Posted by: kristabella | August 2, 2007

Shirt Required

I’m trying to post something funny and good. But someone, who has NO right, called me a bitch tonight and told me I was the rudest person he’s ever met. I would like to reiterate that this person HAS NO ROOM TO TALK.

*Ahem* Anyway. I also got asked tonight if I have a sense of humor. And I got way more upset about that than the bitch comment. I sent that person to the blog for further study.

So at work today, whilst being bored as I usually am these days, I ventured over to Cafe Press. This site is awesome for things you didn’t think you needed but realized you MUST HAVE. Like a St. Patty’s Day shirt that says Drink Up, Bitches!

And I saw some shirts for birthdays, so I took a look. And oh my hell! I stumbled upon a goldmine. They have all these shirts for monumental birthdays. Like, say, a 30th birthday.

So since there are so many, I thought I would ask y’all’s opinions and see which one I should buy. Because they are all good! You’re all winners!

Up first, Contestant #1. A very general way of declaring that me? Yes, I am 30.


Contestant #2.With my tendency to swear, I thought this mighty appropriate.


Contestant #3. Kinda makes my quest to make out with someone quite easy.


Contestant #4. Quite cheestastic, but still I think it could get some good make out material. Or free drinks. Which really? That’s all I’m looking for. (Although, let’s be honest. I cannot buy this shirt. There is OBVIOUSLY a period missing after something.)


Contestant #5. (Yes, there are way too many of these. I cannot make decisions.) I will be expecting an answer to this question, should this be the shirt I choose.


Contestant #6. (Yes, still more.) Only works if I actually lose this damn weight on WW. And I’m not sure I want to be hearing snarky comments that offer dissenting opinions to this shirt. Even shitfaced I am a little insecure.


Contestant #7. This just made me giggle. Like the nerd I am.


Contestant #8. This requires math. Which drunk people are no good at doing.


And FINALLY, Contestant #9. My personal favorite. Because who doesn’t like a free boob grab? Except, really, whose boobs are that high? I’m 30! Not 12, for fuck’s sake. (And I’m also sure they aren’t that close together either.)


(Says “I’m 30 & I feel great – Feel for yourself!”)

So what do you think? I need some help. Leave your choice in the comments. You too, lurkers! I know who you are!

I’m really leaning towards #9. Especially since when I get drunk, I quite like to encourage random people to grab my boobs. Now, I don’t even have to ask. It says it RIGHT THERE! Which means? I can be all drinky-drinky while getting a grabby-grabby.

And all of you attending? Thank your lucky stars that I am poor because I was going to make you all shirts. But then focus would be off of me. And why would I PAY money to do that?



  1. Whatever. That guy’s an asshole.

    I can lose DAYS on CafePress! I love that site. My votes are 3, 6 and 9. No. 1 is cute, though. But if the goal is making out (can I come make out too???), then those are my picks.

  2. I like #7! And 1, too.

  3. Oh, I SO need to get me one of those! It would at least stop people ID-ing me every time I buy wine…

  4. I vote #2. In fact, I just sent it to my family as what to get me for MY 30th in November. Thanks for the ideas! 🙂

  5. I’m not much help…I like them all. Favorites are #1 and #8.

  6. 2, 5, 7, 9 in that order. But hey – I’m weird.

  7. #5
    This way there is no explaining:
    A. Why your beyond drunk.
    B. Why you look 30 and not 12, hence the weight and boobs comment YOU made.
    C. Why it’s allowed at 30 to be Snarky(better word for Bitch)

  8. #1. It’s the most subtle and subtlety is in.

    Your friend,
    The Hot Librarian

  9. I love the “est. 1977” … but in my wilder and singler days, I might have gone for the groperiffic one.

    What do you hope to accomplish? Let’s start with a mission statement. And really, k-bella, do you need a shirt that says you’re hot? Nah… you live it, a shirt doesn’t need to say it for you.

  10. I love the Zinc one, but I, too, am a nerd.

  11. I would go with option 1

  12. They’re classic! I love the 1977 one. And the “What’s your excuse” one, mainly because the font is funky.

    You’d be game to wear the “Feel for yourself” shirt in public! 😛

  13. you have GOT to get 8 or 9. i would go with 8 since your chest is free reign at the bars anyways. and wait, who called you a biaaaatch??

  14. I like 2 and 5. Maybe I can find one of those for my next BIG birthday which I’m happy to say is still years away.

  15. I’d go with number 2 or number 9.

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