Posted by: kristabella | March 15, 2007

Do You Know What That Means?

Finally! An EL story!

So I was standing on the platform at the Belmont station this morning, waiting for to transfer (yes I know I just typed “for to”) to the Red Line.

I stand in the same spot every day. I know where to stand to get in the car that lets me off right by the stairwell at the Grand stop. That stairwell is also by the recycling newspaper receptacle. I’m still a California tree hugger at heart. I can’t stand throwing newspapers away.

So anyway, back to the Belmont stop. I’m standing at my spot right at the top of the stairwell. I’m jammed in there, because there are a ton of people waiting. As per usual.

So this woman says “excuse me” and squeezes past, in front of me, to move further down the platform. (Don’t even get me started on the fact that she could have gone BEHIND the horde of people. Which also wouldn’t have put her inches away from falling to her death on the tracks. But, people are dum.)

Right after that, this dude does the same thing. He says “excuse me” and I step to the side (like my leg was broken. Shakin’ and twistin’, kinda like I was smokin’. Crazy wack funky. “You look like MC Hammer on crack, Humpty!”) (I’m going to have that song in my head all day now.) As much as I can without falling down the fucking stairs.

Right as he’s squeezing in between me and the 800 other people on the platform, he stops, turns and says to me (wait for it, wait for it.)

“Do you know what that means?”


So I say (because it was early and my snark level was at a low) “I moved over. Jesus Christ!”

At this point, this dude, who is five foot nothing, stops, turns and then thinks better of it. Since I’ve got about 8 inches on him. And he’s standing awfully close to the edge of the platform. Inches from the tracks.

And I just don’t know what I’m capable of at 8 AM when I haven’t had any coffee yet.



  1. Oh what a wanker! And I hate it when I don’t think of appropriate snark until much later.

  2. I’d have pushed him.

  3. It makes me crazy when I’m on the train and the train is getting near my stop and someone gives the perfunctory FU “Excuse Me,” and tries to push past me to the door. I always look back at them and say, annoyed, “I’m getting off here too.”

  4. “Do you know what this (insert me flipping guy off here) means?”

  5. This kind of thing doesn’t happen in McHenry 🙂

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