Posted by: kristabella | April 24, 2007

Something Seems Oddly Familiar

I don’t know if I’ve ever had that distinct feeling of deja vu. I’ve never had that feeling just grab you by the innards and shake you to the core like “I’ve been here/done this before.” And I’m not sure it really exists. I mean isn’t it only possible if you’re Bill Murray? Or in Woodstock? Or Taye Diggs on that show that lasted two episodes?

Well today I had two interviews. And it’s like I went back in time to last fall because it is happening all over again. More interviews! More talking about myself! (Which, isn’t much of a stretch!) More selling myself! For. Sale. I will say, this time around is going far more smoothly. And I’m all for that because swiftness would be a good thing this time.

From March to June of 2005, before I got my job in mulch, I had plenty of interviews. A lot of them were with headhunters. But since I hadn’t interviewed since college, I was all kinds of rusty. I mean, my interviews in college consisted of talking to my at the time current boss at ASU, shooting the shit with a dude from UCLA during the Pac-10 Track & Field Championships and talking to Kirk about wrestling. I never really interviewed until 10 years after graduating from high school. In sports, you either have the experience or you don’t. And you either get it, or you don’t. And dudes, I get it. Durr.

I remember my first phone interview after getting the boot from the Niners and moving back to Chicago. I was at a loss for words. Me! The talky talky one! But as I did a few more and figured out the “right” answers, I got a lot better. And then POOF! I finally got a job. Pushing dirt.

I started looking for a new job back in July. Again, lots of interviews. Some more bad, bad ones. Like the one I was late for because it took me over an hour to go 5 miles. And the dude says “yeah, I know, I live in far away suburb that has no real straight shot to get to and from and it takes me an hour too.” And I sat there, looked at him, punched him in the face and said “I live five miles away, douchebag. Five!” And walked out of the room.

OK, none of that happened. Well, I didn’t punch him. I did try and stress that 5 miles is close. And apparently with his fancy Director title, he forgot that 5 is less than 40!

After that, I flubbed the whole interview. (Durr, again.) And then they asked me to do a hypothetical marketing campaign for people who eat cat litter and how would I bring them in to get checked out by a doctor to make sure they weren’t going to die. My answer? “People are dumb and if they want to eat cat litter, let them.” And I seriously crawled under her desk and asked her to tell me when my half hour was up.

I never heard back from them. Not even the customary “we couldn’t want anyone less” kiss off letter.

That was a bad one. The worst one. Didn’t help that I was hung over because we had our company outing the day before. On a booze cruise. Guess who was in charge of planning that? Oh, and we went to rooftop to watch a Cubs game the year before. Whoever planned those is a fucking genius. (And maybe a tad bit of an alcoholic.)

I think most people have a good idea in an interview if they’re going to at least get a call back. I mean, you never know who you’re up against. You could be up against some idiot savant who got their MBA at age 16. You never know. But you know how well you’ve done. And you can only do your best. (Gag.)

I’ve never had a kick-ass interview and not gotten the job. And now, this will happen to me. And it’s too late to take it back. I’ve been thinking it since this afternoon.

Today’s interviews went really well. I had two. I rule. The morning interview was a second interview. It’s for a job I REALLY want. I’m perfect for it. It’s like everything I’m good at all rolled into one role. And I feel really good about the interviews. I met with four different people. Everyone was awesome and nice. Me = perfect fit. And I was there for almost 3 hours! Good, right?

But then, they still have more people to interview. Enter Idiot Savant, stage left.

This afternoon I had another interview downtown for a different position. Again, it would be a great job for me. I’m totally qualified for it. And it too went really well. It’s some executive assistant duties plus some PR. And they want someone who can handle many tasks, a multi-tasker, if you will. They want Master of All, which it happens to say on my resume.

But again, more people to interview. Still would have to come back in for a second interview. And for reals? Being unemployed just gives you way too much fucking time to sit around and think about it. And nitpick everything you said. And what you forgot to say. And what you should have not said and just kept deep in the recesses of your crazy, messed up head.

And a lot of it is the needing of the swiftness. The requirement, really. The unemployment will help for a bit. But it’s not going to pay all the bills for an extended period of time. Which is fine, because I can go get a part-time job or a temp job if need be. I’m not above that. (Well, I am, but mama needs to pay the rent.) It just has to be the right position that pays more than unemployment per week or really, what is the point?

The point is that I can easily get very used to this not working thing. And I’m afraid of getting even lazier. (Shut up. It’s possible!)



  1. I remember that interview that was “5 minutes away”….this time, you’re rightly knocking their sox off. Who wouldn’t kill to have you working for them????
    You go, girl!!!!!

  2. “It’s like everything I’m good at all rolled into one role… I met with four different people. Everyone was awesome and nice.”

    so you made out with each person? NICE!

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