Posted by: kristabella | September 14, 2007

Big Three Oh

I actually completely swiped this idea from Lena. I read her 30th birthday post and was so impressed, I had to attempt something similar on my own. If only to prove to myself and the rest of the world that I should just stick to my own ideas and stop trying to pretend I can write and that I’m all poignant and shit. Because clearly? I should probably stick to posts where I stick my tongue out.


Dear 20 Year Old Kristin,

Take more advantage of that fake ID of yours. 30-year old Kristin is very disappointed in you. What, are you trying to graduate and get a good job? Pshaw. You have the rest of you life to work. All that work going to the DMV and the best you could do was meet some weird guy from Milwaukee and make out with him at The Cubby Bear after a Cubs/Brewers game?

Don’t worry. Things will get better. You will drink much, much more.

Also? Enjoy this time with no real responsibilities. This won’t ever happen again.


30, Your Drunk Older Self


Dear 21 Year Old Kristin,

This will be the only time in your life that you will have three different employers knocking down your door to have you as their employee. Enjoy how awesome it is to have so many prestigious universities and professional sports teams fawning over you.

And I want to tell you that Kim is awesome. And you shouldn’t feel like you’re losing your brother. Trust me when I tell you that you will get even closer to him in a few years and your life will be so much better by having a sister-in-law like Kim.



P.S. Tattoo? GREAT idea!


Dear 22 Year Old Kristin,

It gets better. Really. This is a tough time. Moving to a new freaking state. Working at company where it you are the youngest by far and it seems to be really cliquey. On top of it, you’re making next to nothing and you’re bored silly.

But you tough it out! You hear me? Because these years in California will be some of the best of your life and you wouldn’t trade a second of these years for anything.




Dear 23 Year Old Kristin,

That girl that you’re really threatened by who just started in the PR department? The one who is just like you in every damn way? So much so that people confuse the two of you?

Don’t be. Be confident in the job that you do and that she isn’t trying to tread on your territory. Stop fucking peeing on your desk to mark your damn territory so she doesn’t come around. You are both really talented and awesome at what you do in your own ways. Embrace it.

And when you do finally learn to embrace it, you will have a friend for life that you would do anything for and who would do anything for you.




Dear 24 Year Old Kristin,

The biggest thing you need to remember is that perception is reality. I know it feels like you are not being yourself, selling out and acting like a corporate drone, but I’m telling you, it is all part of being a grown up and working as a professional. We are not going to like everyone we work with or work for. But sometimes, asshats are hired as Vice Presidents. The sooner you learn that you have to suck it up and put on a good company face, the easier your life will be.

And appreciate the fact that when people stick their necks out for you, it is a big deal. And just doing a good job can’t get you through every situation.

It isn’t easy. You’re still learning as you reach 30.

Down With Asshats,



Dear 25 Year Old Kristin,

I know it seems like you are under a pile of financial shit, but you will get out of it. And you’ll forgive her for putting you in this mess. Everyone makes mistakes. And even though you can’t admit it, you always knew that she would never do anything to purposely hurt you. Because she loves you with the heat of 17,000 suns.




Dear 26 Year Old Kristin,

You are beautiful inside and out. And you need to realize this. No one can make you feel good or bad. You control that. Just because you have lost all this weight and look great, does not mean you should go out and sleep with anyone who pays attention to you. You are beautiful, at any weight. Don’t let anyone tell you any different or make you feel any different.




Dear 27 Year Old Kristin,

Oh honey, this year is a bad one. I know it seems like it will never get better, but it will. I just want to go back and give you a big hug and tell you that it WILL GET BETTER. You will pull through this year like you have pulled through every other one.

It is okay to be depressed. Do you hear me? And it is okay to see a therapist. And it is OKAY to be on anti-depressants. Fuck society and their stigmas. Together, the therapy and medicine will make you much, much better. You will sleep a full night again. You will be so much happier and positive and this was so for the best.

And the job thing? It will take care of itself. And you’ll get to move back to Chicago like you want. And all on their dime.

And it will be tough at first. So tough you’ll want to move back to California. But stay with it. And in turn you will become so close to Mike, Kim and Noah and Skyler. Although, you don’t know who she is yet. But trust me. You will love that little girl so much.



P.S. Isn’t coffee great?


Dear 28 Year Old Kristin,

I know he seems like he’s the one. He’s your first love. And you will constantly think about him and want him back in your life. This is a BIG mistake. It will cause more pain to that wound. You need to let it heal. For good.

He’s not right for you. You deserve someone who has the time for you and will treat you like the wonderful woman that you are. And I am sure that he is out there somewhere. And if not? It’s okay because you have the best friends and family money could buy.

Listen to me,



Dear 29 Year Old Kristin,

The biggest thing to remember this year is that everything happens for a reason. And you’ll learn the importance of sticking with things – your writing, your current job and your drinking.

Things are not always what they seem. And you’ll head into 30 probably the happiest and most content you have been in your whole life.

Enjoy every single minute of it.

And you’ll also work at a job that is slowly turning you into an alcoholic with all these sales conferences. And we are okay with that.





  1. You are older and definitely wiser. I hope I’m this wise when I’m 30. 🙂

  2. Awww, Happy Birthday. That was a great idea. and yes, 27 does suck;)

  3. Happy Birthday you baby you!

    If I wrote a letter to myself from age 20 to my next birthday? I’d use up all my bandwidth….[snort].

    Have a drink for me, and when we finally meet up, I’ll buy you a glass of Chicago’s finest. 😉

  4. HA! I love it!!!


  5. Happy B-Day! This post made me feel a little better about turning 30 myself soon. 🙂

  6. Happy Birthday! This is a great idea and I am SO stealing it in 9 months and some days.

  7. I told you before your 30’s are the best times of your life.
    Trust me.

    Happy Birthday


  8. OK Little Girl, Happy Birthday and know the older you get the better it gets. Have fun in AZ.

  9. Wow, that was a lot more involved than my own post for my 30th. I think you need more pictures of Kristen Bell. 🙂

    Also, I firmly agree with your letter to 28-year-old Choi. I hope you sent it to 30-year-old Choi too. 🙂

    Happy birthday and go Pitchfork!

  10. Happy Birthday, Choi!!! Have a great time celebrating.

  11. Welkom in Club 3-0! (where’s that Dutch girl when you need her?)

  12. Happy Birthday! I just found your blog and have read through the whole firing debacle. This year is definitely going to be better. You rock!

  13. You are awesome Kristin! And so loved!!
    I really liked reading this post…what a trip down memory lane!!

  14. I did not keep up with blogs over the weekend, so please forgive the late birthday wishes.

    What an awesome post, K-Bella!

  15. I have always wanted a “real” sister, and now I have one -YOU! Thanks for all the kind words – love you! Happy #30!
    Love, Kim

  16. no mention of me???! geez woman.

  17. Thanks everyone! It was a great birthday!

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