Posted by: kristabella | December 11, 2006

WWJD – What Would Jack Do?

Whatever, I’m going to hell anyway.

(On a side note, still haven’t gotten the official offer letter yet. One more day of this and I’ll have an ulcer. Actually not really. I’ve gone into full on senioritis mode. I am not doing shit. Today, I looked for a new work bag. And watched Dennis Erickson’s press conference online. Which by the way is very surreal. It’s weird to know the ASU head coach so well. And he’s bringing two of the assistants I know really well. Good luck, The ‘Rickson!)

This post is actually about Lost. The show. Have you seen it?

So last spring-ish, I started watching the first season of Lost on DVD. I was immediately hooked. I have NO idea what the hell is going on, but I pretend like I do, so I watch. One night, I swear, I watched 7 episodes. In a row. That’s a lot of f’ing TV. Even with no commercials.

Now I’ve moved on to the second season. I Netflix it, one DVD at a time. (I made Netflix a verb. Awesome.) I’m through the second disc. Again, I have to watch one entire disk in a sitting. (I couldn’t figure out which way I liked to spell disc/disk, so I gave each a turn.) I’m hooked. I HAVE to know what is happening. Even though I have no idea what is happening.

So I got to thinkin’. What would I do in that situation? (Let’s forget the fact that how does a whole mother fucking plane go missing for 48 days (I’m in the second season, people) and NO ONE finds it?!?!?!?!?) (Yes, Cindy (Cindy on the show. Not The Jens) just explained to me that they were off course and they lost radio contact. But puh-leeze. It’s a fucking JET! Did no one in LA wonder where an entire plane went??? In 48 damn days, you could comb the Earth.) (Did anyone else just picture that scene from Spaceballs? “We ain’t found shit!”)

Any-who…I would not last. On The Island. I would sure as hell hope that I was in the front of the plane with Jack. I mean, he looks good in a sleeveless shirt. But he also is a good leader. And a doctor. And did I mention he’s a cutie? My, how Charlie Salinger has grown up.

But me? I like showers. I mean, I hate having to get out of bed to take them. But after a day or two, in sweat-inducing-make-you-feel-all-sticky-and-shit humidity no less, I’m going to want a good shower. Not bathing in the ocean. In front of people. With, I’m just taking a stab here, NO SOAP!

I also like food. And don’t like fish. I would have eaten all that shit in the hatch. Hurley is a better person than I. But how does he stay so fat?

And I also don’t know how to use a rifle. Or probably wouldn’t feel comfortable with a knife. Besides using it to eat a steak. (I like how I said probably. Like I’d ever feel comfortable stabbing someone/something. I mean, I’d “chicken” out of Michael Jackson’s Beat It knife fight.) (That totally made me just laugh out loud!) And I ain’t getting no steak on The Island. Unless they have cows there too. I mean, there are polar bears. IN THE JUNGLE. There could be cows. A little more believable J.J. Abrams.

And right now, with this second season, I am not enjoying it as much. Because I do not like Michelle Rodriguez. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because of all the DUIs. (You’re rich! HIRE SOMEONE TO DRIVE YOUR DRUNK ASS HOME! And, you should still be in jail.) Or that she likes to lick her armpits. But I am glad that I know that she gets killed at the end of the second season and I don’t have to watch her stupid ass anymore. Thank Jack Jesus for that. (So. Going. To HELL!)

So to sum up. Lost = good TV. Me stuck on The Island = recipe for disaster.

In closing, I would like to say that I just saw Matt Willig. On my TV! (Not in my dreams like normal.) Matt! F’ing! Willig, people! (I realize some of you have no idea what this means. Sorry.) He’s in this commercial for Verizon. That I can’t find on You Tube! You’ll just have to believe me.

Excuse me while I swoon.



  1. Is it a new Matt Willig commercial? I remember he was in one a year or so ago…but I think that was like for Capital One or something?????

  2. If you’re going to hell, then we can hang out since I’ve been championing my What Would Beavis Do campaign for years.

    Also, you’re officially borrowing my Veronica Mars DVDs. You’re out of excuses.

  3. I think hell will be more fun. I’ll know more people there. And I bet it’s all the booze you can drink! Plus! I’m always cold!

    I can’t borrow them until the summer. My DVD schedule is booked until then.

    And the Matt Willig commercial is with some dude in a locker room with a big jock strap. Matt Willig is standing next to him. Shirtless!

  4. Can you believe I’ve never seen Spaceballs? I had a friend in college who would go off on a Spaceballs tangent everytime I said I had never seen it. What I have seen is Lost. And Party of Five. I love Lost, but I, too, am always lost (heh heh) with what’s going on. I think it’s bc I try to multitask while I watch it and what I really need to do is take notes and then go study up on tvgasm.

  5. No, I cannot believe you haven’t seen Spaceballs. You are missing out, sister!

    Netflix it!

  6. What’s with the letter? Do you really need it to give your notice? Or have you been officially offered the job and you can give your notice anyway??

  7. I don’t know how my last post got here.
    It was supposed to post on “Stop the Insanity”.

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