Posted by: kristabella | June 13, 2007

Tacky or Totally Awesome?

So I have like all these little things to mention. And since I’m tired and a lazy whore, you’re getting them all in the same post. Because these things? Must be written. And you must read them.

Item 1 – It’s still hot at work. Not as bad, but still my fuse is still on the short side. But no paper cutter accidents to speak of just yet.

Item 2 – While attempting to cool off last evening, I decided to treat myself to a refreshing ice cream bar. But apparently charging over $5 a box for Weight Watchers ice cream bars doesn’t cover actually putting the stick through the CENTER of the ice cream bar. Which when it is eleventy hundred degrees in my apartment ends up melting huge ice cream chunk right off the stick. And tumbling onto my damn white shirt. That was new. I should wear it to work and be all “see what this lack of air conditioning turned me in to? A hot mess.”

Item 3 – There’s this weird odor wafting through my house. It smells like wet dog. Or maybe cat ass. I don’t know. It’s not me. Believe me, I’ve smelled myself every which way till Tuesday. But I don’t like it. One bit! It could be the stench of the Cubs. I’m not that far from Wrigley.

Item 4 – I finally moved my gym. From downtown one with no accessible parking to one on my way home with free parking. FREE! Which now means I just have to go. Just so I can justify them taking $64 out of my account each month. I think I was last there in April.

And now! On to the real reason of this fabulous craptastic post!

Do you guys like these shoes? (Damn I have big-ass feet!)


I’m not sure I like them yet. Even though I’ve probably worn them a total of five times so far. Which makes this completely moot.

They are a lot more expensive than what I usually spend on shoes, especially sandals that are going to be tore up and probably smell like cat ass come the end of the summer. From the bare-footedness. Which leads to perspiration. Have I mentioned we have no air conditioning in the office? Or no real semblance of fake cold air? Or that heat makes me angry? (I use feeling words.)

(There’s that smell again. Could the cats have peed on something? What does cat piss smell like? Simba did puke on my slippers today. Which is his way of telling me that he doesn’t like it when I leave and that I need to TURN THE FUCKING HEAT OFF!!!) (See, Beavis, I told you.)

Anyway. We were talking about shoes. (No, it’s not the shoes that smell.) (I checked.) I’m not sure if I like these. They’re really flashy. I mean these are like Liza Minnelli jewels on these shoes. They make noise when I walk. Like I’m wearing 37 bangles on my arms. I’m not even kidding. I have started humming when I walk so people refer to me as “The Humming Girl.” As opposed to “Girl With Jingly Shoes” or “What the Fuck is That Noise?” or they just ask me where Santa and his reindeer are.

I tried asking the guy at work who I’m tight with because he’s also a smart ass and has a big mouth, and who dresses nice and is a clothes snob. And like I mentioned, will tell you what he thinks of these gaudy shoes!

He never gave me a definite answer. I think at one point he said they were kind of sexy. But his lack of praise or hate left me to believe he was trying to be nice. Since we’ve only known each other like 3 weeks. Or maybe he could give two shits about my bedazzled shoes. Probably the latter.

The one girl at work today complimented them. But my pants covered the bejeweledness of it all, so I’m not sure she really saw the bling bling. (I know! You’re having a hard time thinking of me in pants that go over my shoes! Like pants are supposed to! BRILLIANT!)

So I know they are hard to see, but what do you think? (I was going to take a photo with my foot in them, but I got a lot of weirdoes wanting to be my “friends” on Flickr after I took photos of my feet in shoes at the wedding in SF in February.) (And then I thought about giving you the link to but I don’t want my Mom all “you spent HOW much on a pair of tacky sandals???”)

Not that it matters. I can’t return them. This will just give me a guide as to if I should ever be caught dead in public again wearing them. And if I just wasted money on trying to be a flashy whore.

And yes, I already asked Bacon. He said “Boycott Tofu” and frankly, bacon, WTF?

Except he’s probably advising me to not even post this piece of dung since I’m probably going to end up tripping over the damn shoes that are sitting in the middle of the damn floor.

Bacon can also see the future, apparently. Is there nothing Bacon can’t do? Clearly, no.



  1. Love the shoes! Very different for the flip-flop girl.
    And I’ve been spending more on sandals, too. Can’t find everything at Payless, even though they will all probably still end up getting pitched at the end of the summer for being sweaty gross.

  2. If you work them, they’re awesome no matter what.

  3. Sorry, I’m one of those that needs to see you in them, with an outfit, before I can answer… So unless you set up a tripod, snap a pick and email it to me, I’m not sure.

    Boycott ice cream bars. Buy Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (no stick, lots of yum, just two points). 😉

  4. no, give them to goodwill.

  5. Hmmm…the shoes don’t seem “you” (that is a good thing 😉

    I have seen you pull off some sexy-ass strappy heels, and these…well, Kristin…I don’t think they scream sexy…

    Is there a way to de-jewel them?? Of course, they may look great on you…

    Cheers to stepping outside your comfort zone and trying a new type of shoes…Remember the red lace heels that I wore to the 10 year reunion? The ones that Schwerer picked out for me at Fredericks of Hollywood?? Not me (where are my running shoes!?!??!?)

    Yeah, I think I can relate…

  6. Ha! I’ve totally had the same shoe self-doubt. I have some gold strappies with big ol’ rhinestone cluster on the toe part. Half the time I think they’re cute and jazzy, the other half I think they’re a bit too juniors department. Speaking of, Seventeen (as in the magazine) now makes shoes. They’re all silver, some with clear heels — for seventeen-year-old strippers?

  7. Julie – In the summer I crave non-ice cream frozen treats. I like sherbet and popsicles, etc. Fruity , refreshing things. These were the WW sorbet and cream bars, which are awesome. Plus, I’m so over Skinny Cows. They taste like cardboard. I overdid them a few years ago.

    And these shoes aren’t really outside my comfort zone. Surprisingly most of my summer work sandals have some sort of bling on them.

    And again, shut up Rich.

  8. They look cute. They strike me more as “going out” shoes than “wear to work” shoes.

  9. I concur w/Christina…though I don’t know what your office vibe is like so it’s hard to say. I also think I would need to see the outfit, too. I like the WW crunch bars and am still okay w/Skinny Cows, though both are almost $5 here, too!

  10. UM WW has sorbet bars, going to grocery store right now!! And Julie, love the Skinny cow stuff!!

    “smelled myself every which way till Tuesday,” days later, I am still laughing over that, um could be the amount of beer we consumed today too….

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