Posted by: kristabella | February 6, 2007

It’s a Big State

First off, a hearty congratulations to myself on reaching a new all-time high in blog hits. It was on Monday with a impressive 254! Mostly because of my post titled I Hate Rex Grossman. And while I’ve mentioned before that the post doesn’t have much to do with Rex, I am happy to know that there are SO MANY Rex haters. And I must congratulate myself. Because if I don’t, who will?

I read a lot of blogs. Well, used to. My job actually makes me do work. The absurdity! And there are a lot of seasoned bloggers who have very loyal readers and expect them to write every day. I don’t think I’m anywhere near that. I think the closest I got was when I got strep throat and had been posting every day and people were wondering where I was. But that was also because I wasn’t answering e-mails or anything.

But this weekend when I was in San Francisco, the blog was mentioned. A lot! So I’m going to have some new readers. Who have been waiting patiently to read all about themselves. (Hi Michelle!) We’re all attention seeking whores like that.

So I had an awesome time. I apologize for not blogging while I was there. (I shouldn’t apologize to you. It’s my blog and I will do what I want!) (Sorry…please don’t stop reading. I heart all of you.) But somehow one of the most technologically advanced cities in America doesn’t have free wireless or free high speed in some of their hotels. I’m talking to you Parc 55. You’re on notice! So it was $14 a day and just started to makes less and less sense since I was only using it for about 30 minutes. And 29 of those minutes were checking my work e-mail. Because I felt all guilty taking a vacation when I just started. And $14 a day is a lot to spend. That’s like two whole beers in San Francisco! (Chicago isn’t a cheap city by any means. But damn I forgot just how expensive San Francisco is. Especially when it comes to booze. No wonder I’m in so much debt.) And also, all that booze meant I was drunk and in no posting shape. I didn’t get much sleep as it is.

OK, I’ll shut up now and talk about the trip. Thursday night we went out to 1,100 bars before we finally decided on four. Seriously. We planned to go to Amnesia. It was a decent looking place. But then it didn’t open until 6. (Which isn’t a problem for most people. But we’re a bunch of drunks. And? 6 PM Pacific is 8 PM Central so I was already way behind.) So we went to The Phoenix, which made sense since (sense since, say that 5 times fast) the Lauersdorfs are from the A-to-the-Z. When Amnesia opened (finally) we found out they were having a some sort of film forum. Which we didn’t think would be a problem, until it was really a panel of people taking questions. And we are loud. And got dirty looks. So we left. After chugging our drinks. We couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Meanwhile, Teri is supposed to be meeting us. I leave a message that we’re going back to The Phoenix. We’re not. Thomas wants to go to Beauty Bar. Fine. “Teri, we’re going to Beauty Bar.” Beauty Bar is closed. (It’s like 7 at this point. Maybe.) OK, we’re going to Cha-Cha Bar. But standing out front, we decide to go to Bruno’s. Finally. “Teri, we’re at Bruno’s.” (She made it and wasn’t irritated by the high schoolishness of it all. Because Bruno’s has booze. And Teri, much like myself, loves the sauce.)

We sat at Bruno’s for a bit. Had some mojitos and some beers. And some chips and salsa. And some veggies and dip. That were sitting out. We thought it was like a happy hour buffet. It wasn’t. There was some group there for some champagne launch or something. We wondered why we got dirty looks with our scavenging ways of the chip plate. (Wow. We got lots of dirty looks that night.)

We ended up at Cha-Cha Bar again to eat. Then we went to a gay bar. My first one ever. It was fun. Nothing like dancing to awesome music with the hottest men in the world. Who cares if they aren’t interested in you. I like to look at pretty people. We left pretty early because, well, we started early. And I was still on Chicago time. And mostly? I drank a vat of beer. In my EL shirt.


Man I need to lose weight. Yuck! But hey! Cute shirt!

Friday was Napa day. (I’m starting to realize I should have written some posts along the way because this is going to be long. And boring. But you’ll read. Because I’ll have photos.) It was me, the Haroersdorfs and Sharona (who was awesome enough to drive up there so we didn’t have to worry about paying for transportation.) We got a little turned around on the way up there. Sharona asked me to pull out the California map. I think I was thinking it was going to be a Northern California map. (Even though the front clearly said CALIFORNIA.) But when I pulled it out and saw LA, I might have blurted out “it’s a big state.” (Hilarity ensued.)

We went to six wineries. SIX. I’m sure for those of you who have never been to wine country to do tastings that six doesn’t seem like a lot. But you have to figure in driving from winery to winery. And the fact you’re getting to taste at least five different wines at each place. And, if you’re such wine connoisseurs like ourselves, they might let you taste even more. (Although, I think it was because it was Friday and no one was there.) So a lot of wine was consumed. We made friends. We had Hank, our guy at Grigch Hills. Who was very informative. (Did you know that fume blancs only use French Oak? Or something like that.)

Then there was John at V. Sattui. (Which I’ve always referred to as Hee Sop Choi. Which was funny when he played for the Cubs and people knew who he was. Hee Sop, where have you gone?) But this winery is the place to go for lunch. They have this huge deli with all these cheeses and meats and bread. So you can make a little picnic. And they have free tastings (FREE) and cheap wine (CHEAP) which is decent. John liked us. Although he thought we were from Oakland. Sharon is. But I think it’s because we were rowdy. Although still offensive if you’re not actually from Oakland. One tasting in he realized I was from Chicago. Apparently, we have accents. Da Bears! But he let us try a shitload of reds. They have a lot of wines. He even wanted was forced to take his photo with us.


We like wine. And have three more wineries to hit after this one.

Friday night we met up with Betsey and Hoddy, the bride and groom to be. And got to see some old friends from back in the day. All of two years ago when I used to live there. Was a long day.

Saturday we went to the farmer’s market at the Ferry Building. Which I highly recommend for any of you visiting. They have a whole station of cheese. And you can try as many as you like. I was like a pig in slop. Or a pig eating cheese. Then we went to Frjtz, which isn’t owned by the guy who used to work at the Niners with me. (Thank God because I would have picketed. Or something.) But it’s a Belgian place with basically beer and Belgian fries. Which are awesome! They are like double-fried and just all heart-attack causing goodness.

After lunch, Haro and I went to get whored out our make-up done at the MAC counter in Nordstrom. Which was super fun. It’s nice to get all gussied up like a whore girl sometimes. (Heeeee! How many times can I say whore?) But it’s a lot more make-up than I’m used to. Not for long. Seeing as I spent $120 on MAC shit. But I looked hot. And now own fake eyelashes.


See the one on the left totally has a fake eyelash on it. Am dead sexy.

The wedding was so beautiful. They got married in this little chapel in the Presidio, which is an old military base near the Golden Gate bridge. And then had their reception at a restaurant in the Financial District. It was a great time. We obviously sat at that table. We were loud. And drank a lot. And came up with many things that were blog worthy. (They made fun of my little notebook that I write notes in. Until they realized how fun it was.) The crew consisted of me, Lori & Mike, Michelle, Andrew and Todd. The hair stylist guy was there. His name was Hunter. But before Michelle could remember his name, all she could remember was it started with H. So he was only known as Helmut.


Hey sexy ladies boys, this is Andrew. He’s single and chilly living in Minnesota. Give him a buzz at (612) 555-6789. He needs something someone to warm him up.

Other notes from the evening, which got really hard to read as the night went on. (That must have been since I drank all the Jack in the bar. Seriously. They ran out. I had to switch to 7 & 7s. That’s a LOT of whiskey.)

Michelle lives to drink. She had four drinks at one time.


Sometimes you don’t need a man. You need a man friend. (Todd is my man friend.)


Our waiter, Sexy McSexypants (which I called him and gave him my number) (to meet us out after the wedding, duh!) who had no personality and was wearing a friendship necklace from 1992 (according to Michelle (AKA M Wizzle.) (We make up the team of M Wizzle and the K Jizzle.) Here’s Hottie McSexyton.


It was an awesome time. We drank a lot. And I left SF early Sunday morning (almost oversleeping because I full on passed out with my dress on and every light in the room on and apparently we had pizza because I saw a greasy plate sitting on the nightstand. Next to my book. Which I forgot.) and barely made it back in time to catch the game. (Don’t fly into Midway. It took me an hour to get my bags.) And I paid $50 there to drink all I could in three hours. Which I did. Which is why I think I’m still drunk, days later.


And that pretty much sums it up. See the rest of the photos here.



  1. Never been to a gay bar before? In 2007, let’s hear it for the boy. Seriously. At least on pride parade. Roscoe’s is fab (souvenir cups). Makeup looks hot!!!

  2. I added you on flickr!

    And now I want wine. Oh wait, it’s 9:46am.

  3. Great pictures, as usual, but I missed your usual editorial comments on the photos. Loved the makeup, the dress looks good….and the feet pictures were awesome.

  4. Ah…such good times! Miss ya already!

  5. P.S. – did you send your blog address to Maria, etc…?

  6. You forgot to mention that Andrew puked at the Hyatt after the wedding. He’s classy!

  7. Man, I wish I remembered that happening at the Hyatt. If I hadn’t gotten pizza, I would have been in the same boat.

    Nothing wrong with wine before 10 AM. It’s happy hour somewhere!

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