Posted by: kristabella | June 1, 2007

I Don’t Know My Bon Jovi Song Titles

That’s for Senor Beavis. Who pointed out (nicely offline, not in the comments, as to not make me look like an asshole on teh interweb in fronts of my peeps) that I had the wrong song title for that Blake Lewis cover of the Bon Jovi song. And we had this whole long email conversation back and forth about the title and how I was convinced that iTunes listed it as Shot Through The Heart. Instead of You Give Love A Bad Name. And I remember agonizing (not really) over which was right when I posted it. Because I? Hate to be wrong. Seriously. Ask my brother, who hates to be wrong more than I do. We get into some heated battles. Usually we are both wrong. But we? Do. Not. Back. Down!

Well, as is usually true, I was wrong. Because the iTunes one is called You Give Love A Bad Name. So I’m the fucking idiot. Worst of all is that Bon Jovi (I either keep typing that Jovie or Jove, must we discuss my idiotdom any fucking further?) HAS a song titled Shot Through the Heart. And I stupidly downloaded that song for my iPod. And it’s completely different. (Go ahead and stone me Bon Jovi heads.)

Wow. I’ve reached a new level of head-up-my-assedness.

And hello! I grew up in the 80s! These are my tunes, kids. Word.

(Since you’re all dying to know, I also downloaded Blake’s When the Stars Go Blue and Time of the Season which were his other best, I think. There were 2 others available for download, but I do not just buy any crap. Only 3 of 5 crap.) (Except it’s not crap! I know!)

I was actually going to write a post about my douche bag of an ex-boyfriend. But I’m just not feeling hateful/spiteful enough to give it the justice it deserves. The best is that in my bad mistake of talking to him again after over a year, I gave him the blog address. So he might read it. Which is oodles better than writing about how much of a tool he is in a journal that no one ever sees. That makes my heart happy.

Instead. (I’m all over the fucking place. Deal.) I’m going to write about work. Because I’m like 8 days in and I know you’re all totally wondering how it is going. Because let’s face it. You all heart me so much it’s seeping out your pores. Natch.

Work is good. The end.

I kid. I kid. It’s actually going really well. Today? TODAY? I PROOFREAD! A LOT! SO MUCH SO I CAN’T STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS! SOMEONE SLAP ME! Whew. Thanks Simba.

Seriously, though. I’m really liking it. I like getting up and going to work. Well as much as a human can like that whole getting up before 10 AM thing. I’m starting to have things to do. And that makes me feel so much better because then I don’t feel like I’m stealing money. I’m proving my worth. And I think they are really appreciating the fact that I rock. I mean I think they figured that from the interviews, but now they are getting in up close. IN YOUR FACE proving my worth!

And I like it because it’s a lot of different things. It’s helping with the sales training next week. It’s working on the marketing calendar and working with all the GMs. It’s proofreading. (Did I mention the proofreading? Oh how I missed you so!) (I think it’s because this one guy is bad with the formatting. Which makes my proofreading heart grow three sizes. And might make me do an unprecedented cartwheel in the hallway.) (I don’t think you realize how much you miss something until you get it back. This goes for everything except ex-boyfriends.)

And the people are great. I’ve never worked for a huge company before. This one, for the privileged who know what company it actually is, is one of the biggest in Chicago. It’s great to see so many people on a daily basis. Who are all really cool. I’m sure all of them aren’t, but the ones I have to deal with on a daily basis are.

Friday is the big Cubs game outing. It should be a lot of fun. Unless I get stuck sitting next to the IT guy. Although then I can use all the acronyms I learned at Slalom that I never knew what they meant. He shall be impressed! EQAC. SQL. PKI. WTF. STFU. (The IT people are at a different facility. Don’t know them yet. Totally rushing to judgement.)

Senor Beavis, being the good friend that he is and knowing my, um, tendency to make an ass of myself with liquor in me (although I didn’t ever walk into a giant ice cream cone, thank you VERY much), is concerned that I’ll drink to much and be that girl. Probably because I’m that girl at every job I ever have. (What? It’s charming.) Niners? Check. (Kirk will vouch for that. If he can remember from all the booze he himself has consumed with me.) Dirt Company? Check. (Although I was younger than anyone by like at least 10 years. But no one else made out with DD. That I know of.) Slalom? Um, check. New job? Check, and even before my first official day.

But I get what he’s saying. Because well, he knows my track record at Cubs games. You all do. And not the impression you want to make in front of work people. Including the VP. Who is not Tom Brokaw. (Read: not a pompous ass.) Because she’s a she. And really laid back. And a huge Cubs fan. We get along great. In 8 days. And she was super impressed with the flat tire thing. Good thing that $145 expense got me a job!

What was I talking about? I was listening to Blake Lewis and daydreaming. What I was going to say before Blake crept into my subconscious was that I’ve always been lucky to work with drinkers. Not necessarily on my level. Because really? Who is. But people who enjoy to go out and enjoy a nice cold adult beverage. Or 10. But no more than 5. I swear there must be some sort of beacon out there that only I can see when I’m looking for jobs. The Booze Signal. It flashes a sign in the shape of a jug with XXX on it. (Like the cartoons? Moonshine? Come on people! I think my brother would be the only one to get that. And he doesn’t read this. Stupid unsupportive brother.) (Kidding!)

I have been at New Job for less than 2 weeks and we’ve already gone out for drinks twice after work. We went out tonight and some girl asked me if I was so excited to work with a “drinking crew” at New Job. And I told her I can always find the lushes, no matter where I go. Just a skill I have. That isn’t resume-listable. Sadly.

Surprisingly I can be that girl who doesn’t start dancing on the bar at company outings, or sings karaoke, or flips off her boss when he’s taking a photo to commemorate said company outing. At least I think I can. We shall see. It has yet to happen.

There is a first for everything.



  1. OK, second day for that Bon Jovi song (whatever the title is) to run through my head.
    I got the moonshine XXX jug reference. Probably cuz when I was growing up, there was a tavern in the neighborhood called the “Little Brown Jug” and I remember it.
    Please bring home a win for the Cubbies today! We need it…and you have such an excellent W/L percentage when you attend games.

  2. Hey, how do you know I wasn’t being self-serving and just didn’t want to make myself sound like an asshole on teh interweb? 🙂

    I totally get the XXX label.

    I’m really really glad it sounds like you’ve found such a great crew. Hope to get to meet some of these characters sometime. Have an awesome time today and somehow make sure the good Zambrano shows up.

  3. can’t wait to read about which stranger or co-worker you made out with in the coming days. and good triumph the insult comic dog reference. i keeeeeeed i keeeeeeeeed!

  4. LOL OMG, the ice cream cone thing, I completely forgot about that. It was HYSTERICAL. I LOL’ed when I read it on your blog just remembering it!

  5. OK, I used that title in my comment! But IN MY DEFENSE I was like, “Wait … is that right?” and then I went back and looked at your post and then I was like, “OK, that’s what she has, so I’m good.” HA!

  6. Don’t forget the lush brigade at your ASU job:)

  7. Shhhh, Chundley! I was underage! 🙂

    Want to hear something funny? I sat next to the IT guy at the game. And her was very nice. See? They are ALL nice at new job!

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