Posted by: kristabella | July 15, 2007

But I Still Hate Dr. Phil

Sometimes I’m not a smart person. I do really stupid things, things I know that I shouldn’t do, but yep. I do them anyway. These things usually pertain to yucky boys and my heart overruling my head. (Which I always told myself would NEVER happen. Am smart intelligent woman. How can this happen to sane people? Well, it does. All. The. Effing. Time.)

And usually in these instances, I need a 2 by 4 to the damn face to make me realize “Hey YOU! You are being STUPID!” Unfortunately, 2 by 4s to the face really fucking suck. But, DAMN, they really get the job done.

My love life has been non-existent lately. I mean, I can’t tell you the last time I was on a proper date. (Or when I turned British. Wankers.) A lot of it was that I wasn’t ready. It took me a long time to get over my ex-boyfriend. A LOT of time, probably according to most people. But everyone is different.

But now I’m ready again. After a few blips of utter stupidity. I need to get back out there. Because you know what? I just don’t meet people in bars. I need something else.

I’ve done the online dating thing before. It works well. I never met “the one” but I met some cool people. Also some toads. And apparently short, heavy-set men are REALLY attracted to me. (People, I hate to be all shallow and shit, but I’m almost 6-feet tall. If you’re 5-4, I’m sorry. I will not be attracted to you. I will not suffer from a lifetime of back problems from bending over to kiss you. And talk to you. Since you’ll be so low to the ground.) (But you would come in handy when I drop shit.)

Last time I did Yahoo Personals. I didn’t have much luck. I met a lot of perverts. Just wanting a hook up. Which, jeebus, people, I’m almost 30. I don’t need more random hook-ups. Those I can do just fine on my own. That’s what bars are for. And I don’t have to pay $15 a month for that.

So tonight? I signed up for I’m taking the plunge and doing the online dating thing again. To be honest, I don’t have a lot of confidence in it. But I know people who have met their “one” on there. Specifically I know one person who just recently had her second baby with her guy she met on Match. And they are all kinds of happy. So I know it works. I do believe in it.

But sometimes I feel things get lost in translation. I never know what to write. I mean, you don’t want to be too funny because then you’re like batshit crazy. Too serious and you’re like that chick who will end up stalking you. Maybe my profile should just read “I’m funny! I like sports! Go read! And you’ll see! I’m batshit crazy AND funny!”

But yeah. I’m at a good place for this. And I’m all set on really putting the effort into it. Because it’s a lot with the email and the winks and the searching and all. You have to have time to devote to this. This I know. And I’m ready to put in the time. Because I’m ready to move on from ex-boyfriends. And from the one-night stands. And into real adult relationships.

But I will not be taking any assvice from Dr. Phil. Because you sir, are a fucking moron.



  1. If you wrote your profile on like you write here, you will definitely come across as who you are. Never a doubt.
    Gram hates just about every talk show but she likes Dr. Phil. Go figure.

  2. Hi Kristen….I did the thing too. I met some interesting people. 🙂 Whatever you do, don’t put “I love to laugh” in your profile. I feel like everyone says that in theirs and you just wanna be like, “really? who the hell doesn’t like to laugh??”

    Good luck–I hope you meet a good one! 🙂

  3. GOOD FOR YOU! That’s awesome. I see a hot man in your future … or at least some good blog posts 🙂

  4. seems like a cry for help that you want to date me, right mahnee? but alas, you’re only human, kj. so now instead of random hook ups at bars you can now have random hook ups through the internet!! craigslist, up next!

  5. Yeah, Dr. Phill sucks. Don’t mention him in your profile.

  6. Good for you! You’ll have to tell us all about the potentials you find. 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: