Posted by: kristabella | February 11, 2008

There’s A Hole In The Bucket

Where bucket = head because any coherent, creative thought has seeped out of my brain into a puddle on the floor that I think I just cleaned up with the last pile of cat puke. Because you would think that as a cat, you would know better than to eat your own hair or the cat litter strewn outside the litter box.

Cat’s response: Maybe you should clean up this stuff and FEED US so I’m not forced to eat my own hair!

Rebuttal from Kristabella: You’d eat your own hair no matter what I put in front of you. This you have proven. And you have no opposable thumbs. So there! HA!

Cat: Opposable thumb this, bitch! (Cat attempts to flip off Kristabella but gets distracted by a piece of lint.)

Kristabella: Case. Closed.

But apparently my cat does NOT realize this and still does it on a constant basis, even though she ends up puking it all up mere hours later.

Did I ever tell you that when my cat pukes, she shakes her head like she’s screaming at a KISS concert? Because she does. It’s like some evil spirit inhabits her body and the only way to get it out is through violently shaking her head back and forth spewing liquid out of her mouth. And it makes for one hell of a mess to clean up.

Did I just spend two whole paragraphs writing about cat puke? New low, I have hit it.

~~~~~

Has anyone seen the show Free Radio on VH1? (Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t somehow secretly brainwashed to watch everything this channel broadcasts because it is ridiculous what shows I will watch if they show it. Scott Baio? Check. Bret Michaels? Check. Flavor of Love? Check. Salt n Pepa? Check. Paint dry? Check.) So Free Radio, I don’t get it. It’s not a real radio show, right? It’s sketch comedy? But then why do all these famous people go on there? I mean, I know Keifer just got out of the clink, but he’s kind of a big star. Is there nothing else to do during the Writer’s Strike? Can someone please explain to me why I like this show?

~~~~~

So I’m sure you’ve all heard about Neil at Citizen of the Month’s Great Interview Experiment. If not, go here and check it out. But first get out from underneath that rock you’re under.

I had the pleasure to interview Incurable Insomniac and she has her answers posted up here. She’s such a fascinating person and has led such an interesting life. And has made quite a life for herself as a band geek. I really enjoyed reading through her blog to learn more about her. And his experiment worked, because I found a blog that I probably wouldn’t have normally stumbled on to.

Go check it out! And sign up to be interviewed, if you haven’t already!

~~~~~

I’m on babysitting duty this weekend. Which means one thing. It means the kids will be going to bed at 4 PM and I will be playing Wii until they get up the next morning. And by then, I think I’ll be good enough to beat my five-year old nephew. Actually, he’s almost six.

So since this has gone on too long, I give you photos of my niece and nephew. Because at this point, it’s about all that can salvage this post.

noah_auntie.jpg

For the love of Christ, Auntie, can’t you see I’m coloring? Just for making me STOP to take a photo, I’m going to make a skeleton face.

skyler_auntie.jpg

See here, Auntie? These what they call words. And we read them. Do you know how to spell read? It’s M-O-R-O-N.

skyler_box.jpg

Dirty Face Johnson. Just like her Auntie. The strange thing is I put empty boxes on my head too. Usually after I finish the wine.

skyler.jpg

Skyler’s first rule of fashion: One must always look fabulous in heels, tiara and purse, even when watching Dora the Explorer on Sunday morning.

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Responses

  1. Your cat is evil, but then, so is mine. They hate that we have opposable thumbs — it conflicts with their megalomania.

    Thanks again for the great interview.
    Steph

  2. Do your cat’s eyes glow, too? That’s another good way of telling if an animal is possessed or not. 🙂

  3. I do believe our pets are ingrained with the ability to make the largest mess in the shortest amount of time, especially when they are puking.

    Once I thought I was saving myself a mess when the puppy started to puke, I grabbed her and ran to the bathroom sink. She puked, finished and I put her down and rinsed the sink. Now, you are thinking, how much puke can there be, she’s a 5 pound puppy, right? Well, it was enough to F**K up the pipes and I had to call a plumber the next day. Yeah, saved myself a crapload of work there, didn’t I?

  4. You are going to have a fun weekend =)

    The cat thing? A Priest maybe? Hey, it worked fo Linda Blair.

  5. I’m sure you’ll have fun babysitting…actually, you’ll have fun with the Wii. My arms are still sore from playing it last weekend. (Hey, I’m old!) I just can’t believe how much trouble I had with Wii baseball. Tough!!!!!

  6. Cute kids and cat puke salvage anything.

  7. My cat doesn’t do the head shaking thing.

    She does sit on laminate in the dining room and puke on the carpet in the living room.

    And personally, I don’t see what’s wrong with going to bed at 4pm. Tell you what, you can bring the Wii over here, practise all you want, and I’ll go to bed. The only thing is, if the cat pukes, you have to clean it up 🙂

  8. So not missing the cat puke…

    Your niece and nephew are the cutest little things!!

  9. I do love your cat conversations. Possibly too much.

    My parents cats always aim for the rug rather than the tile; it’s like they know it will be much harder to clean up there and they can take their vengeance on us for not serving them Fancy Feast.

  10. Yea soooo can’t do the cat puke clean up…gag!
    Kids are getting so big wow. Have a blast with the wii

  11. My dog cleans up all of the cat puke.

  12. A wii filled weekend sounds awesome!

  13. And *that* is why I haven’t replaced the bf with an animal yet.
    Yes, he pukes (mostly when I “force” him to do a shot of tequila with me), but at least he does it outside… granted, that may be while walking down the street to our car (in front of a cop car, no less), or running out to the patio of the bar we’re at, but hey, I’m not responsible for cleaning him up.

  14. Ah yes, pet vomit. Lola likes to puke on our couch, right next to the blanket that was put there to catch all her pukiness. Thanks, Lola, thanks.

  15. Such cute kids!

  16. Of course I’VE totally seen Free Radio because … just because. I can’t figure it out either. I was like, maybe it’s a hybrid? Half-fake, half-real? Because the stuff with the program manager seems fake but the actors’ reactions seem real. I was gonna Google it. Maybe I will now.

  17. Pets dont live as long as kids, and well, you cant ever get a kid sent to a rescue society LOL

    Then your kid may turn up to be another Britney Spears, and then the nightmares continue well past 18. (I didnt say adult, since she isnt an adult, wont ever be even after she is 40)

    I liked you losing job post, but you can post there on that site. i guess its one of those read it and weep blogs.

    yeah, I have been fired 5 times in my 30 odd years, and you know, it wasnt so bad, and in fact in hindsight I liked each and every one. The second time, i was working at a place where we called someone an optimist that brought his lunch to work with him. We had candy jars filled with TUMS, and the monday morning senior staff meetings were called “face ripping sessions”. ,The second time it was the senior staff at this oil company I was at, and after they gave us the news, and the severance packages, we were all in the conference room having a blast doing high-fives, belly bumps, they had to come in and tell us to keep it down, we were making it hard on the buttwipes that were still forced to stay there.

    As you now know, its not like they are taking away your birthday.

  18. Hey, wearing a tiara makes everything look good, even sweats when you’re doing laundry!

  19. Those chillin’s are so darned cute!

  20. Kristabella, Kristabella, I could go on and on about cat puke. Mine is a big puker. Some are easier for me to clean up than others. Sometimes I can smell the smell but can’t find the pile, and I know he “cleaned it up” himself. I never had a pukey cat growing up so this has been super fun.
    We went out of town for the holidays and a friend’s relatives stayed in our house. She told me that the cat had diarrhea on her nephew’s pillow and I quote, “next to my poor nephew’s sleeping head!” I suspect it was actually puke, but I am having trouble looking at this friend in the face now! How embarrassing!

  21. I cannot get the visual of your cat out of my head!

    Sick.

    And kind of funny.

  22. I’m loving the captions on your pics, soo funny!

  23. L-O-V-E the tiara. and the purse. and the shoes.

    Waaaaaaaaaaay cute!

  24. There was a song we sang in elementary school that went “There’s a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza”… OK anyways, those little kids are the cutest!

  25. Cleaning cat litter can be a very annoying, one way to over come this problem is by using cat litters. There are many types of cat litters you can choose from like self cleaning. Thank you.


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