Posted by: kristabella | November 25, 2006

Let Them Eat Leftovers

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Mine was nice, very uneventful, which is a little abnormal for my family. There were no huge fights. No one ran out of the house, slamming doors all upset. For us, this is monumental.

Now, we did have our fair share of yelling. Or should I say, getting yelled at. But I can handle it. Probably because I brought it on myself almost every time.

One of my aunts reads my blog. She told me she’s learned a lot about me from reading. I asked her what she meant and she said she was kidding. (Although I don’t believe her) And here I thought I was being on my best fucking behavior. She did mention all the God damned swearing.

My mom was a little mad about this post and thought I was making fun of her. About her not taking us to the dentist as kids. And I wasn’t. It was back in the day when adding dependents to health insurance, especially dental, wasn’t the norm. What was she going to do? And seriously, I could have done a lot to make it better. You know like lying off the sugar and sweets. And brushing more often and better. I take full blame for that.

And believe me, Mom, you’ll know when I’m making fun of you.

My sister and I laugh the same. I think it’s a cute laugh. But Gram does not. And every time we giggle together, in stereo, we get yelled at. She always yells something about how we’ll “never grow up!” We think it’s great that we get along this well and are always having a good time together. But Gram cannot. take. the. giggling. Or she hates fun. I’m not sure which one it is. But we fight on for fun because, well, it would suck if we didn’t. And I’d probably stay home on holidays. Or curl up in the corner with a bottle of wine.

But then I pissed her off again because I was talking about saying grace. I brought up that we said it TWICE at our sales meeting in Orlando. Which I think is totally wrong. It’s a business setting, and it was 170 people, a lot of which we were meeting for the first time. I think it was inappropriate. As did a lot of people in attendance. So I mentioned this on Thursday and Gram (all very religious and Catholic) was not pleased with me. My mom, who has mastered the art of biting her tongue around Gram, was telling me to stop. But I, who will never master the art of biting my tongue, kept pushing. I think I said something about someone maybe being an atheist or something and being offended. I mean, being an atheist does not impede your ability to sell dirt. There’s no need for them to have to hear that at a SALES MEETING. Anyway, I finally shut my mouth to shove food into it, and we were good. Until we started laughing again. And then again with the yelling.

My mom wanted to show me something in the basement at Gram’s house. Let me preface it a little. If you haven’t already figured out, I can be a little opinionated. And back in the days before blogs, message boards, etc. I found it completely necessary to write letters to the editor. (I actually had pretty much forgotten about this.) I got three of my letters printed. (I actually probably only wrote about 5, so I was over .500 when it came to getting published.) Two of them were in the Chicago Sun-Times and the other was in Sports Illustrated. They were all about the Bulls – Jordan, Paxson and Phil Jackson. Anyway, they were pretty small (except for the Jordan one which was the “headline” in the letter page and about six inches). But it was so cool to see my name in the paper. And we’re going back to ’94, when I was in high school.

Anyway, long story long, my Grandpa had this medicine cabinet in the basement, which was where he spent a lot of his time. Anyway, my mom showed me the inside of the cabinet, where Papa had my three letters taped up inside. It was really cool and made me happy-sad. He’s been gone almost 10 years and we all miss him. A lot.

And finally, to all the vegetarians and people who hate the idea of us eating turkeys on Thanksgiving. This was in the Chicago Tribune on Thursday. Five things you didn’t know about the bird you’re about to eat. But I would only like to point out number one.

Domesticated turkeys can easily drown when it rains because they tend to look up to see what’s hitting them and their tiny, oval-shaped nostrils are “perfect funnels” for falling rain.

Anything THAT stupid deserves to be eaten.



  1. How many years are between you and your sister? My sister is 7 years younger and we get along amazingly well.

  2. Very nice summary of Thanksgiving. What did you expect about Papa saving your articles? After all, you’re his “moutzak” (sp??)…always was & always will be.

  3. Just 3 years. All three of us (I have an older brother) get along very well.

  4. Tha tis so awesome that your Grandpa kept and “posted” your letters!
    You’ll have to put them in a scrap book or something!

  5. Grandpa saving your letters is cool and you do have one of the best giggles ever!

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