Posted by: kristabella | July 4, 2007

Did George Washington Have To Cross State Lines For Illegal Fireworks?

It took me about 15 minutes to think of that headline. And it’s not even good.

Did y’all have a good 4th of July? Did you cook out on the grill and watch endless displays of fireworks?

I actually did nothing. Because I partied like it was 1999 on the third of July, staying out drinking until 3 AM. So I spent most of today lying on the couch, wishing the cat would just eat my face off and put me out of my misery. Because a bottle of wine plus a six-pack of Miller Lite a good equation does not make. It explains why I can’t think of anything creative or funny to write. And apparently why I started talking like Yoda.

I was supposed to go to the White Sox game with Senor Beavis, but it just wasn’t going to happen. The idea of showering and just moving was much too much for me to handle. Sorry Beavis.

I did have a hell of a time on the 3rd. Obviously, from the hungoverness. Actually, Chicago traditionally does its fireworks on the 3rd. It’s a big deal. It’s always during the Taste of Chicago, another big deal. There will be more than one million people downtown to watch those fireworks year after year. Those suburbanites like their fireworks, apparently.

So Tuesday night, I went to a friend of a friend’s apartment on Lake Shore Drive. It was the 12th floor so she invited some people over for dinner and to watch the light show in the sky. The weirdest part (and not really) was that this chick is the girlfriend of a dude that my friend Shelly tried to set me up with last fall. We all went out to a bar and it was a grand old time. Until I spilled an entire FULL glass of beer on my crotch! I walked around all night looking like I wet myself. Needless to say, it wasn’t too soon after the spillage that he left. WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE. And that was that. (Honestly, it totally was fine. He’s a really nice guy, but I don’t think we had any chemistry.)

So yeah, I went over to his girlfriend’s apartment for dinner. Hello? Awkward? Actually, it was all good. I mean it wasn’t like we dated or anything. And his girl is really nice and we got along fine. She likes sports too. But you just never know.

The funniest part was that because the fireworks were being shot off from Grant Park, and not Navy Pier, we only saw the tops of some of the fireworks. Because there were like 15 tall buildings blocking our view. It sounded like a great show, though.

After this party, Shelly and I went over to a housewarming party. For this guy named Jim. He’s the one from this post. (I actually saw him once, a few months ago, which was the first time since that incident.) Which I totally brought up to him after about eleventy thousand gallons of alcohol on Tuesday night. And you know, as per usual, I brought the awkwardness to the party. I should have stuck to bringing a dessert or something.

We ended the night watching last year’s hot dog eating contest on ESPN. Because what screams American more than a Japanese guy inhaling 54 hot dogs?

God Bless America.



  1. Well, the jackasses in my neighborhood were shooting off fireworks until after 2AM this morning. And by fireworks, I mean quarter sticks of dynamite. Gotta love a neighborhood that’s mostly cops & firemen who apparently have a thing for dynamite.

  2. it was the 4th yesterday?

  3. Actually, I grilled on the sidewalk. The fireworks show I watched was in my front yard…random objects spontaneously combusting in the heat. It was 117 for fucks sake!:(
    I did however watch the Chi-Town fireworks on TV:)

  4. *wipes a tear from her eye and hums “God Bless America.”*

  5. Ha, okay, I’m a dork and was giggling from the moment you started talking like Yoda! Hope you’re feeling better!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: