Posted by: kristabella | January 6, 2008


So this coming weekend, I’m going over to my stepmom’s for the weekend to watch the house and make sure my three half-sisters don’t burn it down or throw some wild and crazy raging party. And if they do, I’m sure I’ll embarrass all of them by calling it a “rager” because that’s just how I roll.

My stepmom and her boyfriend are going on vacation for a long weekend. And yes, I realize all of you just went, “wait, your stepmom and her boyfriend?” Which, I didn’t realize was weird until a few of my friends were like “yes, that’s weird.” Well, they only said that because they didn’t know my dad and my stepmom were no longer together. They also didn’t know my dad was dead. But that’s neither here nor there.

So they are going away for the weekend and leaving the kids on their own. Except the kids are 19, 17 and 15. So, well, they might need some supervision. She is worried about them throwing parties, etc., so I’m there to throw the hammer down. Or call the cops on them and pretend I’m a neighbor because I’m not going to get blamed for that shit. I have a very long life ahead of me that I have big plans for. Plans that require me not being in jail. And plans that require me to sit my fat ass on my couch whilst watching TV and blogging at the same time. This? Is not capable from a cell. Although, wouldn’t it be nice to not have to worry about what to wear every day? And I would have no problems eating bologna sammiches all the time.

Any-hootie, this whole throwing party thing in high school is completely foreign to me. And no, not because I’m 30 and those kids think I’m, like, so old, and like, what not. It’s because I realize that my mom was so lucky that she didn’t have to ever worry about me throwing a party (in high school), or drinking underage (in high school) or doing anything more than what I’m doing right now – sitting on my ass and watching television.

I was a band geek in high school. It has taken me these 10-plus years since high school to actually admit that to people. Because while I had a good time in band and made a lot of good friends, it was also something I was ashamed of for so long. (Another story for another day.) 

My high school marching band was good. We took it seriously. We were more than just playing at halftime of football games. (In fact, we all HATED performing at football games.) We went to state, regional and national high school marching band competitions. Every year. We always finished in the top 10, if not the top 5, at nationals. (In fact we lost to a band one year whose winning program was the music from Sweeney Todd. And yes, the color guard carried around cleavers. Or maybe that was in my memory.)

Baiscally, we were nerds.

But a big reason why I was in band was because my brother was in it. And I was constantly trying to compete with my brother. And I had to do everything he did, hopefully better. (Band was actually the one thing I might have been better at than him. Band and writing.) I now know the reason I did this was because I was trying to earn the love of my father, who thought my brother walked on water. And figured the easiest way to earn his love was to be just like my brother. (Yet another story for yet another day.)

Like I said, I did enjoy band. Up until about junior year. I became tired of all of it around the end of sophomore year. The director wanted me to be drum major. I tried out, mostly because he made me, but literally went through the motions. Waved Flailed my arms around with my eyes constantly rolled into the back of my head. Because I could not be bothered to do any of that “directing” crap. I was horseshit. On purpose. I made it so there was no way he would make me lead the band on the field. Because that a) meant spending time with him, which makes me vomit in my mouth a little now, and b) that I was committed to band for all four years of high school. Which I wasn’t so sure I wanted. Looking back, come senior year, I was so done with it. It was a rare rehearsal where I didn’t get yelled at. Deep down, it was my nerdy way of rebelling.

I was a very good kid. I was a BAND GEEK for Pete’s sake. My friend and I spent our weekends at the $1 theatre. Where the most unruly thing we did was yell out the trivia answers at the screen before the movie started. Or cheer on Melanie Philpot, who was seemingly always employee of the month. Basically, we were obnoxious teenagers.

If we weren’t at the movies, we were at someone’s house, watching movies or playing board games. I think the craziest we got is if we drank caffeine late at night! Or went to the drive-in! *Gasp*

I did not go to parties. I didn’t drink. I didn’t do drugs. I was a square. But so were all my friends. I had plenty of friends. We spent a lot of good times together. I’m still friends with a lot of them today. I had a lot of fun in high school. And I’m glad that I did hang with such upstanding teenagers. Because I know, looking back, that in a battle between me and peer pressure, peer pressure would have won every time. He brought an undefeated record into every match.

Clearly, I have made up for it. I made sure, during one of my first weekends in college, to consume enough vodka to embarrass a Russian. But even in college, most of us were not big drinkers. I didn’t do most of my damage until California. Where I learned how to party like a single, 20-something with no responsibilities should. And I wouldn’t change a single moment. My liver might disagree, though. To which I threaten him with a weekend-long bender, and it shuts him right. Up.

But high school kids partying and drinking underage, without supervision, will always be a mystery to me. I blame some of it on the fact that I’m an old lady now. But I think a lot of it is because I never once had that thought in my head as a kid, so I assume all kids are the same. And that the world is full of band-geek squares who enjoy a good dollar movie.

Lord help me if I ever have my own kids. Because I am karma’s bitch. And I don’t think you can call the cops and pretend to be the neighbor when it is your own damn house.



  1. “Well, they only said that because they didn’t know my dad and my stepmom were no longer together. They also didn’t know my dad was dead. But that’s neither here nor there.”


    I was a ballet geek. We didn’t have a ton of friends outside of each other and didn’t really get invited to parties, so we just started having our own “wild” drinking parties with the same 8 people all the time. only slightly less dorky.

  2. Geek? No, more like the child every mother wants (well, in more ways than one) who stays out of trouble and doesn’t give Mom gray hair and acid reflux disease. Well done! And thanks.

  3. You just described me in high school but I was a chorus nerd. We had so much fun and I have great memories but we were SO not the cool kids.
    And yes, college turned me into the weekend drunkard I am today.

  4. Glad you see the light 🙂

    Hey, at least we didn’t get knocked up when we were 16 from partying too hard! And, no STDs!! I consider myself blessed to have been a band geek!

  5. I was a choir and high school musical geek. I never drank a drop of liquor until I was out of high school.

    Luckily, (so far anyway) my daughter is the same kind of kid. My son however…Oh I’m going to have problems with that one.

  6. Not a bad geek, not a dance geek, simply a geek here. Yes, it’s true.

  7. Um, that should say band. Not bad. Although I was a bad geek – all I had was the glasses. 😉

  8. I never drank, or really partied in high school, either. I was way too concerned with running track to drink. Plus my parents would have killed me! So what instrument did you play? I played alto sax all through middle school but had to decide between music and sports when I got to high school.

  9. I threw a party my sophomore year and it was a low point. And there is where I met the boy (oh back then he was such a boy) who I would spend the next two years of my life with.

    Also, we drank a lot at that party and we moved all of the empty bottles about 10 houses down (in their recycling). THEY MOVED THEM BACK. Can you believe that?

    This is why I don’t want girls. I just don’t want to raise myself. Ugh.

  10. I did stop and think about your stepmom and boyfriend and wonder what was up with that. I wasn’t a big partier either, until I moved to Texas. I did more partying in that year and a half than I probably have in the 15 years since.

  11. LOL wow, that brings back memories. Don’t forget IHOP and Denny’s and the dares to drink those scary concoctions~

    I am so glad you have decided to join the dark side and declare yourself a band geek! Welcome sista!

  12. I was not very in to band (though I did play trumpet), but I didn’t drink or smoke or do bad things in high school. At the beginning of college, I was embarrassed about that, but, you know, I had lots of fun in high school and probably got into less trouble because of it!


  13. That would be me as well, with the only catch of the fact that my parents were big party people — when I was a teenager.

    I still haven’t fallen into the young and reckless thing mainly because I really, really hate being hung over. HATE. And I’m a dork who needs feeeeeeelings to be involved with someone and well, I’m a big fan of sitting on my ass and watching TV.

  14. I had a boss that was a band nerd at OU during the great Switzer years. Being in band was the next best thing to actually playing. You got to go to all the games, and the bowl games, which for them was every year.

    You revealed a lot in that post, deep issues that we all face during life, love, acceptance, rejection and WTF, crap we all face for one reason or another.

    I see it hasnt caused you to get bent out of permanent shape, well except the binge drinking LOL.

  15. Holy Crap! I have way more to say than would be appropriate here, but you better believe I can relate. I wasn’t allowed to be in band (mother was horrified by this “you won’t be popular” Gee, no pressure there). I wasn’t allowed to do anything other than work basically. I ended up graduating early and moved out when I was 18. It was at that point I began to see the light, moved to Lake Tahoe and partied like a rock star until I moved to Seattle where I partied like a stoner. For years. Now? I prefer to couch camp and blog.

  16. No way, a geek? You mean not even … “once, once when you were in band camp?”

  17. Band geeks RULE!!!

  18. I was in Marching Band, too. I didn’t like it. I hated how into it people got. I was so glad when I realized the world wouldn’t stop revolving if I moved while at attention.

  19. oh my-I was a band geek too! From 6th grade through my junior year. I lost interest, and it was all downhill from there, for awhile anyway! I was pretty square too, so don’t feel bad. 🙂

  20. I love this post! I think it’s so much better to start going wild later in life. at least then there’s a little maturity to go with it. and look how good you turned out! I might have to encourage my son to join the band!

  21. Bologna…there IS a plus to prison! I was pretty good in high school and then let a little too loose in college, I had to reel myself back in before I got myself into big trouble. All in all, it makes for some great stories.

  22. I am soooooo resonating right now. Ah, the good ole days! I don’t regret any of our geekiness, and I’m glad you’ve seen the light 😉 And, I really miss the dollar theater.

    *raises glass and imbibes the nostalgia deeply*

  23. I was a pretty good kid in school too. Minus the getting pregnant at 16, but ya know. I couldn’t be too perfect. 😉

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