Posted by: kristabella | February 26, 2007

The 64 Dollar Question

People. People! Peeeee-pull. I joined a gym. Me! I joined one! For fuck’s sake!

Shocking, I know.

So the money/gym gods must have been looking down upon me today. (Like the satellite TV gods were looking upon me last night, turning my TV back on right before the telecast.) See, I really need to join a gym. What with that stupid running thing I got myself into. And running outside in the snow and cold so isn’t going to get me motivated.

I had all intentions to join after I got back from Seattle.

But then? They made me pay for that hotel room. And as you saw, it ain’t a cheap room. Now granted, we get the room at like half price (let me know if you’re going to Seattle!), but still, it’s a lot of money. And I? Do not have any money. So I had to put that room on my debit card. Which meant, there went all my cash until payday. Which is this Thursday. (Thank God!)

Anyway, so with the prospect of no money. And not wanting to put it on my credit card, (that would be no way of getting out of debt) I was putting it off. And NOT running. Which, lose-lose for me. (Or win-win. Depends on how you look at it.)

But today, when walking past the gym, I saw a beacon of light. Shining down on the sign out in front of the building. And a choir of angels, singing. “$0 Initiation Fee.” My first thought? Cool, I’ll do it tomorrow. But seriously, how many times have I said that. So I went in. And I signed up. For a gym! And hell did not freeze over. Not yet anyway.

And since they bill on the 3rd of the month, I had to pay $2.06 for Feb. Two dollars. That? I can do. And then they’ll take $64 out of my checking account on the 3rd. Which is after payday. (Hallelujah!) (There’s that damn angel choir again.)

I know what you’re saying, “$64 for a gym membership? Have you gone bat-shit crazy, woman??”

The answer? Probably. But here’s the deal. I have no motivation. I will sit on my ass and not run and then that f’ing Shamrock Shuffle will come up and Kah-pie-ow! I fall dead of a heart attack running. And DON’T get the free beer. (Travesty. A damn travesty.)

Now there are other gyms. But those ones either A) cost over $100 a month or B) require me to get on the train and then get off to go work out. Let me keep it real, yo. That won’t happen. If I get on the train, I’m not getting off until it is the stop by my house. Word.

So my new gym, well it’s right by the red line stop. I have to walk past it every day. Yes, I could take the long way to the train, but since I am the epitome of laziness, I will walk past it every day. And I will be guilted into going inside. Because I’m a ginormous fucking pushover.

Don’t believe me? I signed up for the free personal training session. And am already dreading having to not take any more personal training sessions. Know why? They’re expensive. There’s a reason only rich people have personal trainers.

But how am I going to walk past that chick every day? Knowing, full well, she could make me look like this. For the low, low price of $1800.


Well, minus the dress and the fine-ass hair. Daaaaaammmmmn. Ryan Phillippe is such an ass.



  1. good thing to do, congrats. i too have to pass my gym everyday on the way home. actually, i just take 2 hour lunches and go work out, but it is still on the way home. and i’ve lost 5 lbs in 4 weeks, so you have fun with that.

  2. Good for you! You definitely chose wisely with the location on your way home. I always feel like a sci-fi hamster drone on the treadmill, but hey, the Shamrock Shuffle’s not going to run itself. 🙂 Let’s do a training run together when it gets nice out!

  3. Yeah, I’m not a big treadmill person either. Which is why I chose this gym. They have tons of good classes, including spinning, which I’ve always wanted to try.

  4. Good for you can’t wait to call you a skinny ass bitch!

  5. Awesome…my gym costs $64 too! Spin classes are a good workout. You should like that…

    Be careful with your shins…don’t go too crazy on the treadmills! I will have to join in on one of those training runs once it gets warmer outside!!

    I heart running by the lake!

  6. I kinda hear ya on this one. Ain’t no way in HELL I would join a gym near my house (remember, I live in the country*) because I never ever want to run into someone from high school who now has 5 kids or something. Oh and the only nearby gym is Curves…no thanks. But a gym farther away just isn’t going to happen. It just isn’t.

    But if I could look like Reese? OMG. I might do it. Does a gym membership come with a straightener?

    *”We’re country!”

  7. It comes with straightener and fancy party dress!

    I’m with you. No way I would be motivated to go out of my way to work out. Believe me, I’ll even find reasons not to go to the gym I HAVE TO WALK PAST!

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