People, the time has come. I have bribed someone with enough cookies to get them to say nice things about me. Other places than on my own site. Or in person with a gun to their heads.
I won an award for mah blawg. Me. An award.
Anyway, she decided to give me a Nice Matters Blogging Award. Or something.
It’s for those bloggers who are nice people (Who? Me?) and good blog friends – those who bring good feelings and inspiration (about booze?). Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. (Like writing about booze?)
Anyway, thank you Hot Librarian. That was very nice of you. And I suppose to live up to this “label” you’ve slapped on me now, I should like return the favor or something. Right?
OK. Fine. Here are some more nice people.
- Alyndabear – Because she’s cute and funny and is a teacher. So she must be nice. Because kids can be annoying. Especially in packs.
- Marianne – She says all sorts of nice things to me. So much so, I want to carry her around in my purse. Plus, it’s not nice to upset a pregnant person.
- The Hotfessional – Again, she says nice things about me. (Are we sensing a theme here? Say how awesome I am? And you win an award.) Plus, I’m mad jealous she was in The Big House for the UPSET OF THE CENTURY on Saturday. And she’s a Spartan like Winky.
- Swishy – This girl can keep her cool even with the biggest idiots in the whole world. I am constantly in awe. Plus, we totally like the same bad reality TV shows.
- Scarlet – One of my first internet friends, she deserves this because without her, I would have no one to text during boring sales training sessions when you just made an ass of yourself in front of the 25-year old salesboy.
Am I done now? Because this is enough nice for the rest of the damn year. My stomach hurts. And I don’t know how this award shit works. Which is why I’m probably never getting another one.
And now back to our regularly scheduled snark…
Guess what? I’m going to the Cubs game tomorrow! In the afternoon! Like the afternoon that would involve NOT being at work! And it’s not vacation! Because the VP invited me!
Too bad we’re going to get fucking poured on. Beats sitting at a damn desk, that’s for sure.
Because sitting at my desk would mean I would have to go to the cafeteria at lunch. Because am the world’s laziest person this week and DO NOT want to make my own lunch. (Don’t worry, I haven’t decided to fall off the deep end and eat burgers and fries every day. I’m still eating healthy. Ish.)
But going to the cafeteria means that you randomly run into Winky. Of course when you’re LEAST expecting it. You know when you’re back at work after yet another bender. And you have your back to him. And didn’t even see him walk in the damn place. Which means you don’t have time to prepare a witty remark. Or hide under the salad bar. But he calls out to you twice to tell you “to answer your question, yeah, it makes me really happy.”
To which you reply with a blank stare because WHY DID I HAVE TO RUN INTO YOU TODAY? And why didn’t I listen to Swishy and make sure I’m always looking hot in case I run into him? And then you finally say something along the lines of “it made my damn weekend” and walk away to pay for your stupid turkey wrap and Baked Lays.
But then you get back to your desk and think “awwww, he sought me out to give me an answer to the text I sent him over the weekend about Michigan losing. He so lurves me.”
And you vow never to hit the snooze button that many times again because that mess on top of your head? Cannot happen again.
Finally, we come to the People Are Idiots portion of our post. I have very rarely had a problem with doctors and billing and insurance and all that. I mean except for it not being 100% free and costing me nothing every time, I’m happy to not have to pay that all out of pocket. Well remember when I had the sore throat of death? Well, the stupid fucking urgent care place decided to take my NEW insurance information, COPY it, ASK me about it TWICE and the proceed to bill my OLD insurance. From a job from almost TWO years ago.
So I called them today and simply said. Fix this. You God damned idiots.
Because what the fuck? I’m a NICE person.