Posted by: kristabella | November 27, 2007

A Kind Of Black Friday If You Will

I try not to talk about work too much on here. I learned a bit of a lesson with the consulting thing. And I mean “a bit” because well, that was just a blatant overreaction. But since I don’t know how people are going to react, especially crazy CEOs, because who would get that MAD over a blog post, I keep it to a minimum. And it’s fine. Because it’s not like I work for a sports team or something. Or a dirt company.

And I have avoided talking about this, but my very blah mood today kind of calls for it. It could be because I eat shit all day and don’t exercise and spend too much time on the computer so I don’t get enough sleep, but really? That doesn’t make for a good post. No one wants to read how I sit around like Al Bundy with my hand down my pajama pants all night, watching bad reality TV, reading blogs and petting my cats. Jesus, I just wrote it and punched myself in the face. And I had to pull my hand out of my pants to do it!

So the company I work for, it recently got bought out. This is the largest company I have ever worked for, so it was kind of a big deal. And when I took this job in May, I knew there was some shit going on. At that time, no one knew what it was going to be. Just that there were possibly going to be some changes, possibly not. It definitely wasn’t enough to deter me from taking the job. And in hindsight, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.

Well, with the buy out, changes were inevitable. As is typical with these kinds of situations. What the changes were/are, we still aren’t sure.

Which leads me to this week. About a month ago, we got word that changes were going to be coming. Around the end of November. Which is Friday. The rumor mill is spinning. We have no idea what is going to happen. Some have been told they might have to relocate. It is just a very weird environment at work these days.

I’ve been let go twice. Once in January 2005 from the Niners. And once in April from Slalom. There is a chance that at the ripe young age of 30, I will have been laid off three times. Three times in the last 3 years. It kind of sucks to think about.

I discussed this with Marianne and Hotfessional last month when we went to dinner. Hotfessional is very familiar with what I’m going through. Marianne was shocked I wasn’t more freaked out. So was I, to be quite honest.

A few weeks ago, I snapped at my brother on the phone when discussing all of this. He keeps telling me I’ll be OK. That no one cares about peons like me. True. But then I flipped out on him. Screaming and crying. Because I’m tired of people telling me it will be OK. You DON’T KNOW THAT! And I don’t know it either. And it doesn’t make it easier.

If they want to let me go, they’ve already made up their minds. All I can do is come in and do my job the best way I know how. Because that’s what I get paid to do. And it is entirely in their hands. And freaking out will do nothing but make me lose sleep and get crabby.

But the reason I freaked out on my brother was because while I may be fine, these people constantly telling me this don’t have to be in my office every day. Sharing the same coffee pot and drinking fountain with the same people who have been told they will most likely no longer be working in Chicago. People with families. People with mortgages. People who might lose their jobs.

It is not fun to go into work. Everything is on hold. We don’t know what is going to happen next week, let alone next year. And it makes for a lot of silence. And stressed-out people. And a lot of freaking out. Because no one wants to lose their job.

So as much as I try and not care because, really, I do not control it. It doesn’t make it easier to come in every day and see people who are very worried. People who don’t want to move to Podunk, Arkansas. People who are freaking out about the possibility of losing their jobs. People who are worrying about the possiblity of not being able to take care of their families.

And while we joke about eyeing the empty boxes, or moving into a bigger cube, the fact is, it is SCARY. It is a position no one wants to be in. And I really dread going into work this week. Because even if I am lucky enough to keep my job, there are people who won’t. And it is sad. And I don’t wish that on anyone.

So forgive my very meh mood today. I think it is effecting me more than I’d like to admit. Because the dishes aren’t getting done. And apparently I just think the litter box is going to empty itself. But as much as I wouldn’t mind having some time off to see how Drew Carey is really doing on The Price is Right, I know that the last thing I want to do is a job search for what seems to be the 10th time in the last 18 months.

Because that’s more pathetic than the sight of me on my couch mimicking Al Bundy.



  1. KJ: That sucks. I have been through this kind of thing, too. One company gets bought out by a bigger company, changes are impending, everyone is on edge. It’s no fun and I just want you to know that I think it’s great you have an outlet like this blog and a supportive community of readers behind you on your “MEH”/Al Bundy days. Hang in there.
    House of Jules

  2. O, o, this is not a good thing! But perhaps it will all turn out for the best. I’ll keep my thumbs up for you and wish you all the luck in the world!

    Greetings from the Netherlands!

  3. You know I’ll be there for you no matter what happens. And it’s a lot easier to say “don’t worry” than to actually not worry. I’ve been there.

    Hang in there, Sweetie.

  4. Hi KJ. I am thinking positive thoughts of you. You want cookies? I’m in a baking mood.

  5. It’s definitely a roller-coaster ride. I miss some very good friends every day, but y’know? They’re finding new positions (yes, they keep telling me) – And you and I will, too if we have to.

    You know where to find me if you want someone to commiserate and get drunk with.

  6. I worked at CompUSA a few years ago and almost the ENTIRE building was laid off except me and 30 other people. Hundreds of people were laid off and transferred. I remember the anxiety of the unknown. Don’t these people know that you have bills and families? It’s infuriating and I wonder what the higher ups would do differently if they were put in your position.

    I hope it all works out for you and everyone else.

  7. Hey there….sorry things are so crappy. 😦 Its sucks how when things are bad at work, it can make everything else suck too.

  8. Freak out on me if you like but it WILL be all right in the end. Bright talented people like your self always find work. That does not mean there will not be any pain in the meantime though. There will be and I am sorry for your pain. I think I can safely say I feel your pain.

    I work in a very fluid industry. Come in, build a system, put it online, thank you very much now get the hell out.

    My biggest pain with that process is how I make all these awesome friends who become a part of my life and then *blink* they are not in my life anymore.

    Yep, it sucks.

    It sucks more than Michael Jackson at a Boy Scout Jamboree!

  9. You can always come live with me and we’ll just start our cat filled spinster lives a few years early.

  10. That completely sucks big time. Working in that type of environment bites and being left dangling on the proverbial line like the proverbial fish stinks.

    More wine, here!

  11. KJ – I’ve been going through the same thing for the past two months. We got the official word last week, and I dodged the bullet, but it hit three others on my team. It’s no fun either way, to lose a job or have survivor’s guilt. And why does it always seem to happen around the holidays? Just keep on keepin’ on and know that I’m sending good thoughts your way…

  12. Eeek. Really sorry to hear about all this. Thinking happy thoughts for you.

  13. First off, we all know that if Al Bundy had boobs, his hand would be up his shirt, not down his pants. Second, my husband has been through two company buyouts (we are currently in the middle of the second one), so I know how you feel. You have to do your job, but you don’t see the point if they are possibly going to let you go. All you can do is update your resume, take a peek at what else is out there and hope for the best. If anything, you can get a job in Washington and hang out with moi. :o)

  14. It’s got to be very, very scary… A huge “re-org” happened where I work — about two years before I started. My co-workers talk about how painful of a time it was, even when they made the cuts. Just so tough.

    Whatever comes, you will get through it somehow. You always manage. And we’re here for ya.

  15. I’ll be thinking of you lady. And sending you warm thoughts of cold beer.

    *virtual hugs*

  16. That stuff always sucks sooooo much. I feel like the worst part is not knowing what the hell is going to happen. It’s out of your control, though, so try to concentrate on the things that ARE in your control … like, you know, looking hot and making men stumble over themselves in your wake 🙂

  17. Kristin-
    I agree with everyone- that does suck! But, I have faith in you! – Shelly

  18. KJers, it’s the Dutch chick again! Yay, Diana. Welkom in Kristabella-land.

  19. I’m so sorry. that is so stressful, especially near christmas. i hope it works out. of course, when one door closes, another opens, but you’re right-it doesn’t make you feel any better about the situation! i know the feeling of job searching….been doing it for the past 3 and a half months, and it is driving me INSANE. it is so lame. nothing like a job search to make you feel about an inch tall, i swear! good luck to you.

  20. I’m sorry. I can only imagine how scary that is.

  21. You’ve gone through a lot, girly. But you’ve gone through it so gracefully, and you make me proud.

  22. Good for you to try to control only what you can control. There’s not much you can do.

    And remember, you may have been laid off twice, but you’ve also landed three(+) jobs. Job hunting sucks, but you know how to do it and succeed.

    My fingers are crossed for you!

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