Posted by: kristabella | June 15, 2007

Summer Lovin’

If I was a smart blogger, I would have saved those lolcats photos with Simba and the bacon for it’s own post. Today. So I could just be done with it and on to bed.

I haven’t much felt like writing this week. But that’s when I feel like I should. Especially after the conference last week and not writing every day. Because once I get into a habit of not writing every day, I’ll get used to it. And I do enjoy writing, which is why I make myself do it. It cheers me up. It gives me an opportunity to spin the bacon wheel. Which? Will always be awesome.

(Bacon says? Eat the cat. No. BAD Bacon. You’re going to get bacon-slapped. Bacon says “Beckon!”) (I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be beckon or lolcat speak for bacon. Or like that annoying dog on those commericals. It’s BECKON!!) (And yes, that’s what the raw piece of pork landed on when I spun it. It’s live-action here at Kristabella.)

Part of the reason I haven’t felt like writing is work. Because I’m busy (Yay!) so I’m beat down by the time I get home. And also because of the heat (will you just shut the fuck up about the heat already? Jesus Christ, woman! It’s fucking summer. It’s going to be HOT.) (You know what else cheers me up? When I pretend yell at myself on my blog.)

No but seriously, heat tires you out. And sadly, with the office being warm, I go from hot house to hot car to hot work to hot outside to go get lunch in cafeteria that used to be cold, but now is also hot, back to hot office to eat to hot car to hot house. (Did you get all that?)

I seriously think it’s why I’ve started yelling obscenities. At strangers. From inside my car. With the windows WIDE OPEN. On the SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO. Not far from THE PRISON!! And also why if someone came up to my car window whilst I was sitting at a traffic light and bitch-slapped my ass, I’d be okay with it. Because damn, I’m deserving. Except when I was downtown on Michigan Avenue the other night and some fuckers couldn’t figure out to turn at a green light so I yelled (loudly) “Stay off the roads, tourists!” And it made a jogger smile. I’m here to entertain people.

Anyway, right, I’m busy at work. No more heat talk. I lurve being busy. It makes the day go by so fast. And I love being busy with the stuff I’m doing. I lurve my job! (I know I said that about the consulting place, but I think I was talking myself into it. And I loved the people (still do). Hated the work. And you know, hindsight and all that.)

Today I went on a tour of a plant we have. It was great. I’m a very visual person (and visually pleasing as well) so if I’m working for a company that makes stuff or does stuff, I need to see it in action. I can read propaganda brochures and literature until the cows come home, but I’m not going to get it until I see it. In action.

Well, now? I get it. I think that’s why I had such a hard time at Stick Up Their Asses Consulting. I don’t get it. I know I tried to tell you all about how we ruled and everyone needs consultants. And we’re not the Office Space consultants, yada, yada, yada. I don’t argue that consultants are needed in certain situations. But I never got what we were consulting for. I couldn’t go on a plant tour to see it in action. And if I did, it would be all “systems nvdiovnidoa and we like initials for everything mfdopwavmdopaw and computers ndiwaovnidoas worky worky fndiwaovnmdaios charge a lot per hour vndiavjdiosa fix things gobbeldy gook EQAC!”

(EQAC (ee-quack) stands for Enterprise Quality and Compliance. The one time I think that all the words together make less sense than the abbreviation. What the fuck does that mean?)

I mean I was dealing with invoices. And how much money is left on this PO? And can you forecast when this PO is going to run out? Dude. I am writer/PR person/Marketing/Communications. So, no. We don’t forecast. And Excel can do that? What??? It does more than add? Wha???

Again with the hindsight. Because I was perfectly happy there until all this shit went down (and no, I haven’t decided to tell my story yet. Still scared. Someday my gut will give me the green light. When I’m 73 and still blogging. And my cats are still alive. And my memory will remember it as “I went skiing and the company didn’t like that I wrote a letter about it to my mom and they fired me after 18 days.”) I loved the people and the job kept me busy enough. But I wasn’t going to be there long. Not with the way the corporate office in Seattle runs things. And because when it came down to it, I was always going to miss writing and editing and using my God-given abilities. None of which include accounting and invoicing and forecasting and complex quadratic equations in Excel.

So everything does happen for a reason. I’m with a great company. With a TON of history. And I’m enjoying what I do. And I’m really confident in my abilities. Because I’m doing what I know. And I am not afraid to share my opinions because I know when it comes to things like proofreading, publications, design, editing, marketing, etc., I know what the fuck I’m talking about. And I’m back at a company where teaching someone how to put a note in a PDF makes me a techy-nerd-genius type. And EQAC won’t be uttered. Unless an excited duck walks through the office. Eeeee! Quack!

The best part is that we have summer hours, so tomorrow? I have a half day! And I’m taking the train up to the racetrack to drink beer. And bet on the horsies. And hopefully win some money! Party in the Park Fridays, bitches! Giddy up!



  1. Summer hours!?!?!? Not fair! 😉 Enjoy the beer, yum!

  2. Um, what the heck are summer hours? If anyone should have summer hours – it’s me! And Chundley. We’re talking 110 today!

  3. It’s only June. It’s going to get hotter.

  4. Dude, notes in a .pdf? Do you have to have the editing version or just the read only version, if you know if you can do that, you have saved my world!!! I NEED TO DO THAT FOR WORK, OMG I SO HOPE YOU CAN HELP ME!

    Oh and I heart EXCEL, I am the bomb at equations and learning to do macros, woo hoo, nerd alert here!!

    OH and HEE HAW!

  5. I am challenging Schwerer to comment on this blog daily…think you can handle it??

  6. Daily, you want me to comment daily? Is there a timeframe? Do I get a reward?

  7. Reward? Of course…you will help increase the number of daily comments KJ gets! And, it will get you out of your shell 🙂

  8. Summer Hours? WTF?? Ya gotta luv when it is 113 outside:(

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