Posted by: kristabella | May 16, 2007

Two Days

That’s all I have left of Slackerdom. And after (counts on hands) (has to get up to look at calendar) four weeks (to the day) of sitting on my ass, well, let’s just say I’ve gotten really used to it.

I’ve literally turned into a sloth. Or, more apropos, a cat. I spend all day just sitting around. Either on the computer. Or watching TV. Or reading. And I can usually only stay awake for about an hour at a time before I fall asleep. Like a cat, see? I’m so exhausted that I can’t even stay awake for 8 hours. How freaking sad is this?

I know it’s because I’m sooooo bored that when I’m sitting there on the couch, a little cat nap sounds fan-flippin-tastic. And what’s to stop me, right? Except that at 11 o’clock at night, I’m wide awake becoming intimately acquainted with late night TV. (Read: Nick at Nite) (How have I never realized your awesomeness before? Oh right. Sleep. Work. Job.)

And I know, I should get out and do something. And some days I do. Like yesterday, I had to drive to new office to drop off some paperwork. But that just made me angry. Because it was fucking 90 degrees in May (MAY!) and I don’t have air conditioning in my car. And I decided I didn’t need to shower (don’t judge) and really? It was like the smell of rotting meat in the sun. Jesus woman. Hygiene is a good thing.

I’ve been unemployed before. From February 1, 2005 through June 28, 2005. (Not to be specific or anything) That’s almost 5 whole months. (Math + me = good friends) But I had things to do then. I spent all of February in California packing up my shit and burning right through my severance with lunches and dinners and movies! Oh my!

I didn’t spend a second of that month looking for a job. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to be all “oh, silly hiring person-man, I won’t be there for a whole ‘nother month. Can you pencil me in for early March?” (Oh, and don’t tell California unemployment that. They’d be mad at me.)

Once I moved back to IL and moved in with my brother and sister-in-law, I hit the pavement. Nose to the grindstone. And all that nonsense. The thing about looking for jobs is that doing it every day doesn’t do much. Most companies post jobs at the beginning or end of the week. So you spend one solid afternoon applying and changing cover letters, and you’ve pretty much hit it all on Monster and Career Builder.

But when I was unemployed then, I showered. I did things. Because I lived with people. Including a three-year old and a pregnant woman. A three-year old who just wanted to play! With his Auntie!

A lot of days I did stay inside and work. I busted my ass trying to get a job. Talk to any person who has left the NFL or sports and ask them what it is like trying to get a job in the corporate world. That first job after sports is not easy. People think that working in sports is just parties and drugs and watching games and dicking around on the Internet. Well for some people, maybe. But not for most of the people I know. But corporate people are either clueless or jealous. Or a little of both. Hello, corporate goons? Public relations is public relations. McDonald’s or football. SAME.

Some of the days I wished for the days of living by myself. It’s hard to go from living by yourself to living with people, let alone family and a child. But looking back on my lazy ass for the last (has to look up to first sentence because still doesn’t know how many days it has been) 4 weeks, I wish I had that. It forced me to interact with people. Using my voice. And not my fingers. And damn! My brother’s desk chair is so comfortable! And mine? Well, there’s a reason why it was $19.99 at IKEA.

Wednesday I have to go downtown to officially “work” for my new job. They are having a sales meeting (it better not be one of these types of sales meetings.) And want me to come down and meet people. Also, these are the type of meetings I’m going to be planning in my new role. So yay!

But not. I have to be downtown at 7:30. IN THE MORNING. And let’s just say, in the last 4 weeks (didn’t have to look up! I rule!) odds are better that I’ve stayed up until 7:30 AM than actually got up at that time.

At least it will be nice to wear grown-up clothes. And maybe heels? (Yes, dork, you should wear heels. Flip flops are not proper business attires. Especially as a first impression.) And will be good to interact with people. Like face to face and all that.

Oh, and I also found out that new company is having an outing on June 1. To the Cubs game.

Look. Out.



  1. Ummm, “February 1, 2005 through June 28, 2006”? Isn’t that a year and five months?;)

  2. U and Math not really = good

  3. hey, did i tell you i used to have a girlfriend for two years? it was from march 2004-december 2004…

  4. Stop it, Rich! She’s at work & not even able to defend herself….or make the correction. (Don’t tell her I laughed out loud when I read your comment!)


    Do you SEE now why I need a job? To use my brain? And not melt it away watching Nick at Nite and the Game Show Network? Do you SEE?

    Because I damn well do!

    This is two damn days in a row. And no excuse, except I was typing during the GG finale. And my heart was hurting and the teardrops were all over the keyboard.

    Scarlet can help me out on that one!

  6. I totally can’t remember what I was going to say now, because I’m too busy laughing. ha ha.

  7. As your extremely repressed conscience, I might tell you to exercise restraint at the Cubs game. Except for when rooting for the Cubs. 🙂 Go McDreamy Theriot!

  8. I think I did enough damage last night at Howl. So it might be a dry Cubs game for me on the company outing. 🙂

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