Posted by: kristabella | December 28, 2006

Am Suck An Asshole

(I promise you, that title is not meant to be dirty. And I should change it. But it’s funny. I promise you in a few short paragraphs, you’ll see the funny too.) (Oh, and I can’t wait to see the hits I get off of Google with this one!) 

And I was worried I wouldn’t have anything to write about today.

So I figured I would send out my farewell e-mail to all my work peeps today, in case I forget and don’t get around to it tomorrow. You know with all the crying celebrating. And the clock watching.

So I compose a very nice e-mail. Telling everyone how to get a hold of me. And that it was a pleasure to work with all of them. And that I’ve really enjoyed my year and a half here. And keep in touch. KIT! BFF! Have a kick ass summer!

Two seconds later, my phone rings. And I’m all “man, I’m so loved at this company. They just couldn’t wait to wish me a fond farewell.”

Um, no. Am an idiot. Who, despite years as a self-proclaimed proofreading Nazi, had a bit of a slip in my goodbye e-mail.

It went something like this:

I hope I’m lucky enough to work with suck great people at my next job.

(Suck. SUCK! Oh, the humanity!)

And then I crawled under my desk. To die of embarrassment. Because karma is a bitch and struck me down for making fun of my cousin. Although, mine was totally on accident. I know the difference between suck and such.

It seriously must have been a Freudian slip. I mean, it was a complete line of bullshit. I hope I work with much cooler people. And nicer. And younger. And people who don’t bitch about every little thing. And who all look like DD.

But to diffuse my error, I sent out another e-mail. To inform everyone that yes, I am already drunk. And will be under my desk the rest of that day. In the fetal position

Thank you. Here are all my red pens back.

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Responses

  1. How funny! That sucks.

  2. Holy vagina that cracked me up! Totally something I would do.


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