Posted by: kristabella | October 11, 2007

My First Blogger Date

So Wednesday night I had dinner plans with Marianne. She comments here quite often. We have been exchanging emails/comments for a few months at least. She is very cute and witty and smart and for some odd reason finds me very funny and entertaining and thought we should meet. She is silly, that one.

(Actually, I may have made the first move, and said something about crossing some invisible blogging line in the sand, and that maybe it would not be appropriate to meet. In real life. Or something.)

But crazy enough, she agreed. Yes! We should meet!

She just recently got back from Italy and suggested we meet up this week. Giving me enough notice because of my jam-packed social calendar. You know the one of watching my ass grow three sizes as I sit on my couch blogging and watching too much television. I almost literally drive right past her house on my way home. So let’s have dinner! Yes! Let’s!

So it was all set. And I was very excited about it. And then about 4 o’clock this afternoon, I got really nervous. I am not funny in person. I talk with my mouth full. And I’m known to curse loudly, and often, and just say rather inappropriate things. This is going to end in disaster, most likely with me taking a nose-dive into the guacamole.

She was equally concerned. Because, oh the humanity! Guacamole must not get in the way! No avocados should be harmed! We exchanged the self-deprecating emails “oh, by the way, I’m a snooze fest to be around in person, so please, low expectations are a must. No expectations or negative expectations would be better. Then the surprise when I’m only semi-uninteresting will be pleasant.”

(I decided to not tell her about the full-mouth talking, the need to interrupt because what I say is IMPORTANT, or the tendency to say inappropriate, irrelevant things. “Oh, you have two cats? That’s cool. I have an ingrown pubic hair.”)

But it went really well. She is a really lovely person. (No, I haven’t turned into a 80-year old woman.) Blogger Marianne is just like real life Marianne (that is a good thing Marianne). Cute and funny. And she handed me lot of compliments that made me blush and start talking into the collar of my denim jacket. And because I’m an asshole, I did not return any compliments. Because, again, me + public = AWKWARD. This is why I get nervous. I should not be allowed to make new friends. It’s why I keep the old ones around. They already know I’m a complete lunatic.

But she’s great! And I really had a great time! And am looking forward to the next meeting!

I don’t think I embarrassed myself too much. I am sure I talked with my mouth full. Because when I have something to say? It must be said RIGHT NOW! That is how IMPORTANT my thoughts and ramblings are. What? They didn’t have anything to do with what you were talking about? Who CARES? Me, I’m TALKING. Words. Coming out of my mouth. MINE.

At one point I think I “joked” how I’m such an idiot, that I’d probably freak her out by offering to babysit her unborn child or something. And then nervous laughter. And then I actually DID offer to babysit. Because complete strangers are always the best bet. And then I maybe just offered to come over and hold her baby for hours and smell its head. Because that is totally something you tell someone you just meet. Who is pregnant. And is probably trying to keep her unborn fetus and future child away from the crazies.

Proof positive and I should not be allowed to meet people. I should just keep my relationships right inside this little box. Is safe in here. And comes with a damn delete button.



  1. Bah, you exaggerate – but I am so glad you two lovely ladies had a wonderful time! As you know, I’m mighty jealous! And mmm, guacamole.

  2. But surely she must know that baby’s heads smell soooooooooo good?????????

  3. That was supposed to ba A baby’s head smells so good….but I got bumped off before I corrected it. It’s not going to be a good day…..

  4. Glad the “date” went well! Someday, when the time comes, you can smell my baby’s head all you want!

  5. I am sure that there are dirty things to be taken from this post, but I am too damn tired to do it!

  6. Goodness! You couldn’t have been LESS awkward. You were funny and fun and I had a great time.

    And just wait – I’ll take you up on the babysitting offer, missy!

  7. Oh how fun (even if also nerve-inducing). BlogHer will be such a “pressure-is-off” kind of environment! Can’t wait!

  8. Hi there, found you through some of the other blogs I read. Your “Oh, you have two cats? That’s cool. I have an ingrown pubic hair.” line made me choke on my tea this morning. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

  9. Um, if you EVEN THINK that by posting this you’re getting out of drinking with me you are SO fucking wrong.

    By the way, I’m even more socially inept than you.

    Do you hug on the first date?

  10. Hee!! Blogging in person dates are scarrrrry. I’ve only had one so far. It ended up being fun, though!

    Also, I am terrible at returning compliments. Half of the time, a conversation ends and I realize that the other person has been so gracious and that I’m an asshole. When I meet YOU in person, we’ll probably have the least compliment-filled conversation in history.

  11. meeting people off the internet, you’re almost to the point of no return. congrats!

  12. ah, the thing we fear the most…not living up to someone else’s expectations..especially when we don’t know what those expectations are, and in reality are our own overly high expectations of ourselves!! I’m glad you put those fears behind you and the two of you had a great meet and a good meal!!

  13. I’ve met a couple people and I have been apprehensive EVERY SINGLE TIME. Because, like, I have NO IDEA what image people have of me in their head. Like, zero. Not even a ballpark idea. I bet you were great though!!

  14. Did you try to touch her stomach, too? Just kidding, that’s just one of those things that’s hilarious-when strangers touch other stranger’s preggo bellies.

    I would be the same way with meeting people who know me from my blog. But lately my blog has sucked so it would probably be better to meet the in-person me.

  15. the pube line made me guffaw like a loon in this deathly quiet office when I’m meant to be doing “serious things.” just thought you should know.

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