Posted by: kristabella | February 3, 2008

That’s What You Get For Leaving Your Pregnant Girlfriend

So the Giants won. Sorry to anyone who didn’t watch the game and may be living in a bubble. I just ruined it for you.

This was the first Super Bowl in a long time (maybe ever) where I couldn’t care less. I hated both teams so much, that I wished both could lose. And that both quarterbacks could have their legs snapped in half. Because Tom Brady dumped his hot pregnant girlfriend for a model. All the while forgetting that he is gay and that Gisele is just a beard.

But then I found myself rooting for the Giants and Eli. Well, not Eli. Just the Giants. Otherwise I’d spend half the night vomiting my chili back up into my toilet. And that is no way to spend Super Bowl Sunday.

And now football is over until the fall. And that is always a sad time for me. Well, at least until April when baseball season starts. And I can consume beer again under some sort of sports/social veil rather than just being a damn alcoholic.


So I ended up having a snow day on Friday. I don’t know if it was necessarily a snow day. I was told I didn’t have to come in. Not that I was planning on it anyway. We got about 10 inches and most of that came down in the early morning and continued on until the afternoon. It was a wet, sloppy mess in Chicago on Friday. And by the time I would have shoveled my car out of its parking spot, it would have been time to leave work anyway.

And it is currently snowing right now. So Monday morning should be fun times.


I made it to the doctor. And I got that bump thing taken out of my lip. So now I’ve got a few stitches and look like I went a few rounds with Lennox Lewis. Or like I got some lip injections. And my doctor is also a plastic surgeon, so maybe I just convinced him that while I was there…

No. Just a plugged mucus seal was removed. And a salivary gland or something. He was all proud of it and kept showing it to me. And since he was just the cutest thing, and I needed him to sew up the gash in my lip, I amused him. Plus I couldn’t stop staring dreamily into his eyes. He was so cute. It was like my own version of McSteamy.

He also told me that I have a deviated septum. My nose is crooked or something. So I was all “now I can get a nose job and just tell everyone I didn’t get a nose job, that I just had a deviated septum. You know, like all the celebrities do.” And then I laughed like a crazed hyena.

I learned this is not the right thing to say to an actual plastic surgeon. He said that all his nose job patients tell everyone that they had a deviated septum and that was what required surgery. But this was after he touched my nose and was all “you don’t need a nose job.”

I was waiting for him to add “because your nose is just cute as a button. It’s so cute that if you were a few years younger, I’d play the whole ‘got your nose’ game with you.”

He didn’t add that. I was a tad disappointed.

This was no way to get this cute plastic surgeon to marry me.

Which was a moot point when later, as he was making fun of my book, his nurse mentioned something about his wife.

But I was still sweet as pie to him because he was sticking a needle in my gum and cutting open my lip.

So I’m all good. I’m hoping my lip looks a little better tomorrow.


I got my hair done this weekend. I had her darken up the color since it was starting to fade. And then I told her that I maybe wanted a new cut. Maybe something shorter.

She gave me the Katie Holmes bob. Minus Suri’s bangs. I loved it when I left the salon. But now I’m not liking it so much. I think it makes my face look fat.

I’ll take some photos when I charge the batteries in my camera. But it seriously looks like this. It’s like a longer version of Posh’s bob. It’s like a reverse mullet. It’s longer in the front, shorter in the back.


Now I just need big sunglasses.

Pictures tomorrow. I promise. Because I’m sure you won’t sleep a wink until see my new haircut.


At what time is it appropriate to go downstairs and yell at the pot smokers that their band practice has to come to an end? Because the cats can’t even lay on the floor without being bounced up and down from all the bass. It’s nearly 10 PM and I’m about to brandish my broom handle at them like the crazy cat lady that I am.



  1. Cute haircut! Does it take away from your lip?
    Also, tell the pot smokers if they are going to play that late, they need to share the weed, you and the cats really need to get a buzz on!

  2. KJ: It just took me 2 hours to get from my sister’s house back home, which is a total of 15 miles. The roads in the Chi-town burbs are a mess, to put it lightly, so I hope that by morning the city streets are nothing like what I just went through. I can’t imagine what you’ll be dealing with when you have to dig out your car. Last week I couldn’t even open my door because the snow drifts were up higher than the bottom, and though I could lift the handle and pull, it only opened about 5″. I’m over winter, can you tell? Anyway, looking forward to photos of your new hair, your new lip, your new nose and your new husband!
    House of Jules

  3. Don’t forget that this is also comeuppance for Randy Moss who is just a plain old BAD PERSON (spoken as a Vikings fan, believe me, I know). I think Tom Brady is a bad man and Randy Moss is a bad man and therefore they deserved to lose.

    Also, I guess the Giants are currently my local team.

    Either way, I’m glad we got such an exciting finish.

  4. I love the Katie/Posh bob – would quite like one of those myself, except I’m a coward when it comes to haircuts and have had the same cut since… oooh, forever. Anyway, yes, we need the pictures.

    Also: I was getting quite exicted by the story about the doctor. Who knew plugged mucus seals could be so almost-romantic?

  5. Boo to the Patriots losing. BOO. I can’t believe I made DIP and they still lost. I am pissy about it.

    Some hair pictures might cheer me up though.

  6. Since I was lucky enough to witness the unveiling of the new “do”, I can tell you that it does NOT make your face look fat. I LOVE it!!!

    Sorry, but I can’t like those Manning boys and am not happy that the Giants won at all. I did enjoy texting you during the game and comparing notes on the giant penis at the start of the half time show. Arrow my ass…it was a penis.

  7. The sports bar I was at, were all rooting (well most all) for the Giants. It wasa good time!

    I just had my hair cut like that too. It was fine when I left the salon, but it’s still taking me longer in the morning to get ready because I am not used to having to “style” my hair.

    I’ll watch for your photos =)

  8. I was waiting for him to add “because your nose is just cute as a button. It’s so cute that if you were a few years younger, I’d play the whole ‘got your nose’ game with you.”

    That line alone had me spitting water on my laptop this morning.

    Good luck with handling that band.

  9. I had a deviated septum and had the surgery BUT I totally did not have rhinoplasty. My nose returned to look exactly like it did prior, once it was no longer square. All those celebrities lie!

    I was thinking about getting that haircut because the sister in law I can’t stand went and got my exact hair cut but I don’t want my face looking fat. I am anxiously awaiting your pictures, actually.

  10. “Well, at least until April when baseball season starts. And I can consume beer again under some sort of sports/social veil rather than just being a damn alcoholic.”


  11. Cute hair can’t wait to see a picture. I’m so over winter at this point if it didn’t snow again for 10 years I’d be ok with that.

    Oh, McSteamy…yum!

  12. Yep, Giselle is exactly why they lost. She’s the Brazilian Jessica Simpson!

    Charge the damn batteries, I want to see.

    And I was so figuring that he would play gotcher nose. damn.

  13. It is snowing here right now. A lot. As in it is going to take me several hours to get home tonight. Boo.

    I have never had a cute doctor! I am jealous.

  14. Oooh, can’t wait to see the pictures! I think I’ll go for the Katie Holmes cute when I finally chop off my hair, but I want to see it on you first 🙂 Hope your lip is healing well, hon!

  15. Too many segues…no idea how to comment…need coffee…

  16. I am glad that the Patriots lost. I’m finally glad that people are off their knees with how wonderful he is. The only thing that kept him looking so wonderful this year was an O-line that kept him protected. As everyone saw in that game, once you take the O-line out of the picture (way to make it happen, Giants-D!), you have a shaken-up QB that doesn’t know how to take a hit.

    I mean, c’mon… the last time his protection failed on him, he ended up with a baby. (Bah-dum!)

    Oh, and I’m looking forward to pics, too. My hair is in the growing-out stage (below the shoulders), from a chop that I took to it years ago… I’m afraid to go back, but oh-so tempted when it comes to styling in the mornings after gym-time.

  17. We just might be haircut twins… I got the Posh-like do in October, and loved it enough to have it repeated for two haircuts since.

    Can’t wait to see your pics. I bet it looks fab, especially with proof from Mahnee!

  18. Looking forward to the haircut photos!

    The snow is finally melting here in Central Illinois, but – – the FOG is sheer HELL! Visibility is near zero – – very eerie, and more than a little dangerous driving.

  19. You CAN’T talk about new hair and then not show pictures straight after. Come on … let’s see!

  20. Your title is exactly what I said to my husband at the close of the game!

  21. Yes, don’t forget pictures!

    And I’m so so glad that football is over. I hate all sports now with a fiery passion only because Eric is a total nutjob with the sports. Although I drink my weight in Jager bombs yesterday at a Super Bowl Party.

  22. so all the crack snorting finally caught up to your septum? i hate when that happens! and i also hate rodney harrison with a passion, so i’m glad he was the “defender” on pretty much the 2 biggest plays of the game. suck it, rodney!

  23. Best blog title in the history of the world.

  24. Need to see the fat lip WITH the new hair cut. Come on…

  25. reverse mullet–ha ha!

  26. Oooo love the hair.

  27. Brady’s an idiot. What more needs to be said? I don’t blame him for the team’s loss, but in interviews, the guy is really an idiot.

  28. I think Tom Brady got what he deserves! Ha! My hubby is a New Yorker, so he was thrilled, as for me, my heart is in Cleveland…pathetic I know, I blame my father.

  29. I was rooting for Grey to win the Super Bowl…not the GIants, Grey!;)

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