Posted by: kristabella | August 1, 2007

Party Like A Rock Star

I would like to point out that I’ve really tried to be a good blogger and have tried to post every day. Except weekends. Because you know what? No one reads on weekends. Seriously. I get like 16 hits. Which is just depressing. Couldn’t you just log on just to even see if I posted?

Actually, it’s fine because I don’t usually have the time or the energy. Or anything to write about. Since I’m usually drunk.

Why am I mentioning this? Besides for just some more letters to fill the page? Because I didn’t post last night. What? You didn’t notice? Sure you did. I see you there refreshing 100 times a day. (No. I don’t.) But I went to the Cubs game last night with Senor Beavis. And the Cubs won. (Yay!) And Greg Brady sang the national anthem. (Awesome!) And Peter AND Greg sang the 7th inning stretch. (Double yay!) (Oh, it was 70s night.)

Senor Beavis has actually never seen The Brady Bunch. (Yes, I passed out in my seat for about 10 minutes, whilst he was fanning me back to life, after he told this to me. To quote The Princess Bride “Inconceivable!”) And Senor was all like “he can sing?” And I proceeded to start singing “We’re gonna keep on, keep on, keep on, keep on dancing all through the night…” But it was wasted on his non-Silver Platters knowing brain, so I stopped. (But when I saw Peter Brady singing, I then had “Sha Na Na Nah Na Na Na Nah Na” in the head the rest of my night. Complete with a Peter voice-crack vocal.)

And the batteries were out on my camera. Otherwise I? Would have been a stalker. One, to rub it in Teri’s face and, two, for the best Christmas card this side of Mark Grace. We’ll meet again, Greg Brady. We shall meet again.


I need more color in my life. And really? That’s such a good break between random thoughts. And yes, I stole it from Amalah’s gahgahgahgahgah or whatever it was.


So today, I finally called the venue for my upcoming PARTAY for my 30th birthday. My birthday is actually September 14th (send presents!), but since I have lots of out of town peeps, I thought it would be better to plan it over Labor Day weekend. To give them more days for the money in America’s greatest city. (Seriously, it says that on our city stickers.) (No, it doesn’t. It SHOULD.)

Most people have a day to celebrate their birthday. Even the monumental ones. I, my friends, am having a full weekend of festivities. It’s KJ-Palooza, if you will. (My birthday is seriously my most favorite day of the year. Hands down.)

Anyway, so we will be doing something Friday night (still up in the air), do some awesome Chicago touristy things during the day Saturday, an awesome party at a bar in the City on Saturday night and a Cubs game on Sunday. A WHOLE weekend. No lie.

But I finally secured the place for Saturday night. It’s a bar on Southport that has a New Orleans theme. So I’ve secured the upstairs room, that has like a semi-balcony thingy that looks out on to the street. It may just be windows. Whatever. Regardless, it’s our own room and it will be good times. You are all invited. (Seriously, any people who read this that aren’t on the evite, email me or comment and you’re on the list.) (As if I’m that popular.)

But I’m super excited because my best friend Julie will be here. My great friend Amber will be here from Seattle. Chundley will hopefully be coming into town. (I hope the flights work out!) And all my great friends and family from Chicago will be there too. It’s going to be a blast! I can’t wait!

(I’ll be sending the evite out from work. Since I really don’t have much else to do.)


I wore these brown shoes to work today that are super cute, but the plastic thingy that goes on the heel fell off. Sometime when I was in Coon Rapids, MN. I have no idea how or where it happened.

Anyway, I wore those shoes today, since it’s been like weeks since my Minnesota trip, therefore have forgotten every damn thing except “Julie & Joe’s house is so cute!” and “Northwest sucks!” And the little plastic heel-thingy covered some sort of metal rod.

So basically every time I walked around today I felt like a damn peg-legged pirate. Aaarrggghhh matey!


Because I have the will power of a (insert something that has very little will power), I have decided to start going to Weight Watchers meetings.

About four years ago (jeebus, has it been four years already?) I started Weight Watchers when I was one obese mother fucker living in a fantasy world where I was the skinny one because everyone else looked like Star Jones before she lied about having gastric bypass surgery. Anyway, I was very successful and got down to a healthy weight and dropped a bunch of poundage.

Somehow in the last year or so, since I’ve been back home, I’ve managed to start gaining back all that weight. There are a few factors. I eat out too much. I think I might drink more here. The good food in Chicago is NOT good for you (i.e. pizza, beef, sausage, etc.) And I’ve become a lazy fuck.

I know everything there is to know about WW. I know all the points in almost every single piece of food I put in my mouth. So I figured, I could just get back to counting the points and be all good. I even signed up online again (which was how I did it the first time.)

No such luck. I’m good for like 3 days and after that I cheat. And I don’t just cheat like I eat a Snickers bar. I fucking binge and eat half of the menu at the Mexican place around the corner.

This is not good. I now need something different. What I’m doing OBVIOUSLY isn’t working, since my damn pants continue not to fit.

So a friend of mine (won’t mention her name in case she doesn’t want people to know) goes to the meetings and I’m going to start going with her. And I have a buddy to now keep me responsible. Which is what I had in California when I did it the first time. So I will succeed. I WILL!

And fuck you Rich. I’m starting to go to the gym too.


You know what US Weekly? I’m a devoted reader. I sing your praises everywhere. But when you start documenting LC’s weight loss (which is SIX FUCKING POUNDS) I don’t want to hear it.

And LC? You don’t need to lose weight. You need to eat a damn sammich. And punch Heidi and Spencer in the face.


On Friday when I was driving home from the Target, I saw this new high-rise something or other on Peterson. Turns out it’s an apartment complex for seniors “55 and older!” Too bad the damn building overlooks the cemetery. Yeah, that’s encouraging. “Come live across the street from where you’ll end up for all eternity!”


I have to go. For one, it’s fucking hot in here. (Yeah, yeah, you complain about that all the time.) (Shut up self!)

No seriously, it’s really oppressive in here. It’s so bad that my candles? They melt. Without being LIT. No shit.

Plus, it’s time for live-blogging over on MamaPop Talk for Top Chef. And we drink! All together! And I make friends. ‘Tis a good waste of time.



  1. I have, like, something to say about every single one of these! I DO! But it’s 1:15. And I have not been looking that pretty after all the late nights. So I have to go to bed … but I WILL be back. Oh, yes, yes, I will.

  2. THE CUBS ARE IN FIRST PLACE. I don’t care that it’s 8/3….the Cubs are in first place!
    The Cubs game you went to was televised & they played Peter Brady singing that song where his voice cracks…”when it’s time to change…”
    Great post. I agree with Swishy….I could comment on just about everything!

  3. Hey. Just wanted to let you know that I do stop by at least once per weekend. And guess what? 18 hits? I get 5 on the weekends.


  4. Ree – I guess I’ll have to start posting now! Must find interesting things to talk about! I should find some sort of crazy hobby. 🙂

  5. Oh please, girl, weekends are meant to be AT LEAST a weekend. Mine always last forever and all of my friends know it will.

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