Posted by: kristabella | September 20, 2007

Puuuuullllll It!

There are only like four people, including me, that will have any idea what that title means. But, well, you had to be there. And yes beer was involved. And my loud, booming-ass voice.

Guess what Internet? I won a free T-shirt today! Courtesy of my biting wit AND the interweb! How awesome is that?

Oh, and not just any T-shirt. I won a Dad Gone Mad T-shirt! From DGM himself! Because I am funny. And made him laugh. And well, fuck, it doesn’t get much better than that! Because he is one funny man.

Anyway, I made what I thought was a high-larious comment on his blog yesterday. And apparently he found it extremely amusing as well. (See the comments on that post.) So he’s sending me a shirt. Which I will sport with pride. Or something.

And then he called me a funny girl in an email. And you know what? My trash can packs quite a punch and leaves a mark when you pass out at your desk and fall out of your chair from the pure excitement of it all.

And I’m also aware that I really need to get a damn life. It’s a fucking T-shirt, woman.


So my new lover, Nintendo Wii, has been a little sad because I haven’t mentioned him here lately. And we’re like so getting married.

Anyway, I would like to point out, that my lovah made me feel dumb. More than once. (And yet? I still love him.) There is this kind of quizzy-type game that Cindy and I played. And in one portion, you have to pop the balloons shown in numerical order from lowest to highest. Easy right?

So Cindy and I are battling. I’m getting cocky because I’m a fucking genius. And I pick the balloon one. And then I utter “yeah, because it is soooooo hard to put numbers in the right order. Pshaw.”

And then I randomly get served the expert level. And I’m still one cocky SOB. Because numbers. I know how to count. I even probably know Derek Smith’s career-high in tackles if I think hard enough about it. (Or go pull out the media guide.) (18?)

The screen appears. And guess what numbers are on the balloons, people. Guess. Fucking fractions. But wait! Not just normal fractions. Fucking NEGATIVE fractions.

Needless to say, I did not win that one.

And now you see why I trash talk and rub it in to a four-year old. Because I’m damn sure that kid would have answered them right. And he probably also knows how to add, Cindy.


So my boss is retiring. She announced it today. She’s worked at this company for 40 years. Can you fucking imagine? That says a lot, I think. Because after five, I’m usually ready to stab myself. Or preferably someone else. Without going to jail.

I’m not sure what this means for me. And it won’t be until early 2008. But it should make things interesting. Especially if that half of my job wants to keep me and give me more to do. Because I’m sure the sales training side won’t be happy about that.

We might have a Tug-O-KJ on our hands. Sweet!


Remember Salesboy Formerly Known As Winky (SFKAW)? And how he was dead to me? Well, he kind of still is. I’m just finding it way more amusing these days to pick on him because he’s a big BABY, rather than flirt him. Which is a hell of a lot more fun.

So turns out he will get to stay in the hotel. So being the excellent employee that I am, I sent him a note to let him and the other dude know they were GTG. (Good to go, people.) And he was very appreciative. And not an ass. And thought I actually had something to do with it.

Being insanely honest, I told him that I had nothing to do with it and that they needed to thank their managers. And then I said, I was happy to help. And that now he could stop crying.

He did NOT like that. One. Bit.

When the other sales guy wrote back to say thanks as well, I took the opportunity to pat myself on the back again for helping to stop SFKAW from crying.

More ALL-CAPS-SHOUTING e-mails ensued. And I laughed and laughed.

So today I decided that this should not end. Because it is too fun. And you deserve it, SFKAW. So I put a few pieces of Kleenex in the inter-office mail for him. And wrote “Just in case…” on the front.

He should get it tomorrow. And I can’t WAIT!


Did you guys know I hate Halloween? Because I do. I just can’t stand the stupid holiday. (There is a story. I shall share on Halloween.) While I love any kind of free candy, I do not like to dress up. People should just give me free candy. I should not have to do anything for it.

Anyway, so we have a sales conference the week of Halloween. This is the group SFKAW is a part of. It’s all the same people from last month coming back. It should be fun.

But so the idea is to do something for Halloween. Like a party or something. A costume contest. I don’t know. It won’t be organized-company-event night, so thankfully I don’t have to plan anything. (Although I probably will anyway.) So whatever. I need a costume. Supposedly. Like I’ll get fired if I don’t have one.

And it is for work, so I’m not dressing like a slutty insert the blank. (Not that I would anyway. Dressing like a slut is not a costume, skanks.) So I figured I should get something. I actually wasn’t thinking about it too much. But when Schwerer and I were out shopping for dresses for my Fake Birthday, I found this dress. And it fits really nice.


It’s cute right? I immediately thought Jackie O. And I could get some big sunglasses and be done with it.

But then Schwerer and I put our cute heads together and decided that a Go-Go dancer would be sweet too. So I bought some accessories.



So won’t that be so cute as a costume? Or no? And if I got some cream-colored knee-high boots? (The dress is cream. And do you think it matters that the headband is more white? And that maybe, just maybe, am I fucking thinking way too much about a damn costume I don’t even care about?) Or could I get away with black tall boots? Because I already have those.

And what do I do about the lack of sleeves? And that it will be October? And that here, in Chicago, it is generally 35 degrees on Halloween. Even if the days before and after are 90.

And if I ever wear that dress to work after Halloween, will I always be looked at as the Go-Go Dancer? Because it wasn’t cheap, so I should probably wear it again. Maybe to a wedding?

Man, it is so much nicer to hate Halloween and not care.



  1. So, so, so cute! And yes on the black boots. I AM JEALOUS! It’s super cute!

    AND WINKY! Ha ha ha ha BIG ha ha. I cannot WAIT to hear what he does when he gets Kleenex tossed on his desk. HA!

    And yayy on the T-shirt!

  2. Cute post!

    I don’t think I’ll dress up this year, but our dog is going to be a lobster.

    (And I think the cream boots and white-ish headband should be FINE!)

  3. You are so adorably cute, and would make a HOT go-go dancer, my dear! 😉

    (I always knew you were funny!)

  4. O M G… who knows negative fractions anymore? That Wii game will give people nightmares!

    Also, SFKAW better like that kleenex. Hilar.

    And I totally dig the go go dancer idea! I think the dress is adorable.

  5. I think I had a dress like that in the 60’s….maroon with white stripes….

  6. pulllllllllllllllllllllll it!

  7. Personally? I think you should go as a Kleenex!!!!!


  8. You have crossed onto the dark side. Halloween has got you now. (cream on the headband my dear — your too cute not to care)

  9. Haha, loves it. I don’t know what to be this year. I always have big ideas and at the last minute decide i dont’ want to spend money on it.

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