Posted by: kristabella | July 26, 2007

Blawg Her

Disclaimer: I’ve had a few drinks before writing this. Because I had to finish (oh yes, bitches, you read that right. FIN-ISH.) the bottle of wine from last night. Which should be a SHOCK to all of you that last night with dinner I had one (ONE motherfuckers!) glass of wine with dinner. Which meant? I left an almost-full bottle of wine just sitting there on my counter for a full 24 hours. Me. Medal. Now. KaiThxBai. 

So I’m sure some of you know (read: maybe three of you) that the annual BlogHer conference is this weekend. In Chicago. At Navy Pier. Here. In my city.

Am I going, you ask? No. And I’m kind of starting to think that might have been a bad choice.

I read all the stories on numerous blogs from the BlogHer conference in San Jose, CA last year. This was before I was a blogger myself. But I thought “what fun! Can’t wait to go myself!”

I found out it was in Chicago and was immediately elated. Just think! Meeting all these bloggers that I secretly stalk and secretly want to be. (Um, yeah. Not so secret.)

But then I went online to register and Gawd DAMN! it is expensive to go to conferences. Let’s be honest. I was not planning on going and learning anything. (People, I will be fixing them all, mostly, but if you could see some of these misspellings I have right now, you’d laugh! One thousand laughs! Apparently drinking = fat fingers. Maybe I should keep them! The misspellings. Not the fat fingers. It’d be like a whole post of lolcats.)

Anyway, so at the time I was finding out the cost of this two-day conference snooze-fest (sorry, some of the topics you’d have to pay me to attend) was also when I was mired in a whole bunch of shit with the old job and the blog and the unjust firing. That went on for a total of 18 days. And I figured spending over $200 on a conference probably wasn’t the best idea. When I was going to be unemployed at some time in the near future. So I waited. And figured I’d sign up after I got a new job. I probably couldn’t come to the conference on Friday, taking a day off from a new job and all, but I could at least attend the cocktail festivities and maybe Saturday’s events.

But for the love of Christ, the cocktail event and Saturday was still well over $100. And I? Am cheap beyond belief. And if I knew that the bloggers I really wanted to meet were going, then I would totally sign up. But no one was really mentioning BlogHer in May.

(Let me just point out that this post is already too long. About NOTHING. What the hizzy is wrong with me? And I’m forcing myself to stay on point otherwise I’d be all “BlogHer is tomorrow. We get to wear jeans tomorrow. And I also am getting me teeth cleaned. Wheeee!”)

And then Jen wrote a post about being snubbed by BlogHer. And how DARE THEY?! And since the idea of hanging out with her at the Four Seasons sounded like a much better (and cheaper. Maybe.) idea, I went with that. (Although, I’m sure I’m banned from her festivities since she’s under the impression that I’m (moi?) the one who made her subscribe to the Big Brother feeds on CBS. I have no idea what she’s talking about.)

So I kind of forgot about it. And then the BlogHer posts started showing up on people’s blogs. Who was going. Who wasn’t. And I started to wonder if I should be attending.

But here was my thing. I really did want to go. But as I mentioned before (which, yes, I KNOW, is hard to believe) I can be shy. And the thought of going somewhere with all these strangers/people-who-I-know-that-don’t-know-me caused me to pass out and fall out of my chair and hit my head right on the corner of the coffee table. Dude, I’m a girl. I don’t even like going to the bathroom by myself.

If only I had met Marianne earlier. (Who, please, go read. Is funny. And cute. And pregnant. And you don’t want to upset a pregnant lady do you? Oh and also? I’m going to start carrying her around in my purse with me because she thinks I’m so, so funny.) And I’m pretty sure my persuasive powers could have convinced her to go. “Let’s be each other’s wingmen! And totally embarrass ourselves in front of Miss Zoot! It’s right in our backyard! Who cares that you’re moving that same weekend! Let’s get drunk with ‘famous’ bloggers!” (Except this obviously would have been before I found out she was preggers. Dur.)

But I found out today, she’s not going either. And I, in that kind of situation, need one person I know. I’m not a big blogger. I can’t just walk up to anyone and be all “I’m Kristabella, bitch.” Because I need someone to hold hands with in the back corner behind the fake palm tree pointing and talking about people.

So I’m sure it would be fun. (And seriously, Marianne, I know where they are going to be. We could totally crash.) But I just think that I’ll have to be going to the next one. (And I’ll be recruiting all of you (Swishy, Scarlet, Marianne, et al) well in advance.) Because as comfortable as I am stalking people from afar, I am not comfortable with A) meeting them in person and B) the possibility that they will not like me. (Come to think of it, I’ve never met any of you in person either. So be prepared for me to act like an asshole. And talk into my drink and not make eye contact. Because I’m. Just. That. Cool.)

I’ve already proven I should not meet anyone outside my circle of friends. (Yet for some reason out of my realm of understanding, she still talks to me.) (Although, maybe not anymore.)



  1. tech crunch tech 20 costs 2.5 thousand dollers :(.

  2. Can I go to BlogHer if I have a work blog only? 😉

    Cheezburger – I noticed the price for TC20 last night. But, hey, where else will you see MC Hammer, Mark Cuban and Robert Scoble at the same conference?

  3. OMG. I Can Has Cheezburger writed comment on mah blawg!

    Of course you can come Lori!

    MC Hammer? Really?

  4. I would only go to BlogHer if I had plans to meet a crapload of bloggy friends.. because it’s one heck of a trip from Sydney, that’s for sure.

  5. OK, so my original plan was to skip the workshops, find out where everyone was hanging out and having drinks afterward and go THERE instead. I thought it was a GREAT idea … and then it kind of fizzled out. DOH! I totally should have done it and dragged you with me!!

  6. zzzzzzzzzzz

  7. alyndabear – But next year’s will be closer from London right? 🙂

    Swishy…we totally should have! That was my plan too, to just drink and socialize. Next year! Fo sizzle.

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