every morning. I’m tired of you, Winter. You can go suck on some donkey’s balls.

I’ve also been mad busy at work which is causing me to have some weird stomach pains, which I have self-diagnosed as an ulcer or cancer. One of the two. It’s like some sort of alien baby is going to bust out of my gut and do a dance on the table a la Space Balls. And then add on to it my sudden onset of Narcolepsy and all of a sudden, you have cvndas’lbv f0ew-at4u29 jgdkla;mfke;wGNRWIPabnk’NGIRWPO][J’H.

Sorry. There was a bout of it right there. I can’t get enough sleep lately. This, too, I blame on winter. You know you’re in Chicago if people are blaming things on the weather. Bad knees? Winter. Runny nose? Winter. Third nipple? Winter.

And sadly it is only February 14th. That’s a lot more winter days. Two words – De Pressing.

On top of all that whiny, woe is me bullshit, my damn tooth is hurting me again. That means, yet again, the dentist got it wrong. FAIL.

So to warm me up, I have decided to make this week’s Death Is Not An Option the Heartthrob edition. In honor of all things cold and wintry. And also because it’s Valentine’s Day or something. Which only means it isn’t a day off from work and that my mom sends me a card because I’m sad and pathetic. But you know what? Pity money pays for the wine the same as regular money.

So on with the show!

(Refresher for any newbies is here and here. Feel free to vote for past rounds. We had a tie in the first round that Lizarita recently broke for me.)

Round 3

The Pirates of the Caribbean Edition

Johnny Depp vs. Orlando Bloom

depp.jpg     bloom.jpg

The Good Will Hunting Edition

Ben Affleck vs. Matt Damon

ben-affleck.jpg     matt-damon2.jpg

The Aussie Edition

Russell Crowe vs. Hugh Jackman

crowe.jpg     jackman.jpg

The Just Because They Are Hot Edition

Matthew McConaughey vs. Ryan Phillipe

mcconaughey.jpg     phillipe.jpg

The America’s Sweetheart Edition

Julia Roberts vs. Reese Witherspoon

julia.jpg     reesewitherspoon2.jpg

The Kate Edition

Kate Winslet vs. Kate Beckinsale

katewinslet.jpg     katebeckinsale.jpg

The Gossip Girl Edition

Chace Crawford (Nate) vs. Penn Badgley (Dan)

chace-crawford.jpg     penn-badgley.jpg

The Entourage Edition (aka easy choice for Jules)

Adrian Grenier vs. Jeremy Piven

adrian-grenier.jpg     jeremy-piven.jpg

The Hot Musician Edition

John Mayer vs. Adam Levine

john-mayer.jpg     adam-levine.jpg

The Grey’s Anatomy Edition

McDreamy vs. McSteamy

dempsey.jpg     dane.jpg

So there you have it. A perfect way to end a week. And warm up all your insides.



  1. Orlando
    Matt Damon
    Russell Crowe
    Matthew McConaughey
    Penn Badgley

    Jeremy Piven!!! (MY HUSBAND!!)

    Adam Levine

    House of Jules

  2. Johnny

  3. matt damon.
    i used to think quite seriously that if matt damon just knew me, he’d love me. i almost saw him once in rochester, minn. he was hanging out near the barnes and noble where i worked.

  4. Hooray, this just melted my cold winter heart!

    J. Depp
    Matt Damon
    Hugh Jackman
    Ryan Phillipe (although I don’t care for either)
    Penn (I don’t know these people, but by GOD he is smoking)
    Adam Levine

  5. It was not a pity Valentine!
    Matthew – THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Penn – young hottie!
    McDreamy – no contest!

  6. I know. I’m sick of winter too. Definitely ready for Spring. Oh, and I’ve been blaming every bad thing on winter too.

    ~Matt – this was a hard one, but I’ve had a MAJOR crush on Matt since Good Will Hunting.~
    ~Russell – I wouldn’t want my man to start going all Fosse on me.~
    ~Matthew – Ryan broke Reese’s heart.~
    ~Reese – Julia would be fun too.~
    ~Kate W. – She seems a lot nicer than the other Kate.~
    ~John – Although, he makes sex faces when he sings…wich is kind of a turn off.~
    ~McDreamy – without a doubt!~

  7. So many awesome people to choose from Ugh Can I just take them all!?!

  8. This one was HARD. Okay. Here we go:
    -Depp’s teeth kinda creep me out. I’m going with Bloom.
    -Damon. Hands down.
    -Crowe is a dick. And as long as Jackman doesn’t grow those weird wolverine sideburns, I’ll do him.
    -Mattie all the way baby!
    -Can we make this a threesome? I love them both more than a fat kid loves cake.
    -I have no idea who either of these people are. But Crawford is HOTT!
    -Levine. But only if he sings “Sunday Morning” when we’re finished.
    -I’m probably the only person on the planet that doesn’t watch GA. I’ll go with McSteamy.

  9. You know the answer to the first one, my dear Johnny
    -I’m fucking Matt Damon
    -I gotta go with Hugh (even with the gay speculation)
    -Ryan (Matt M seems to be a dick and a stinky one-hot though damn him)
    -Kate B (mmmmmm Underworld HOT)
    -I don’t watch this show so Dan?
    -John (please let him have the good hair and not the mongrel dog hair)
    -McSteamy (too many memories of McDreamy as nerdy boy in Can’t Buy Me Love or Pizza Delivery boy in that other movie)

  10. Okay…

    Matt – but only because I want to sing the I’m Fucking Matt Damon song. Trust me, I would sing it at the top of my lungs.
    I’m going to have to say Ryan because if Matthew says things like “We made a baby” in the press, he’s got to be more of an idiot in bed
    Kate Beckinsale
    Adam Levine

  11. Orlando
    Matthew (with duct tape over his mouth)
    Kate Winslet
    Adrian (I’ll leave Jeremy for Jules)

  12. Orlando
    Matthew (only after he takes a bath)
    Adrian (I know better than to pick Pivs)
    McDreamy (of course)

  13. Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!
    Matt. I usually take dark over blond any day. But Mr. Bourne gets me with that sexy mole near his mouth. Yum.
    Yes! Either or, please. Gotta love the Aussies.
    Ryan Phillipe. Matthew needs to tone it down a tad. He’s everywhere. And he’s always shirtless.
    Reese – she’s naturally beautiful.
    Kate-Dub. Yeah for women with curves!
    Adam. He’s an “older and wiser” quiet sexy.

  14. Ooh, this is such a good one! Here we go:
    Orlando–why I love Johnny, Orlando just seems cleaner.
    Matt–he didn’t sleep with J-Lo
    Russell–he’s a dirtbag, but I’d bang him for sure
    Matthew–I’d like to play his bongos!
    Reese–Julia’s too Hollywood
    Beckinsale–she’s always been one of my girl crushes!
    Penn–Chace is prettier than me
    Adrian–ohh, his hair!
    Adam–the faces John makes when he sings scare me
    McSteamy–we share the same last name! well, my maiden name at least

  15. I’m starting an I Hate Winter club. I think I will burn my scarf and gloves when it FINALLY warms up.

    This one was hard because I would answer both to most of these….
    Johnny Depp-so brooding and mysterious
    Matt Damon-I’ve loved him for-ev-er
    Hugh Jackman-Wolverine!
    Kate Winslet-Love her
    Penn Badgley
    Adrian Grenier
    John Mayer-Oh.My.God

  16. – Johnny Depp vs. Orlando Bloom
    Johnny Depp. Anyone who can turn a lover tattoo into “Wino Forever” wins my heart. (Side note… my favorite name for a wine store is “Wine Knows.” Say it out loud and snort along with me.)

    – Ben Affleck vs. Matt Damon
    Ben Affleck. He’s been my #1 on my get-out-of-jail free card since high school.

    – Russell Crowe vs. Hugh Jackman
    Hugh Jackman. So I can have my Wolverine fantasies. (What, TMI?)

    – Matthew McConaughey vs. Ryan Phillipe
    Gotta go with the former MamaPop Mascot, Matthew McConaughey.

    – Julia Roberts vs. Reese Witherspoon
    It’s all about Julia here. I’m not a fan of blondes. I don’t know why.

    – Kate Winslet vs. Kate Beckinsale
    Kate Winslet. Good heavens, she’s gorgeous. If I could have her figure, I’d be eternally happy.

    – Chace Crawford (Nate) vs. Penn Badgley (Dan)
    Eh, I don’t know. They both look way too young and way to “perfect,” especially Chace who probably plucks his eyebrows more than me. Fine, I’ll choose Penn.

    – Adrian Grenier vs. Jeremy Piven
    Jeremy Piven. It’s the dirty-boy thing. (Adrien is too dirty, what with the Parisite Hilton thing.)

    – John Mayer vs. Adam Levine
    John Mayer. Adam Levine just squicks me out.

    – McDreamy vs. McSteamy
    McSteamy. Again, we’re talking about who we’d get it on with… and something tells me, he’s pretty fantastic.

  17. 1. Johnny Depp…Orlando is a mere boy in Johnny’s presence.
    2. Ben…I hate blonds, sorry Matt I know you’re disappointed you don’t get a shot with me.
    3. Russell, he’s such a man…we could throw telephones at each other’s head and then have brilliant make up sex and nurse the goose eggs on our heads afterwards.
    4. Matthew…I don’t do cheaters
    5. Reese…I have a severe loathing for all things Julia Roberts. Reese is probably a bitch (just a feeling I get) but I won’t have the urge to feed her carrots like I would with Jules.
    6. Beckinsale–she’s everything I dream of being…while I sit here with my hair unkempt and wearing a hoodie
    7. They both look like they might want to raid my makeup bag a little too much for my liking. I pick Chase because the other one has duck lips.
    8. Adrian. He’s adorable
    9. Ick, they both make me want to run and get an AIDS test. I’ll take Adam because John Mayer’s lips are too purple-y…and that means that his penis will be too purple-y, kids I was a slut in my former days and it’s a proven fact that purple lips equal similar colors down below!
    10. I will take them both! Oh no, I can’t? well then I’ll take McSteamy…even though he’s a little blonder than I like.

  18. Johnny – the tiebreaker was that I’ve been in love with him since 21 Jump Street. Orlando – In love with him for a shorter time
    HUGH – I luf him!
    Kate dub (props JR)
    Chace? They both look like they are 12!

  19. Depp
    Reese- I HATE JULIA ROBERTS. Remember that time I told you about the company that threated to sue me? She’s a spokesperson.
    Uh? Chace? Don’t watch that sow.
    Piven (Both are totally gross to me though)
    Levine- Why do people think John Mayer is hot???

  20. Johnny (of course)
    Matt Damon (although I like Ben much more in the post-Jennifer Garner years)
    Ryan (although, admittedly, I’d probably ask him mid-deed, “So, really, what happened with you and Reese?”)
    Kate W. (because one of my all-time favorite movies was Sense and Sensibility)
    Penn (his name is PENN which is awesome, no?)
    Adrian (although, if it were Ari and not Jeremy, I’d be seriously conflicted)

  21. Johnny (I am a sucker for 21 Jumpstreet)
    Matt Damon (Affleck squicks me out – I think its the squinty eyes)
    You mean I have to choose between Russell Crowe and Hugh Jackman? You’re evil. Hugh, I suppose.
    Matt McConahey if I had to pick one (really, neither do anything for me)
    Jeremy Piven
    Andrew Levine

    Generally, I like them dark. But Affleck does NOTHING for me.


  22. Somehow that formatting got messed up. It can’t be the wine. Nope.

  23. Johnny

    Love your attitude! 🙂

  24. Orlando
    Matt Damon
    Hugh (YUM)
    Matthew McConaughey… although, poor Ryan. I would have picked him if he were up against pretty much anyone else!!
    Kate Winslet
    Chace, I suppose. Who are these two?
    Jeremy Piven
    John Mayer

  25. – Johnny Depp (I think OB is totally feminine looking; I am also alright with being alone in this opinion).

    – Matt Damon

    – Hugh Jackman (Wow, NO competition on this one. . I find RC completely unattractive).

    – Matthew McConaughey

    – Reese Witherspoon

    – Kate Beckinsale

    – Chace Crawford

    – Adrian Grenier

    – John Mayer

    – McDreamy

    Fun game!

  26. Johnny – because there’s something about all that black eye makeup …
    Ben – because I have a soft spot for him.
    Hugh – because he’s a family man. (and doesn’t throw phones at people.)
    Matthew – because he is a caveman.
    Reese – because she’s beautiful.
    Beckinsale – because she’s beautifuller.
    Penn – because he’s tall, dark & handsome.
    Piven – because the other one is linked to paris.
    McDreamy – because … oh i don’t know. can’t I have both?

  27. Oh the hotness.

    As long as McDreamy is on the page I can’t focus on any other people on there. I loooove him!

  28. omg…what?




    winter? what time is it? where am I?

    don’t let this dreamy post every be over…..

  29. Okay, tag, you’re it!

  30. Is it too late for me to vote? Good.

    Johnny Depp, unless Orlando decides to die his hair blonde for me, and wear elf ears.

    Ben Affleck. He’s the brains of that combo.

    Russell Crowe. Hugh Jackman is gay.

    Matthew McConaughey. Yummmm.

    Julia Roberts. Cause I love her.

    Kate Winslet. Cause she’s real.

    Chase Crawford, even though I have no idea who he is and I would probably end up in jail for statutory rape.

    Jeremy Piven. If Jules doesn’t kill me.

    Adam Levine. Because John Mayer is an ass.

    And McSteamy. Because. Just because…

  31. Orlando. The Deppster is too fey for me.

    Matt… the dimples, they get me!

    Hugh, can’t deal with Russell’s anger issues.

    Matthew, CAN deal with a loopy hippie boy. Bring on the bongos!

    Reese, I just love her.

    Winslet, cause she is SO good at acting

    PENN! Dan Humphrey 4 Life!

    Grenier… although I have a friend who went to hs with him and she says he’s a douche

    Mayer, cause Levine probs has more STDs (they’ve both done J. Simp, though!)

    And, of course, McDreamy. duh.

  32. Depp

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