Death is Not An Option Returns! Amidst many cheers!
Kristabella was too busy drinking last week to bring you the next installment of DINAO. So without further ado, as to not disappoint anyone because I know your week revolves around my silly game, I now bring you Round 4. (Previous rounds here, here and here.)
This week’s edition is the world of politics version. And let’s just say, besides Barack, the current mayor of Chicago and the President, I’m lacking knowledge in the political people arena. I read TMZ not CNN. But thankfully, in this area in particular, it’s not too hard to think of gag-worthy contestants.
Ladies and gentlemen, start your gagging!
The Democrat Edition
Barack Obama vs. Bill Clinton
The 21st Century First Lady Edition
Hillary Clinton vs. Laura Bush
The Other First Lady Edition
Nancy Reagan vs. Eleanor Roosevelt
The Pick-A-George-Bush Edition
George W. vs. George H.W.
The Which-Old-Grey-Haired-Republican-Do-You-Like-Better Edition
John McCain vs. Dick Cheney
The Kristabella-Only-Knows-Like-Five-Current-Political-Names-and-Pulled-Them-Out-of-a-Hat Edition
Larry Craig vs. Mike Huckabee
The Kennedy Edition
John F. Kennedy vs. Robert F. Kennedy
The President’s Day Edition
George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln
The Famous Governor Edition
Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Jesse “The Body” Ventura
The Mayoral Edition
Rudy Giuliani (NYC) vs. Richard M. Daley (Chicago)
There you have it! Make your choices in the comments!
So, I’ve just spent ten minutes looking at them all, and you know what? Can’t do it. I just can’t. I think it’s maybe because I used to work with politicians… I’m having the heebie jeebies just thinking about it!
By: Amber on February 28, 2008
at 5:11 am
Obama, for definite.
Laura Bush, she loves libraries.
Eleanor Roosevelt, but eww.
H. W., even though he’s ancient
McCain, but again, eww.
EWWW. You are evil, Kristabella. Huckabee, but gag.
JFK, dude was hot.
Abe the Babe.
Daley, I don’t want to hear about 9/11 during sex.
By: nancypearlwannabe on February 28, 2008
at 7:10 am
Obama.
Laura Bush.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
Grandpa Bush (did you notice in the photo of “W” that he’s holding the phone the wrong way? Might be on purpose as a joke but OMG, this should be his official Presidential portrait. Says SO much.)
McCain but BLEECHHH!!
Ok this time you’ve really done it. I’m so grossed out. I can’t believe this but I’m saying Craig, because I think he won’t be interested in a female and I’ll get out if it because of that.
JFK! Finally, a hot one. I’m totally going to ask him about Marilyn, too.
I’m afraid of wooden teeth, so Abe.
Ventura, if only because it cracks me up to think of calling someone “The Body” in bed.
This last one is on par with the Craig/Huckabee one for me. GAG! I guess Rudy because he’s so in love with himself he won’t even know I’m there.
Jules
House of Jules
By: Jules on February 28, 2008
at 7:29 am
You are EVIL…
Barack (easy one)
Laura Bush
Eleanor cuz Nancy Reagan looks like a puppet
George HW cuz maybe (?) he’s not as stupid
McCain
Huckabee
JFK
Abe – didn’t Washington have wooden false teeth?
Arnold
Richie, aka Da Mare…gotta go with the home town boy
By: Mahnee on February 28, 2008
at 7:33 am
Is it sad that I got a little excited when I saw DINAO in my Google Reader queue? Heh.
-Barack
-Laura Bush – I said “no” to Bill; I have to say “no” to Hillary.
-Nancy
-G.W.
-John
-Mike – Gag. But, at least he wasn’t caught trying to get freaky in an airport bathroom.
-Robert
-Abe – gross, gross.
-Jesse – at least I can understand what he is saying.
-Richard – too much 9/11 talk from Rudy.
By: Tara on February 28, 2008
at 7:36 am
Oooh. This is horrid and its 5:39 am.
Barack Obama (only because he’s less likely to have some sort of creepy crawlies than Bill)
Laura Bush (see above reason)
Eleanor (although I’m not sure I’m her type, or vice-versa)
George HW I guess. If I have to. Death is looking pretty good here.
Dick – only because he’ll probably be in a Secure Undisclosed Location and unable to be found.
Huckabee. I think he’s kind of funny.
Robert. Definitely Robert.
Abe. I mean really. Wooden teeth?
Ahnold, I guess.
Richard Daley – only because I’ve met him and I liked him a little bit.
By: Nicole on February 28, 2008
at 7:45 am
Sheesh…had to make me think…THIS EARLY? =)
Barack O.
Laura B.
Eleanor R.
G.H.W.
Mccain
Huckabee
RFK
Abe
The Body
Rudy
By: Ashleigh on February 28, 2008
at 7:50 am
Obama vs. Clinton is a tough one, honestly. I would do either. But for practical reasons, I’ll say Obama because Bill has heart problems and I really don’t want anyone dying on me…or on top of me.
Hilary Clinton, for sure.
Nancy Reagan, I guess…although wasn’t there some rumor about Eleanor swinging that way?
W vs. H.W. barf. I guess H.W. because he seems like he would at least know when to pull out. His son sure doesn’t. Oh! ba-dum-bum ching!
John McCain
Mike Huckabee because his son is pretty hot. Seems like a segue could happen. And if they’re into polygamy, maybe I could talk them into polyandry.
RFK. And you totally missed a golden opportunity to have a “Dead Kennedys” category.
Honest Abe.
Governator.
Daley. Only because Giuliani blows goats.
By: kdiddy on February 28, 2008
at 8:36 am
yay, FINALLY! Couldn’t wait for this one … oh wait. THOSE are my choices? GROSS!
Ok, ok … I promised you I’d play if you put this one up, so …
Obama for sure (who knows what diseases Billy has)
Hillary, ’cause I’d like to be told what to do
Eleanor, that chick was FIERCE
young bush … he’s too stupid to actually know what to do
McCain and Huckabee but GAG GAG GAG
JFK
Washington (mmm … power … yummy)
Ventura … don’t know why
and
Giuliani … ’cause I think he’d be kinky
By: moo on February 28, 2008
at 8:49 am
1. Bill
2. Hilary…I think Madam Bush might have ice between her thighs, looks at her tightly pursed lips! scary…
3. Eleanor, Nancy looks like her bobble head might pop off during the deed and I just don’t think I could handle that.
4. Why don’t we go for a father/son tag team since my dignity would already be in the gutter for choosing just one of these guys. We could take it on the road as a stage performance and I’ll call it “Bush in Stereo”…nobody steal that!
5. McCain…Cheney is SKEEVY.
6. This is like, “Which lobotomized man would you prefer?” I’d pick Larry Craig because we know he won’t have sex with me (I’m not male) and maybe he’ll show me his bathroom stall hokey pokey!
7.RFK
8. Abe. I love a man with a beard
9.Jesse. He is the “Body” after all!
10. Oh I don’t know, pick one and send him into my room, I find them equally repulsive.
By: Melina on February 28, 2008
at 8:50 am
I’m gagging too much to type. I’ll be back after my coffee.
By: Raven on February 28, 2008
at 8:52 am
1.) Barack- he’s cute and Bill is too old now.
2.)Hilary- i’m betting she’s got some pent up sexual frustration
3.)Eleanor, because Nancy would just say no
4.)G.W., cause he’s dumb enough to be convinced that we already did it, therefore allowing me to get out of it.
5.)McCain
6.)(pardon me while i vomit into my filing drawer) Eww…I guess Larry Craig. I’m guessing he’d be adventurous…maybe he’d bring me a more attractive to join us?
7.)RFK…after i saw the movie Bobby, I was smitten
8.)Lincoln…he’s tall!
9.)Umm…Arnold I guess.
10.) Daley, cause I don’t know anything about him!
By: mypieceoftheworld on February 28, 2008
at 9:06 am
OK, WAIT! There is a PROBLEM! Why are you blogging about these FOOLS when you can be blogging about the fools you hung out with on Tuesday night! LOL!!!!
By: Manic Mommy on February 28, 2008
at 9:16 am
It’s the morning and some of these make my skin crawl.
By: Nic on February 28, 2008
at 9:18 am
Can’t I just pick JFK for all of them?
Fine.
Obama
Laura
Ellie
The Young One
McCain
Huckabee
JFK (but I’d VOTE for RFK)
Abe – I’m a sucker for tall skinny guys
The Body
Rudy, but I feel bad about myself.
By: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah on February 28, 2008
at 9:27 am
Good God girl. You could warn me next time, so I don’t accidentally upchuck all over my keyboard.
Well, since DINAO, I will participate, but I do so begrudgingly.
Clinton – because my husband looks a lot like him, and I’ve been there done him.
Hillary or Laura? What is WITH you and these lesbian tendencies??? I don’t want either one of them. Sigh…ok…Hillary. No, Laura. No…fuck.
Nancy Reagen (again, see above!) because Eleanor has scary teeth.
Dubya. Because something tells me he’s been round the block with someone named “Candy” once or twice before.
McCain. And I don’t need to give you a reason.
Larry Craig, because you just know Huckabee has skin folds from all that weight loss.
RFK. But if JFK wanted to join in I’d totally let him.
Lincoln. Again, it’s a teeth issue. Wooden? No thanks.
Arnold. Because he’ll be back. Muahaha.
And as for the last, I guess Giuliani. Again…teeth…
By: Candy on February 28, 2008
at 9:31 am
I’m with Jules….but I’d be gagging all the way through…to many damn Bushes on this list…then to many freaking repubs…
By: Melissa on February 28, 2008
at 10:36 am
Oh my, this is a tough one
Can I just say I’d pick RFK any day over most politicians. Something about him…
By: She Likes Purple on February 28, 2008
at 11:40 am
Okay…this is a bad one. Especially because I’m trying to eat a tuna fish sandwich right now and it’s not going down easy…
1. Bill – At least I might get a nice cigar out of it.
2. Laura – Hillary obviously can’t get er done.
3. Nancy – Because she loved her Ronnie.
4. George Dubya – I hate him as President, but he knows how to party.
5. McCain – Cheney would probably croak halfway through.
6. Huckabee – Ew.
7. RFK – Hottie.
8. George – Gotta love wooden teeth.
9. Arnie – I’ve always loved Arnold.
10. Daley – He makes me barf less.
That was torture….
By: Allison on February 28, 2008
at 11:59 am
I am totally grossed out by George Washington or Abraham Lincoln! But I think I’d go with Washington just to see if they do things the same way we do them in 2008.
By: Curlatini, Esq. on February 28, 2008
at 12:32 pm
I totally look forward to this every week!
Here are my picks:
1. Oh, Bill. Billy. William.
2. Laura. You just know she’s a freak underneath her Chanel.
3. Eek. Eleanor…??
4. H.W. That’s how much I hate the current Bush administration.
5. McCain. Again, that’s how much I hate the current Bush administration.
6. Craig. Lord, don’t even get me started on Huckabee’s coverup of his son’s murder of a stray dog. And we all know Craig’s a freak.
7. JFK. I worked for Robert’s daughter so that might be a little weird.
8. Abe. The bigger the feet, the bigger the meat.
9. Ahhnold! Pump it!
10. Guiliani. He knows how to use his mouth in one way, why not others?
By: Katie on February 28, 2008
at 1:08 pm
Oh. My. God. This is just mean. But, fine. I will participate.
Clinton (I can’t explain it)
Hilary – but only because I couldn’t possibly even contemplate someone who sleeps with George W
Eleanor, because she looks less like a sweet little old granny
You have got to fucking kidding me. George Bush vs. George Bush? I think I actually have to pick the old guy. *Barfs in the corner*
Um, John McCain I guess.
And Mike Huckabee, I guess? I don’t even know who these people are. I’m Canadian, if that’s any excuse.
RFK. Phew, an easy one that doesn’t make me gag.
Lol… George Washington.
Arnie. I think I’d crack up laughing the whole time too, cos he’s kind of more like a caricature than an actual human, isn’t he?
Rudy Giuliani
By: Miss Squirrel on February 28, 2008
at 1:19 pm
I thought about cheating a little and just designating them by left or right so as to make me less sick, but for you I will actually name names.
Obama
Laura
Eleanor
HW
McCain
Craig
RFK
Abe
Jesse
Daley
No commentary as to why, I had to speed through the whole thing.
By: Raven on February 28, 2008
at 1:40 pm
[...] You guys are all playing Death is Not an Option over on Kristabella’s site, right? [...]
By: Sarah and the Goon Squad » Blog Archive » Randomness Part 106 on February 28, 2008
at 1:51 pm
Sarah sent me. And what a list. Geez, couldnt you have thrown us one bone?
Obama
Hillary (this one was hard)
Eleanor (b.c allegedly she has some experience with the ladies)
Junior – its the age thing, but I;ll hate myself in the morning
McCain
Huckabee – Craig and the whole bathroom stall thing, eww
Bobby- as the underdog, I think he would work harder
George – Abe’s beard skeeves me out
Jesse – Ah-nold is orange
Daley – but we’d get drunk first
By: Michele on February 28, 2008
at 2:05 pm
Yeah, THIS is how DINAO is supposed to be played… your skin is actually supposed to crawl as you make some of your choices!
Barack Obama vs. Bill Clinton
- Bill. At least I know he wouldn’t expect me to be super skinny…
Hillary Clinton vs. Laura Bush
- Hillary. There are too many other Republicans on this list that I’ll have to deal with, why would I want to subject myself to another?
Nancy Reagan vs. Eleanor Roosevelt
- Nancy. Eleanor just kinda weirds me out.
George W. vs. George H.W.
- HW. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.
John McCain vs. Dick Cheney
Larry Craig vs. Mike Huckabee
- Craig. Someone mentioned Huckabee’s weight loss and skin folds and that almost made me puke.
John F. Kennedy vs. Robert F. Kennedy
- RFK. I think he was a bit more brooding and sexy.
George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln
- Abe. Wooden teeth? Do you think I want splinters down there?
Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Jesse “The Body” Ventura
- The Body. Ooops, forgot the quotation marks… “The Body.” I don’t think I could handle the cheesy movie lines from Arnold.
Rudy Giuliani (NYC) vs. Richard M. Daley (Chicago)
- Daley. Even though I think Giuliani did some good things for NYC, there’s something about him that just squicks me out.
And since baseball season is just around the corner, can we have one of those as a DINAO round? You could match them up based on field position!
By: The Muse on February 28, 2008
at 2:23 pm
Lady, you’ve gone too far this week.
Obama
Laura
Nancy
McCain
GW? Awful, but not as old
RFK
Lincoln
Schwarzz
Daley
By: slynnro on February 28, 2008
at 3:37 pm
Lincoln v. Washington is my absolute favorite line-up here.
By: -R- on February 28, 2008
at 5:41 pm
Via The Goon Squad’s page…..I love this DINAO!! I’m just going to picture them all in their younger days else I will lose my dinner right now.
Obama
Laura
Nancy
Senior
John
Huckabee
JFK
Lincoln
The Body
Daly
Oh god, I may be ill now. Blech
Please make the next one a Pretty People edition (even though those less fortunate looking need love too)
By: Trishfreak on February 28, 2008
at 8:39 pm
I don’t know what I’m supposed to be choosing—can you say “too lazy to go into KJ’s archives”?—but here are my choices:
Barack: I don’t know why, being the rabid Republican that I am, that I should instinctively like him, but I do.
Laura: Classy. Very, very classy.
Eleanor: I know nothing about her at all, but why not?
W: I did say I was a rabid Republican, right? I’m still a fan.
Cheney: He’s a trip.
Huckabee: Really, this is a vote against Craig. Shoetapping simply should not be a term in the public discourse, and now it is, and I blame him.
Bobby: Not a huge JFK fan. But Bobby seriously kicked some ass.
Lincoln: Gettysburg. And the best line of all time: when told that Ulysses Grant was drinking large amounts, he said “well, find out what he’s been drinking and send my other Generals a case.”
Ahnuld: I just don’t like the other guy. But a guy who can totally reinvent himself like that, from bodybuilder to Governor.
And finally, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. Because he kicked Yasser Arafat out of the Met on an official state visit. Rudy said that there was a city ordinance that prohibited terrorists on City property, and since Yasser was a terrorist, he had to leave. Rudy had him escorted out. How beautiful is that?
By: Hank on February 28, 2008
at 10:40 pm
Bill
Hillary
Eleanor (she looks manly)
Death is one of the only things we can count on in life, and therefore always an option
McCain
see my 4th line
JFK
Lincoln
Schwarzenegger
Giuliani
By: Lori on February 29, 2008
at 9:56 am
Clinton
Laura Bush- Love her!
Nancy R- She’s a classy lady
Younger Bush-a-dorable
McCain
Huckabee
Robert K
George
Arnold (ew)
Guiliani
By: Scarlet on February 29, 2008
at 10:32 am
Can I just say that I LOVE how Hank didn’t really know what he was choosing, but chose anyway? That’s probably the best way to go about this kind of thing!
Jules
House of Jules
By: Jules on February 29, 2008
at 10:48 am
YES
THIS IS LIKE SOPHIE’S CHOICE, I THINK BILL CLINTON IS SO CUTE… but I will choose Obama due to the threat of venereal disease with Clinton
Hillary, fo’ sho. I am 100% certain Laura is bad in bed.
Eleanor, because wasn’t she secretly a lesbian anyway?
George HW Bush, because he is less evil by comparison
McCain, same reason as Bush
Huckabee. Those lips are kissable. Also, I don’t think Larry is interested in the ladies.
RFK, because I am sort of obsessed with him.
Lincoln, definitely… you know what they say, “Tall hat, long…”
Arnie. Because I lived in MN under Ventura and hate him forever.
WTF with the Mayors? NO Bloomberg?!?! Write in vote for Bloomberg!!!!
By: Laurel on February 29, 2008
at 2:28 pm
Bill – I go for big Southern boys
Laura – Um, because of Hill’s cankles.
Eleanor – because I think she had experience
George H.W. – because Death is NOT an option
McCain
Huckaby
Bobby – the cuter brother
Abe
Jesse
Rudy – he must have something going for him, he keeps marrying younger women
By: hotfessional on March 2, 2008
at 1:48 pm
OK, KJ. Now that I know what this actually is, I might have to rethink my answers. It’s amazing how much knowing what this is changes your thinking.
Certainly the Eleanor answer would change.
By: Hank on March 3, 2008
at 8:13 am
You did the Mayoral edition but didn’t throw in Gavin Newsom? That is shameful.
Also Evan Bayh is a hottie. Oh and Tim Ryan from OH who I love and Jim Jordan also from OH who looks a lot better when he’s not grinning like a cheshire cat.
By: Heather B. on March 6, 2008
at 7:47 am
Ooh! I love this game, especially with politicians. Major gag factor.
Barack- He’s so sexy
Hillary Clinton- Like someone said previously, anyone who can sleep with Dubbya is a no go.
Eleanor Roosevelt
George H.W.- But that picture of George W is hilarious
John McCain- Ick ick ick
Larry Craig- I can’t stand Huckabee’s whiny voice and buck teeth
Robert- He’s WAY better looking and more mysterious
Abe- The thought of having sex with George is a bit nauseating
Ahhnold
Richard Daley- Rudy is beyond annoying. And he looks seriously deranged in that picture
By: JenKneeBee on March 12, 2008
at 2:14 pm
Ohmygod. You people call this fun? SICK.
And hilarious.
By: Kelliqua on March 13, 2008
at 10:43 pm