Posted by: kristabella | December 10, 2007

Oh Hai

Hey. What’s up Internets? I ask as if I haven’t disappeared off the blogosphere in the last week.

OK, don’t send out the lynch mob. (Don’t you just love how I am so delusional that I think people have missed me? Have you missed me? Because I’ve missed you. And really, the path of least resistance is to just say you’ve missed me. The incorrect answer would be “who are you again?”)

Anyway, I have no good excuse. I had all intentions of writing at least one post this weekend and getting back in the swing of things between my many important things to do naps. But then. Then! I got hit with a really bad case of The Lazies. You know, like not my normal-day Lazies. These were catastrophic.

Well, that and I took Benadryl on Sunday night to help me sleep and ended up passing out watching the ABC Family movie with Slater and Sabrina the Teenage Witch and you know what? The nice throw pillows on the couch don’t absorb the drool so well.


So, in true Kristabella fashion, I give you what has been happening with me in the last couple of days or so. In bullet form, of course.

  • I logged on to my Bloglines today and had 468 new posts. Let’s just say I marked them all read, and I’m starting from scratch. If any of you have some big news, please share.
  • Well, I browsed most of them. I just didn’t read. Or comment. Because with The Lazies comes The Attention-Span-of-a-Gnat-ies.
  • Oh, and speaking of blogs, you’re all blocked at work. Except WordPress blogs. So way to come to the good side, Hotfessional.
  • This will probably change in the next few days since they’ll see ACTIVITY from me.
  • Oh, and Bloglines is blocked at work too. I swear to all that is good and holy they are trying to make me actually do work. Look, work people, I do enough work, work of many people, more work than a few people I’ll care to tell you about if you’d like to know, so when I need a break, can’t I just read some blogs?
  • I signed up for Google Reader. That still works. So woo. Hoo.
  • This all happened today. So you can see how exciting my weekend was.
  • On Saturday, I got my hair did. Nothing different. Just got it darkened up. It’s not even shocking anymore.
  • I also went over to see my friend Ang and her family. She had a baby in October and of course looks like she never had a baby, let alone two. Her new daughter is the cutest.
  • I also gave Ang the rundown on blogs. And introduced her to a whole new world. It was like introducing a vegan to the wonder that is Bacon.
  • She says she’s going to start reading now. So hi Ang! If you’re really reading! Although it is past 10 PM, so you’ve been in bed for a few hours.
  • No, she’s really the same age as me.
  • We got hit with some ice storm on Saturday night. It made all the sidewalks and parking lots like big, old skating rinks. Fun! Especially when you’re the asshat who decides that the day after an ice storm is the day to go grocery shopping. Oh, and at night. So it’s dark. And in the dark? Ice and not ice? They look the same.
  • That was going to be my post last night. About the stupid girl carrying 17 grocery bags, two 12-packs of sody pop and 27 pounds of cat litter, shuffling her way on the icy sidewalks because GOD FORBID she get her lazy, out of shape ass to make more than one trip.
  • Well, until I was walking up the sidewalk ramp, you know the ones at the corners for people in wheelchairs? And I took three steps up, and then slid back down. It was like some unseen person was standing behind me and playing a cruel joke on me. There he was, waiting for me to get three steps up and then a tug on my coat and I was brought back down again.
  • A normal person would have gone around, instead of trying over and over.
  • I didn’t think it was funny with all those groceries.
  • But the chick walking her dog got quite a chuckle.
  • I think it is karma since I play that game with my niece all the time. She likes it the first 10 times. But after time 37, she really just want to run away from Auntie. And for the love of God woman! Stop pulling me back!
  • I’m the worst Secret Blogger Santa ever. I have no creativity and I also have The Lazies. So while Hotfessional gets earrings (seriously, they said free gifts the first two rounds), I gave an ecard. Am all kinds of awesome.
  • I got a cute little letter from my Secret Santa. Which was very nice and I appreciated it. Because she said she liked my blog. Which means she’s been reading since she knows this girl loves for people to blow sunshine up her ass.
  • I went to the gym today. (I’ll pause while you all gasp and chuckle.) My plan is to go at least 4 nights this week. I’ve decided I’m fat enough and I have to get back to being healthy.
  • It was hot in the gym. And I forgot my iPod. But I still managed a 40-minute workout.
  • Even though I got winded just changing into my workout clothes.
  • The chick on the treadmill next to me was staring at me. I came to no other conclusion than she reads my blog and was giddy to be in the presence of greatness. Or asshattedness. Same thing.
  • And then I went back to locker room and saw a booger the size of Belize on my nose.
  • No, not really.
  • But entirely possible.
  • Remember the last time I went to the gym? Turns out I’m not the only one who was confused. This is The Sign for Idiots, if I’ve ever seen one.


  • But hey, at least they are marking the doors so I’m not looking at shoes to see if they are men’s or women’s.
  • And my camera phone takes pretty good photos.
  • That is all.


  1. It’s ok Kris. I missed you. Lots! 🙂

    At work I’m blogged from everything except my own blog. Crazies.

    Obviously Treadmill chick is a huge fan!

  2. So wait… how do you know which bathroom to use?

  3. Welcome back! Missed starting my morning off with reading your blog.

  4. Maybe it’s just a sign for the visually impaired?

    Glad you’re back!

  5. That giant bathroom sign is amazing. I hope that one day you get to see a vertically challenged woman standing right next to it.

    Um, and OF COURSE your loyal followers missed you!

  6. I walked into a mens room last week. Because I’m that kinda cool.

  7. Ha, don’t you hate how they try and make you do work? I can’t access any e-mail at work (yahoo, google, I’ve tried them all) yet I can still access all blogs. I’d rather have them than e-mail anyway if I had to choose 🙂

  8. So that was a 100 things in disguise post wasn’t it?

    Good to have you back though. I had about 500 bloglines to read too, and I’m now down to 86. I just can’t do it anymore. None of you are that fascinating.

  9. K’bella, while you were working out, did your legs sport red marks from knee-high trouser socks worn at work?

    That’s my latest winter-time gym dillema.

    If so, whatd’ya do? I’ve considered only wearing tights. But who wants to wear tights if your’re not wearing a skirt???

  10. I almost emailed you yesterday and told you to blog or get off the pot! And here you managed to show a bathroom in your post, so I KNOW we’re on the same wavelength.

    Oh, and wait! You mean for once in my effin’ life, I timed something right? Well, halle-flippin-lujah.

    And I did feel kinda guilty for what I gave my SBS after I got the earrings. I’m glad I just got an overachieving SBS (hey, if you’re reading this, darling SBS of mine, that is NOT a criticism. I loved, loved, loved the earrings and am now entirely in love with you and can’t wait to find out who you are.) Like how I hijacked Kristabella’s blog for that?

  11. I watched that movie on Sunday night! Yes, I felt like a big loser but Slater is nice to look at.

  12. What is the working out you speak of? Never heard of it.

  13. At least you signed up for secret santa, I was too lazy to do that much rofl! And as for the gym? I get winded just looking at my entrance card.

  14. Chick blog.

    do you ever balance out the raging estrogen?

    Anyway, I saw your post to hotfessional and thought I would drop in.

    As Caesar once said, Veni, Vedi, Velcro
    translated, I came, I saw, I stuck around!


  15. 468!? Geez!

    Glad to have you back. I need your address, yo, so maybe that was inappropriate to request via comment. Feel free to delete. But not before you RESPOND TO ME WITH YOUR ADDRESS!

    The reason why includes a dog in a lobster costume and that right there is INCENTIVE.

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