Posted by: kristabella | January 17, 2007

When Memes Go All Worky – Memworky

A couple of random thoughts on this Wednesday evening.

First, it is bloody cold in my apartment. That means it’s butt ass cold outside. Which it is. I don’t control it. Big Brother does. And apparently Big Brother doesn’t think it is cold enough in here. And I don’t have to pay for heat, which is good. But come on radiators! Turn the fuck on!

Some days, taking public transportation sucks. Like when you wait 15 minutes for a Red Line train. That are supposed to run every five minutes. And the fucking track closures aren’t supposed to start until April. My calendar says January 17. Please, let me know if I’ve been in a coma for three months. And please tell me why it’s 10 degrees in April for Christ’s sake!

Does anyone else hate the auditions on American Idol? So. Many. Bad. Singers. I can only take a little of it. I usually TiVo it, but then don’t watch until Hollywood. Because there are still bad singers. And OH the drama with making people work together in groups! (Yes, Senor, we know you hate American Idol.)

So today was the first day in my 8 days at my new job that I actually kinda sorta wanted to be working at my old job. I know what you’re thinking. “How could you bitch about a place so much and now you miss it?” or you’re thinking “you are an insane bitch. Am done with you.”

Well, person number one (poop on you person number two and your hateful comments and I don’t want you as a reader anyway.) (Wait! Wait! Come back. Please don’t go. I want readers. And am a whore for the stats and the comments.) (Am starting to think I am really insane. Maybe you should all just walk away.) Anyway, I missed the old job for all the nothing that I did. All the time I had to sit around and read blogs, and news stories, and comment on blogs, and watch videos on blogs and all the e-mailing! Now? I fucking have work to do! Like, all the God damned time. What is wrong in the universe?

I do like it. My days fly by. Before I know it, it’s 5:30 and I’ve already worked late. (But not really because I roll in about 8:40. But still.) I like that I’m starting to get things to do. And I’m totally starting to get it. A little. Good times. But I miss my blog reading. I try and catch up at night. And I read a few during lunch,  but it’s not the same. That little fucking screen on the laptop is really straining my eyes. Maybe I can get a doctor’s note or something?

(This so isn’t what this post is about.)

So the big kickoff meeting is next week in Seattle. We had our weekly Business Development call today (first job I’ve had where business development actually develops business.) (I just realized every full-time job I’ve had has had a business development role. Weird. Two words. David. Goldman.) (I wonder if I’ll get any Google hits for that one.) And they talked about this questionnaire I had to fill out. Well, not just me. I’m cool, but I’m not that cool. Everyone has to fill one out. It’s a getting to know you kind of thing. Part of me thinks this is going to come back and haunt us sometime during this meeting. This questionnaire came in an e-mail from the CEO. Personally. He was excited to meet me. That’s kind of cool that the freaking CEO e-mails me personally. Apparently from what I hear, he’s that cool.

So I open this puppy up. All seven pages of it. And I now know what it was like for all those professional football players that I forced to do questionnaires all those years for the yearbook. Not so easy, as I stupidly assumed.

A few samplings of the questions:

Imagine you lived in a mansion on a big circular drive. What would you put in the center of the drive for everyone to see as they came to your house?

My answer? The big statue of Harry Caray that’s outside Wrigley. Which, if I’m in a mansion, I’m rich and don’t have to steal said statue.

What would you do if you were independently wealthy?

The “sample” had answers about solving poverty, giving money to charity. My answer? Buy the Cubs and finally get some good pitching. And give some to the needy and shit.

If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

I came up with a few. But I put down I Got Five On It, which is a song about weed. But I put it because we lived on the fifth floor of the dorm. And it was our theme, bitches. I also put First of the Month, which is by Bone Thugs n Harmony, so must also be about weed. But we always sang it when we had to pay rent. I think of college when I hear those two songs. And no, not because we smoked so much weed. I actually never did in college. Seriously. I wouldn’t lie to you internet.

People wouldn’t believe that when I was growing up, I:

I think I wrote about broken bones and being a New Kids on the Block fan. I don’t remember being a kid. And why would I want to share awkward period with co-workers?

You just won a gold medal in the Olympics, what event was it and what bonus song would you play after the national anthem?

Um? The TiVo marathon competition? With all the button pushing. I said luge. With Ice, Ice Baby as my song.

If you had to change your first name, what you change it to?

Lolita

OK, I guess it’s not that bad. But it’s different when it’s work people. I found myself starting to get a little snarky with a few, but changed my answers. I still managed to sneak in some clever comments. They had the one about telling three things your co-workers don’t know about you. And I wanted to say I had a blog. Oh, but I can’t. Not that I’ve said anything bad, but I like that I’m able to say whatever I want here about my work, good or bad. This is my place away from work. No one at my old place knows I have it either. Mostly because of the DD stuff. And because I rip on people. That think I like them. Heeeee.

And now, I must go. It’s Lolita’s bed time.

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Responses

  1. When you’re in Seattle next week, I hope no one sings…the inhumanity!!! I couldn’t handle more than a few minutes at a time. After watching the AI auditions in Seattle, I was very frightened for you being there next week. Scary people. (sorry $tabone)
    I like “Lolita”….just what you need, another nickname. I’ll also have to tell Claudia/Luge Lady that your imaginery Olympic medal was in luge! Ice, ice, baby….

  2. “1st of the Month” isn’t just about weed; it’s about using your welfare checks to buy it. I also think of Chris Rock talking about that song. “[Brothers] are singin’ WELFARE carols!”

    I think you’ll be safe. I sincerely doubt Seattle’s famewhores are worse than any other city’s. Actually, American Idol would probably be much better on DVR, since you can FF through all the bullshit and just watch people sing. (See, positive attitude).

    Paraag thinks you like him? 🙂

  3. I’m totally going to get called out on the weed stuff. Should be interesting. Although, I’m hoping a lot of them don’t know what those songs are or what they mean.

    Seattle is full of a lot of weirdoes, so I’m pretty sure the bad singers are the least of my problems! 🙂

  4. Just caught up with your blogs…TiVo marathoning – love it! Have fun in Seattle and see you soon in SF.

  5. Can’t wait for SF! Oh the stories we’ll have to tell! KJ & The Haroersdorfs back together again! 🙂

  6. ummm, answering those questions for work…I DONT’ THINK SO! Luge & Ice, Ice Baby…that was a great one!


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